Focusing is inner listening, inner respect, inner welcome.
Tips for Focusing Alone
Do you deserve to pay attention to yourself? Is it all right to take time to simply listen to how you’re doing right now? If there is any part of you that doubts that, then that might be a great topic for some Focusing!
This is often the sort of part that comes up just as we are sitting down for a nice session of Focusing alone. You don’t have to merge with it or believe it… just say hello to it!
Tips for Focusing with a Partner
Last week I talked about exercising your right to be silent about anything that isn’t ready to be spoken to your partner. Remember to be sensitive to how your inner places are feeling. YOU may be OK about sharing something, but “something in you” might feel shy or scared to expose itself. Let the inner parts be in charge of what gets spoken. See if those parts might like to speak to you first, inwardly. After all, YOU are the listener who really counts!
One of the reasons to close our eyes when Focusing with a partner is to remind ourselves that this is not a conversation, this is not for telling the other person things. This is a process of inner listening. What is spoken, is spoken because saying it and hearing it back will help the process, NOT to inform or care for the other person.