Focusing Tip #531
“What if you try to learn a powerful inner process from a book, and you don’t get results?“
A Reader writes:
“I’ve been doing Focusing on my own from your book Power of Focusing and also Gendlin’s Focusing. I think I’m getting some good results but often nothing happens. Is Focusing something that only a few people can do?”
Dear Reader:
Focusing is something that anyone can do.
But there is something that only a few people can do, and that is: to learn to do Focusing from a book.
That’s because the skill of Focusing is both different from what we are used to doing and it is internal and therefore invisible to the eye. Just reading about how to do it, one can easily misunderstand and be trying something ineffective and getting frustrated.
I still remember a guy who came to me for his first guided Focusing session, after trying Focusing on his own for months. With my guidance he closed his eyes and brought his awareness to his body. He located a meaningful body sensation and I thought, “Good! We’re doing fine.” Then he said, “I’m letting go of that tightness and looking for something else.” Why? I nearly wailed. “Because Gendlin’s book says the felt sense has to be fuzzy, and that wasn’t fuzzy.”
Often people are having the experience that they need to have, but they are passing over it and looking for something else. Or they are slipping into familiar habits, or other processes they know better. One woman said, at the crucial moment of the session, “Now I am sending it white light so it can change.” Another reported, “I am explaining to this sad feeling that it doesn’t have to be sad.” These common errors are easy to amend but hard to spot on our own, because they happen in our blind spots.
In short, having an actual teacher who can see what you are doing, and guide you from there into Focusing, is priceless.
Some people can learn Focusing from a book. But some cannot. If you’re not getting the results you suspect are possible, do seek out a teacher.