Focusing Tip #690 – “My daughter’s angry outbursts are really hard on me.”
-Focusing Tip #690 – “My daughter’s angry outbursts are really hard on me.” Is there someone close to you whose angry outbursts bring up your own emotional triggers? Read on… Renee writes: I have a conflict in my relationship with my grown daughter. She’s a competent young woman but often gets upset with life, shouting angrily and crying. I am torn between a part in me that wants to save her and soothe her and another which is angry at her childish and compulsive…
Focusing Tip #689 – “It feels like all of me, not part of me.”
-Focusing Tip #689 – “It feels like all of me, not part of me.” What can you do when your feelings are so big that you have no observer self? Read on… A Reader writes: I am trying to practice your method of saying “I am sensing something in me…” But what happens when what you are “sensing” is very big? So much so that it feels like all of you rather than part of you? In other words, it is all that is…
Focusing Tip #688 – “My son is developing a tendency to migraines”
-Focusing Tip #688 – “My son is developing a tendency to migraines” If someone you love is developing chronic pain, what is the best way to support them? Read on… Daphna writes: I suspect that my son, just turned 15, is developing a tendency to get migraines. As a person who went through many years of chronic back pain, and who has finally managed to overcome it, I recognize the pattern, but I do not know how to be with it with him. Nor…
Focusing Tip #687 – “I can’t get over my partner’s having kids with another woman.”
-Focusing Tip #687 – “I can’t get over my partner’s having kids with another woman.” If you’re tormented by feelings about your partner’s past and other relationships, what can you do? Read on… Michelle writes: I try so hard to make peace with the fact that my boyfriend experienced having children with another woman before me. I find myself comparing myself to his ex-partner, feeling threatened by his relationship with his kids, feeling (irrationally) angry at him that he had kids before I was…
Focusing Tip #686 – “I’m not at all sure I have a Self-in-Presence”
-Focusing Tip #686 – “I’m not at all sure I have a Self-in-Presence” What can you do if you don’t know what Self-in-Presence is or how to find it? Read on… Jim writes: I’ve done your e-mail series Get Bigger Than What’s Bugging You and practice the techniques regularly. The problem is, I’m not at all sure I have a Self-in-Presence. I’ve never been able to find and identify him. How can I shift so that my Self-in-Presence is in the driver’s seat? Dear…
When You Have Physical Limitations
-Sometimes people ask me if the tips I give about inner peace in challenging times can help even in really tough situations. Such as long-term, serious physical challenges. The kind we’ll probably all face eventually as we get older… but some of us are facing them now. We’re bound to have reactions to these kinds of changes… but it’s what we do with those reactions that really makes a difference to our inner peace. I am in awe…
Focusing Tip #685 – “My aging mother needs me, and I resent her…”
-Focusing Tip #685 – “My aging mother needs me, and I resent her…” How do we find the balance between being there for another person, and giving care to ourselves? Read on… A Reader writes: My question relates to inner criticism: when I feel that I should take care of someone in need in my close circle, but doing it also involves internal difficulty, is that “should” a manifestation of internal criticism? For example, when my aging mother needs caring related to health issues,…
Focusing Tip #684 – “I am feeling my mother’s hopelessness – it’s not mine”
-Focusing Tip #684 – “I am feeling my mother’s hopelessness – it’s not mine” What can you do if the feeling you are experiencing is someone else’s feeling, not your own? Read on… Gudrun writes: When doing Focusing, I find a hopeless feeling that is connected to a really bad situation. But the situation is something that my mother experienced before I was born. I acknowledge the hopeless feeling, that it is really bad and so on, but how do I handle the fact…
