Are you facing big decisions that are hard to make?
Are you troubled by past choices you regret?
Do you agonize and doubt yourself over even small decisions?
At the Crossroads: Finding Your Way to Calm, Clear Decisions is a self-paced audio MP3 course taught by Ann Weiser Cornell
About the course:
In At the Crossroads: Finding Your Way to Calm, Clear Decisions you’ll learn how to:
- Clarify what the options are so that you can more quickly sense what’s in the way of deciding easily
- Acknowledge the emotional states around decisions so they don’t overwhelm you
- Find out how to receive the positive gift that each side of the decision has for you – whether you chose it or not
- Make your decision based on your inner sense of rightness so you don’t have to second-guess yourself later
- Apply the “At the Crossroads” process any time a future tough decision comes up
Decisions can be tough. Some decisions torment us. We make one decision, then we doubt and second-guess ourselves. We go around in circles, and try to make lists of pros and cons, but none of it helps.
It can often seem like a decision is a battle between the head and the heart. Rationally, it seems things should go one way, but our feelings pull us in another direction.
An important decision shouldn’t be made by either the head or the heart. (True!)
When decisions are hard, it’s because we have multiple parts of us pulling in different directions, making it hard to find a clear way forward.
We might also hesitate to commit to current decisions because of our regrets over past decisions.
Decisions don’t have to pull us apart…they CAN pull us together again!
Decisions — especially hard ones that create internal conflict — are opportunities. They are profound moments in which two (or more) sides of the self need to be honored and heard in order to move forward from our wholeness.
You’ll also learn how to:
- Be open to the possibility that neither side is completely right…and find out what to do then
- Deal with that inner sense of urgency or impatience that can actually make the decision more difficult
- Revisit past decisions that leave you with regrets – so that the feelings of regret release or become milder
- Discover the experience of flowing, grounded action that emerges from your whole self – and find a new way forward
A Personal Note from Ann
One of the biggest decisions in my life was when I decided to move from Chicago to San Francisco in the summer of 1983. From a logical perspective, this choice really seemed like a bad idea. Chicago had so much for me – lots of friends, a Focusing community, my work – and most of all, Gene Gendlin lived there, so it was the center of the world for Focusing. Everything was going so well for me in Chicago.
At the beginning of the year, my boyfriend told me he wanted to live in San Francisco. We discussed it… over, sideways, and backwards… and finally, I said it was clear to me that I needed to be in Chicago.
He said, “OK… so we’ll have a long-distance relationship,” and scheduled the moving van for his things. I was fine with that. It was the “right choice.” I helped him pack, and I waved him goodbye.
Almost immediately after he was gone I began to have a distinct pain in the lower right back. It was so definitely present that I went to see a doctor… but the doctor could find nothing wrong. So I did Focusing with it… and the words came, “Staying in Chicago was the wrong choice.”
I did not want to hear that! Chicago had everything for me. The only thing waiting for me in San Francisco was a boyfriend. No friends, no work, no prospects. (What I was doing in Chicago would not carry across state lines.) I was 33 years old. I hated the idea of starting again, like a student, living in poor housing and doing low-paid work.
But the pain in my lower right back was still there… and every time I did Focusing with it, it showed me the same thing. Me in San Francisco felt good. Me in Chicago felt bad.
So I shifted the question. I asked my body: “What would make it possible for me to do this?”
The answer came: “Start a Focusing newsletter.”
Chicago was the center of the world for Focusing. If I had to leave, I wanted to take a part of the center of the world with me. Focusing was starting to be known worldwide but there was no newsletter, no way for the international community to connect.
I knew nothing about starting or running a newsletter. This was not only before the internet, it was even before personal computers. Nevertheless, I knew I could do it, absolutely, without question… and starting a newsletter would make it possible, even interesting to go to California. As soon as I made this decision, the pain in my back vanished.
