The Power of Wanting: Honoring Your Desires, Expanding Your Life
Is there a fuller life for yourself you really want to create?
In a series of supported exercises, you’ll practice holding your wanting and also holding the outcome open. Your wanting can carry you forward into outcomes that may be surprising and even better than what you imagined.
What You’ll Be Learning
- how to increase your ability to feel “good”
- how to create a larger container for receiving more
- how to create new neural pathways for changing negative habits
- how gratitude sets the stage for having more of what we want
At A Glance:
If you know there must be some way to unlock the life you really want, and you’re determined to find it.
A five-week live online course that explores how to bring your whole self forward & why this matters as you move towards your life dreams.
Live Online Course – join us from anywhere in the world!
Because the life you have been longing for, your fuller life, will bring your gifts to the world as well as to yourself.
About the Course
In this course, you will learn how to release the deep essential aliveness in your wanting. Not in a simplistic goal-oriented way, because the outcome – no matter how desirable – is ultimately not the point. Rather, the purpose is to release the life-forward energy embedded in your desires into your life as a whole.
Many of us have been hurt around our desires. Perhaps wanting was unsafe, or even dangerous. Perhaps we’re left with, “What’s the point of wanting? I’m not going to get it anyway.”
In this course we will learn to turn toward the parts of us that carry the wounds of unfulfilled desire, and listen to the painful feelings of not having been allowed to want what we want. As these parts are healed, the life force inside them emerges and carries us forward.
What People Are Saying…
“Thanks to taking The Power of Wanting, false limiting beliefs that I had held for years were dissolving literally every day during the course–I had a list a page long of them, so this is not an exaggeration. It feels like a LOT of creative energy had been suppressed by that “perfect storm” of beliefs.
With those lifted, I feel like a racehorse who has been hobbled but can now pelt around and really try its speed.”
– Emily Agnew, Certified Facilitator for Focusing and Inner Bonding, Rochester, New York
About the Teacher
Lucinda is a gifted, warm teacher who inspires and connects in order to bring out the life-forward direction in each of her students. She has been working closely with Ann Weiser Cornell for many years. She has over 25 years of experience as a teacher and as a healing professional. She is also a world traveler with a gift for connecting with people of many cultures.
Positive thinking can push away the parts that are perceived as negative. But sometimes Focusing can be too passive. Just “being with” a depressed part or a criticizing part without giving it any direction can perpetuate a stagnant state.
Finding the Wanting in “negative” parts
The Key to beginning to tap into the energy and the power that is contained in “negative,” blocking parts, is turning toward those parts with interest, compassion, empathy and patience. As you create a zone of safety for ‘parts’ that are not wanting something ‘bad’ to happen to you (from their point of view) they can reveal how they are really not wanting you to feel something: ashamed, afraid, sad, humiliated, abandoned, worthless…
And when they’ve been thoroughly heard, they themselves begin to reveal what they are wanting for you to be able to feel: loved, free, joyous, playful, fulfilled, satisfied, alive…
As you sense this wanted feeling, feeling the depth of the desire of what it does want for you, that part now begins to contribute its energy toward what you do want.
Tolerating feeling “good”
When I was a hypnotherapist and working a lot with clients quitting smoking, the #2 reason people went back to smoking was feeling “too good.” In this course you’ll learn to notice what happens when you start to feel “too good.” You might get sick or get in an argument with your partner or start having fantasies of terrible accidents happening to you or people you love.
As you develop your capacity for Self-in-Presence, your tolerance level for feeling good will increase. You will be able to hold the wanted feeling for longer and longer. The energy within it will release at a deeper and deeper level into your whole being.
What this is really all about
The main purpose of honoring our desires is to be more Present, more fully alive right now, in this moment, open to the unfolding of your life.
How Lucinda Developed The Power of Wanting
I’m Lucinda Hayden and I started out as a hypnotherapist. Classic hypnotherapy is about giving positive suggestions to the subconscious. When I first started out, in the late 80s, I worked with a lot of people quitting smoking. For someone wanting to quit smoking, the suggestion, “You are now free from smoking” often worked. But other times it didn’t. I knew something was missing from what I was doing but I didn’t know what—yet.
In the early 90s I developed a program that helped golfers with the ‘mental game’ called Inner Golf. I had a lot of success with helping golfers lower their handicap and win tournaments. I even worked with the head pro of Pebble Beach and did trainings for the staff at Spyglass. In that program, I incorporated a lot of different things: positive thinking, visualization, mental rehearsal… and there really is a lot of value in those things.
About Positive Thinking
All the golfers knew by this time that golf was very mental and that they should be thinking positive thoughts. But I knew even at that time that the key was not in the thinking. If the golfer thinks, “I’m going to sink that putt” but what he was feeling was doubtlike … “yeah, right”… it didn’t work… so the key was in the feeling. I taught them that you have to think a positive thought, but you also have to really believe that thought and feel it. My golf program did well and helped a lot of people.
The Missing Piece
But even with all the success that I was having with clients, I knew there was something missing. When I found Inner Relationship Focusing, I discovered the missing piece… the key. I realized what was missing from hypnotherapy and the emphasis on Positive Thinking was that they were over-riding the “parts.” These parts are trying to help us in their own way — and they really are helping — if only temporarily.
With smokers, nicotine numbs feelings temporarily, but doesn’t make them go away. When the numbing starts to fade, the need for the nicotine returns. From the point of view of the “part” that doesn’t want to quit smoking, it’s afraid that the person will be overwhelmed by their feelings if there was no way to numb them, so no wonder it wouldn’t want to quit smoking. It doesn’t want to let go of its “medication.”
