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Focusing Tip #855 – Making Time for Self-Care – “Saying hello isn’t enough and sitting down to Focus would be too much.”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #855 – Making Time for Self-Care – “Saying hello isn’t enough and sitting down to Focus would be too much.” How can you tend to upset parts if you don’t have time to do Focusing? Read on… Jenna writes: What about when I’m going about my day and something in me is upset about something, but I don’t have time to sit down and do a whole Focusing session about it. How can I acknowledge the something without diverting my day to…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #854 – Emotional Wounds of Childhood – “I compare myself negatively to other people”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #854 – Emotional Wounds of Childhood – “I compare myself negatively to other people” What if you know that your painful feelings now are connected to the past? Read on… Gloria writes: Sometimes, at work, and also in other spaces, something in me feels uncomfortable with comparisons with other people, there is a feeling of feeling inferior or feeling less. At the same time there is a part that knows that this comes from childhood, together with the demands of school and…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #853 – Worried and Critical Parts – “When I try to give empathy to a hurting part…”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #853 – Worried and Critical Parts – “When I try to give empathy to a hurting part…” What if you try to give empathy to a hurting part, and you find yourself telling it to change instead? Read on… Sara writes: Recently you wrote that I as Self-in-Presence can give a part empathy. But when I try to give empathy to a hurting part of me, it is coming from some dominating “I know better” place mixed with some sugared contempt. Like…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #852 – Past Trauma and Triggers – “Can I trust the inner message that something can’t be trusted?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #852 – Past Trauma and Triggers – “Can I trust the inner message that something can’t be trusted?” Can you believe the messages you’re receiving from inside? Read on… Adar writes: I wanted to see if you can share with me your thoughts on the difference between my wise inner intuition vs a reactive part. If I sense something is unsafe or that I can’t trust it, is my body telling me something I should pay attention to? Or is it a…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #851 – Self-Care – “I’m not sure I know how to soothe myself.”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #851 – Self-Care – “I’m not sure I know how to soothe myself.” Is there an art — or a skill — to self-soothing? Read on… A Reader writes: People talk about self-soothing, but I’m not sure I even know how to soothe myself. I do comfort other people; in fact, that’s often been my role in life. But when I think about soothing myself, I feel clumsy at it. Inadequate. Dear Reader: What strikes me is that self-soothing is really two…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #850 – Creativity and Confidence – “That part says, ‘Who do you think you are?'”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #850 – Creativity and Confidence – “That part says, ‘Who do you think you are?'” What if something stops you from being creative by saying you’re not as talented as other people? Read on… Helen writes: I love to write. I journal and write poetry. Something inside me doesn’t value this. I think this could be the same part of me who says “who do you think you are?’ when I consider making books of my poetry. I have tried focusing with…
Ann Weiser Cornell- Ann Weiser Cornell
What is the effect of childhood emotional wounds on your life today?
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhat is the effect of childhood emotional wounds on your life today? Parts develop because: 1. Something hard/painful/bad happened. And, 2. You didn’t get the emotional support you needed to heal from it. The absence of what was needed in order to heal is what gives rise to parts… critical parts, rebellious parts, anxious parts, needy parts… And all those parts are trying to protect you the best they can, but they aren’t succeeding. The unhealed hurts we…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #849 – Parts Work – “Is there a terrified part that hides or another part that hides it?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #849 – Parts Work – “Is there a terrified part that hides or another part that hides it?” If you can’t feel a part that you know is there, is that because it’s hiding? Or is something hiding it? Read on… Paul writes: When I can’t feel an emotion – like fear – that I know is there, that is a kind of dissociation, isn’t it? I’ve been assuming that that part is dissociated from my body because it’s so terrified. But…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #848 – Working with Parts – Does your “self” need to be equal to your parts?
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #848 – Parts Work – Does your “self” need to be equal to your parts? How can you strengthen your sense of self so you don’t stay hijacked by your parts? Read on… Roberto writes: I am a relative beginner to Focusing, and am also learning to work with Internal Family System (IFS). I notice that my “Self” is often hijacked by other parts and somatic reactions. I would like to be able to give my “Self” an equal space at the…
Ann Weiser Cornell