So I, in turn, called up the moving van. I arrived in San Francisco just as my boyfriend found an apartment for the two of us… dark, small, and cheap! To start my newsletter I wrote to thirty-some Focusing people around the world, asking them to help me by contributing articles. (One of them was Barbara McGavin, my first contact with her.) The first issue was published in March 1984, produced by typewriter and rubber stamps.
Thirty years later… The Focusing Connection newsletter is no longer published. But it went for 29 years, connecting the world of Focusing and opening doors for me that I never imagined. Being in the San Francisco Bay Area also opened doors I could never have imagined. Looking back, that was a decision that could not have been more right.
I’m fascinated by the use of Focusing for decisions. Today I make Focusing-based decisions every day. And as in my story, I’ve learned that the key question isn’t always “What is the right thing to do?” Sometimes it’s “What would make this possible?” or “What’s in the way of feeling whole-hearted about this?”
I love sharing what I’ve learned about decisions.
Ann Weiser Cornell
What you’ll gain from this audio set:
- An understanding of what’s really going on when choices seem hard or impossible to make
- A clear way to step out of the head/heart dichotomy when it comes to making decisions and what you can do instead
- The skills to honor and listen to the whole self while moving forward with your decisions
About your guide:
Ann Weiser Cornell struggled with painful addiction, anxiety in social situations, and an inability to do the thing she most wanted to do – write.
Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help alleviate the thinking and feeling cycles that kept her stuck in hard places. It changed her life, and it became her mission to help others create quiet miracles in their lives too.
For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With her At the Crossroads audio set, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice the simple, yet revolutionary process of Focusing with her gentle, compassionate guidance.
This audio set is for you if:
- Find decisions hard, put them off, or flounder after making them and want to find a better way.
- Want to make choices with more confidence and feel assured that you’re weighing what’s really important to you in the process.
- Are busy and don’t want to take a full course online or can’t fit it into your schedule.
- Are familiar with Focusing and want to learn a new application for it or are new to Focusing and want to discover it in a practical, easily applicable way.
- It’s portable, so you can take it with you wherever you go.
- Includes guided exercises to help you drop in when you need extra support
- A custom-designed workbook to integrate your learning and make practicing new skills easier
Want to Listen Before You Decide?
When decisions seem to pull you apart, Focusing can help you come back together again.
Discover the practical steps to making decisions with your whole self.
Get started with the At the Crossroads Audio Set!
What People Are Saying About At the Crossroads
- -Taj"Growing up in a family where being ‘right’ was ‘god’, making a decision was, for me, fraught with anxiety. At The Crossroads is layered with baby steps that showed me how to discover what my body knows about the right decision for me. So now, I not only have a way out of the anxiety but a way into a truly enjoyable process. I recommend this course to anyone with a current pressing decision and to those who would like to learn an ongoing way of meeting daily decisions."
- Brenda Shoshanna"This was truly a magical and beautiful experience for me. Ann did a magnificent job presenting, with great clarity, wisdom, and compassion for all. The material was extremely focused, well thought out and touched all the right spots. To my great surprise, it opened many doors that I didn't even realize had been long shut and all kinds of new things kept happening. In fact, the basic decision I had to make was quite different from the one I was grappling with at the beginning. All in all, I recommend both this course and working with Ann wholeheartedly."
Topics Covered in At the Crossroads:
Part 1: The Space of Not-Choosing
Part 2: The Block to Making the Decision
Part 3: The Part That’s Pushing
Part 4: Regrets Over Past Decisions
Part 5: The Decision Itself
Available as MP3s. Includes a supplemental workbook, provided digitally after purchase.
Total Length: 5 hours 50 minutes
File Size: 211.8 MB
Note: Audio was recorded during an actual phone seminar and has been edited. Sound quality may vary.
About Digital Downloads
You’ll receive an email after checkout with a link to download the MP3s, which you can then save to your computer.
*Please Note: Each purchased digital copy is licensed to one individual for personal use only.