It’s so great to be living a Focusing life!
Tips for Focusing Alone
Last week I mentioned that often people report that their biggest difficulty with Focusing is sitting down to do it. Don’t let Focusing be something else that you try to “make” yourself do! That way lies resistance and impasse.
For Focusing, we need Presence… and in Presence, we have no need to make ourselves do anything. Instead of “I should do some Focusing,” try saying, “Let me check if something inside is WANTING some Focusing… wanting some gentle interested attention…” When you do that, guess what? You’re already doing some mini-Focusing, right there in the midst of your day.
Tips for Focusing with a Partner
Since we’re talking about “shoulds,” let’s also ask what you can do when your Focusing partner says “I should be more so-and- so” or “I need to do such-and-such.” Obviously you don’t want to just repeat that back, right? “You should be more so-and-so.” No, that just doesn’t feel right.
Of course we want to use Presence Language, but at first we might wonder how to do that.
“You sensing that something in you should be more so-and-so.” I don’t think so.
When there is some kind of “should” involved, the magic words for the partner are “something in you is SAYING.”
“You’re sensing something in you is saying you should be more so-and- so.”
You might notice right now how that would be to say… and to hear from your partner.