“I can’t put a gentle hand in the center of my back without being a contortionist!”

Focusing Tip #547

What if you want to bring a gentle touch to something that needs caring in the center of your back?

Monica writes:

One of the suggestions you often give in Focusing is to “move a gentle hand to the place in your body needing your attention.” I often feel tightness in my middle of my back. It is quite difficult for me to “put a gentle hand” on that part without being a contortionist! Do you have any other suggestions?

Dear Monica:

At first glance it seems impossible to allow a gentle hand to move to the place that’s calling for attention, if that place is the middle of the back.

But remember: the purpose of the hand is to convey to the place that you are with it.

So it might be possible to put the hand somewhere that you can reach, and still be present to the tightness in the center of the back.

I am thinking perhaps the place in the front of the body that corresponds (is across from) the place at the back. After all, the hand is not trying to physically soothe or change the feeling.

It’s like with your hand, you are saying to the place, “I am with you now.”

The other idea is to ask it how it would like you to be with it.

This is a big idea, that we are just being with something we feel, instead of trying to soothe it, change it, fix it, or resolve it.

Yet in fact this is what brings real change.