In Inner Relationship Focusing we are not trying to push past our parts that seem to be blocking us from something. Instead when we learn how to turn toward those parts with curiosity and respect, we discover how they are trying to protect us from feeling bad and how they long for us to live vibrant, fulfilled, lives.
Curious about this course? Listen in to a free webinar from October 10th on The Power of Wanting. We will show you:
- What’s important about honoring your desires
- How gratitude can help you increase your capacity to feel good
- How the new discoveries in neuroscience can help you get closer to what you want
- Barbara J. Dickinson, Certified Focusing Trainer & Career Management Consultant, Denville, NJ"I have taken the Power of Wanting course with Lucinda over and over since its inception in 2010. It feels like I am in a graduate program on better living. Even the first time I took it, I learned more from Lucinda about the power of the human mind -- where we put our attention and how to use directed intention -- than I ever imagined possible. The results have been fantastic! I have changed my life in so many positive ways, from the overhaul of relationships that were not healthy for me to the home I have created for myself and the way that I now only commit my time and energy to what I want to do. Lucinda's class is so clear, so well-organized and so inviting -- I cannot think of a better way to deliver this vital information about better living through intention. Her gentle yet informed teaching style, her humor and warmth, her commitment to all who accompany her in this work and most importantly, her dedication to Focusing as a way of life, and especially to its power to change the most daunting life situations, are priceless!"
- Charles Herr, Clinical Psychologist, New York City, NY
"I thoroughly enjoyed The Power of Wanting course I took with Lucinda! She combines a deep, solid knowledge of Focusing with a warm playfulness that leads to deep learning and fun. Her enthusiasm is contagious. I found myself returning a few years later to listen again to the recordings of her class--something I don't often do--and enjoyed them again & found new learning there.
I highly recommend Lucinda as a teacher! I predict that any class with her will be both pleasurable as well as rewarding."
- Marcella Calabi, Soprano, Voice/Vision Consultant and Certified Focusing Professional, New York City, NY"The magnificent thing about Lucinda’s Power of Wanting course is how much richness it adds to our individual process – how much deeper it encourages us to go in our Focusing practice, and as a result how much farther it empowers us to go in our growth. I signed up looking for support in Focusing with the biggest unmet “wantings” in my life. Lucinda gave me that support and so much more. She gave me a structure and a safe container for attending to all the feelings that those desires bring up; a wise perspective on desire itself that was a revelation to me; and conceptual tools that were new to me, and profoundly helpful. I experienced several shifts and powerful 'a-ha' moments during the course, and my process continues to be informed by what I learned. Seeing how far forward those experiences moved me in my life, I'm finding it hard to believe the course was only five weeks long!"
- Lynd Morris, Silver Spring, MD"Lucinda Hayden’s “Power of Wanting” course has been such a valuable learning experience for me that I’ve participated in it multiple times. Why? My ability to dream big grows stronger with each class. Simultaneously, Lucinda’s compassionate and even playful guidance—including the way she formats class and home practices (with new material added each time she offers this series)—support me in taking steps to turn my dreams into reality. My eyes have been opened to a universe of possibilities and now I’m watching myself living wholeheartedly into them."
- Sharon Lincoln, Specializing in Focusing with Animals, Hemet, CA"This Power of Wanting course has been a life-changing experience for me! I took it originally because I wanted to feel more peace and joy. Before this course, every time I would go toward something that I wanted in my life, the very strong criticizing part of me would get terrified. Since it was so hard to be with all that fear, I gave up on whatever I was wanting for myself. I felt hopeless about ever being able to move forward. This course showed me how to develop a relationship with this criticizing part of me and things have shifted. I have started to feel more peaceful and joyful. I have now participated in The Power of Wanting six times. Each course, I peel away another layer that needs my company. I am now experiencing a richness in my life that I never thought possible. This course has given me the tools to keep my life moving forward."
How Online Courses Work
We use Zoom, an online video conference platform, to connect you to other students and the teacher. Before the class starts you will receive a Zoom link to use each time the class meets. You can join us via your camera-equipped computer, tablet, or smart phone. Prefer not to be on video? You can turn off your camera. Don’t want to call via computer? You can call in by phone. Zoom is free and easy to use. You will be able to sign on in advance to make sure you can access it, but we’ve had very few problems with it. Students also receive access to a private webpage where course materials can be found.
There is no prerequisite for this course. All are welcome.
Continuing Education Credit & Course Completion Certificate
Course meets the qualifications for 10 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and/or LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. Focusing Resources, CAMFT Approved CE Provider #62524.
Focusing Resources is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and/or LEPs. Focusing Resources maintains responsibility for this course and its content.
There is a $25 administrative fee for CE units. Course completion certificates are awarded at the end of the course upon completion of all requirements and the course evaluation. (If you don’t want CE units but would like a completion certificate, the $25 fee does still apply.)
Eligibility for CE units requires at least 80% live attendance. Missed classes must be made up.
Cancellations, Changes & Refunds
Up to 14 days before the first day of class: Just let us know and we'll refund your course fee. Or you can choose to apply the entire course fee towards a future class with us.
Cancellations received 13 days or fewer before class begins: No refund, sorry.
When Something Doesn't Go As You'd Hoped...
We are always open to discussing experiences with our courses that didn’t work for you or didn’t go the way you expected. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to email your course instructor, the staff member in charge of your course, or Ann Weiser Cornell. Email addresses for all these people will be supplied on registration. We will work with you to find a way to meet your needs.