Living a Focusing Life – Ann’s Blog

Focusing Tip #662 – Teaching someone to love themselves What can we do to turn around self-hatred so that we love ourselves instead? Read on… Jennifer writes: I have a client who found a part of him that absolutely hates itself. Do parts hate themselves or is this really a part that hates another part? This client has a huge inner critic and no self love at all. How do you teach or support someone to learn to love themselves? Dear Jennifer: This is…

Focusing Tip #661 – “My needs always come last.” Is it hard to know what you feel and need when you are with other people? Read on… A Reader writes: I appreciate that Focusing let me explore how I feel. That has been really helpful to change some longterm painful issues. My problem is that when I am with other people it is hard to know how I feel. It is much easier to see the needs of others. Like somehow that is all…

Focusing Tip #660 – When you are exhausted because you can’t stop working Are you working so hard that it feels like your life is passing you by? Read on… Marta writes: My problem is that every day I cannot stop working. I always think that what I have done during the day is not enough and therefore I have to work more and more. The result is that I finish the day very tired. And this is from me, it’s not a requirement…

Focusing Tip #658 – Changing unhelpful habits How can you change habits that may have helped you in the past but are no longer helpful? Read on… Swapnil writes: I am curious to know about ways in which Focusing can help me work with some of the habits that I do not want to be associated with anymore as they are not really helpful in my present life. Some of these habits have helped me in the past as strategies to deal with certain…

Focusing Tip #657 – How can we bear the suffering we see? What do you do with feeling helpless about other people’s pain? Read on… Iris writes: Ann, may I ask how you personally deal with witnessing extreme physical and mental suffering of others? In particular, the ones that have no voice (children, animals). It’s beautiful that some of us have the opportunity to embark on the path of healing. But most sentient beings never will have that. I guess I’m asking, how is…

Focusing Tip #656 – Finding richness in our criticisms of other people Do you find yourself stressed by how infuriating other people are? Read on… Jim writes: You’ve written that the sentence to use when we encounter an inner self-critic is, “Might you be worried about something?” Is this the sentence to use when I catch myself criticizing or judging others? Dear Jim: I’m excited to hear that you are getting curious about your judging of other people. People often don’t realize our criticisms…

Focusing Tip #654 – Focusing isn’t talking to your body Do you talk to your body and wonder why that isn’t helping? Read on… A Reader writes: I tried Focusing with my client. She has a chronic pain in her shoulder. I had her tell the shoulder that she is not angry with it. The next week she came back and the pain in the shoulder was worse. She told me, “I don’t like Focusing.” Do you have any suggestions? Dear Michelle: Thank you…