When you set a goal and it hasn’t happened yet, how do you keep positive?

Focusing Tip #537

“How do I not get discouraged by the time it’s taking, things not happening, etc…”

Bhavani writes:

Thank you for your response to my question about goal setting. Could you also talk about how to deal with the gap between goal setting and its achievement (i.e. not to get discouraged by time it’s taking, things not happening etc. and keeping positive anticipation and gratitude along the way)?

Dear Bhavani:

When you’ve set a goal and it is not happening, no matter what you try… you are probably in what Barbara McGavin and I call a “Tangle.”

Especially if you are struggling with feelings like frustration, discouragement, despair, and longing.

Part of you says you need to be strong, be persistent, push through the blocks. And another part of you feels like a failure and is ready to quit.

“Did I choose the wrong goal? Should it be taking this long?” Those are natural questions to be asking — but I doubt if they will help very much.

This is because, when you are inside a Tangle, you can’t see what would be the right thing to do.

So instead, I would suggest letting all the parts be there: the one that wants to drive ahead, the one that is feeling discouraged about what’s not happening… and maybe there is even another one that isn’t so sure the goal is right.

Then, be the Listener to each one, to the feelings and the worries and the longings of each part of you. When you are Self-in-Presence, you are able to “be the space” where every part of you can be respected and accepted for what it is holding. You might be surprised at the new possibilities that open – when you don’t assume you know what has to happen.