Focusing is different from our usual way of being because it is a pause, a slowing down, and a sensing from a more wholistic perspective.
Slowing Down While Focusing
One tip that will make all your Focusing go better is this one: Slow down. Slowing down helps you sense into your body, into your being at this moment. (And, in a delightful synergy, sensing into your body also helps you slow down!) If you say to yourself “I’m taking time to…” that’s a great reminder to take time.
For example:
“I’m taking time to sense into my body.”
“I’m taking time to invite what wants my awareness now.”
“I’m taking time to invite just the right word or phrase to describe this.”
and so on.
Slowing down reminds you to worry less about “doing it right” and helps you be in the moment, this moment, in this body right now.
Slowing Down as a Companion
Likewise when you are the Focusing Companion, it’s a great gift to yourself and your partner if you remember to slow down.
Take a breath between what your partner said and your saying it back to them.
Slow down the pace of your saying back, and stre-e-etch out the key emotional words — if that feels natural to do.
Settle down into your own body, and feel your own breath slowing. Being a Focusing Companion need not feel hard, like a effort. It can be the most relaxing practice in the world… if you breathe, slow down, and just be.