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Self-Acceptance: There Are No Enemies Inside
- by Ann Weiser CornellMost people treat their emotions as objects to be manipulated. You know, “I’m angry. I need to get rid of my anger. I need to change my anxiety. I need to figure out why it’s here and then put something else in its place.” It’s like furniture to move around. But emotions are part of life and they change all the time on their own. In fact, change is what’s natural for your emotions. The odd thing is…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #827 – “Is Focusing self-centered and self-absorbed?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #827 – “Is Focusing self-centered and self-absorbed?” Are you self-centered and self-absorbed if you spend time listening to your feelings? Read on… A Reader writes: I told some of my relatives over the holidays that I am interested in Focusing. One person told me they think things like Focusing are “self-centered and self-absorbed.” I don’t feel that’s true but I can’t articulate why very well. Maybe you can? Dear Reader: I’m happy to give it a try. I know that by doing…
Ann Weiser CornellAccepting Everything You Find Within
- by Ann Weiser CornellAcceptance doesn’t mean giving up on positive change or resigning yourself to “this is just the way I am.” When you fully accept everything you find within yourself, even thoughts and feelings you’d rather push into a deep dark closet, you create powerful opportunities for change. Not because you need to be fixed, but because you can finally be whole. The entire spectrum of your emotions, experiences, and thoughts can be welcomed…by you. You become like the Guest…
Ann Weiser CornellHow you feel when other people say no to you | Setting Healthy Boundaries
- by Ann Weiser CornellDo you wish you could set healthy boundaries without guilt and without hurting your relationships? That can be hard to do. You can learn a lot about why by looking at how you feel when other people say No to you. It might even be that how you feel when someone says No to you is blocking you from being able to say a clear No to others. Can you relate to any of these people? Dawn gets…
Ann Weiser CornellStep by Step: Loving the Unlovable
- by Ann Weiser CornellHave you ever felt unlovable? I’m 15 years old and looking in the mirror. My hair is the wrong color and too short. My nose is too big and the wrong shape. I’m comparing myself to the pretty popular girls at school and I will never be as pretty or as popular as they are. It feels like being locked out in the cold, excluded from everything good. And doomed. “I’m unlovable.” My 15 year old self is…
Ann Weiser CornellSix Benefits of Self Acceptance
- by Ann Weiser CornellA lack of self-acceptance can keep you stuck in nearly every area of your life. It impacts your confidence and…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #826 – “How do I get past the initial resistance?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #826 – “How do I get past the initial resistance?” What if you are inviting someone to pause and feel, and they don’t want to? Read on… Alan asks: I keep returning to your Inner Relationship Focusing, having read Focusing in Clinical Practice. I use this in my coaching work regularly and in my own development. One thing I get curious about, both in myself and the folks I support, is how to get past that initial resistance? What if the invitation…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #825 – “It’s hard to become aware of my parts”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #825 – “It’s hard to become aware of my parts” Do you have a hard time becoming aware of your parts? Read on… A Reader asks: I can only notice that parts are here because I can tell I am not Self-in-Presence. (I.e, I don’t feel empathetic, or I seem to hate other parts, or I seem to do Focusing with the hidden intention to get rid of parts.) But the parts themselves are either hiding, or I’m completely merged with them.…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #824 – “I don’t have time to sense what’s right for me”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #824 – “I don’t have time to sense what’s right for me” Does it feel like you don’t have time to sense what is really right for you? Read on… A Reader asks: I’m just emerging from a time of caring for my mother, and now I can give attention to my own needs. But I have a lot of confusion about what’s right for me. I’m trying to do Focusing to help me sense my way forward, but whenever I try,…
Ann Weiser CornellBoundaries and Families – Can it ever get easier? | Setting Healthy Boundaries
- by Ann Weiser CornellFamilies can be great! But family relationships can also feel like sticky webs of guilt and obligation. I know mine did. It wasn’t until I learned Focusing at age 22 that I began to realize how tangled up my “very nice” family was. In my family growing up, people rarely asked for anything directly, so there was little chance to have a clean conversation about requests. Instead, hints and indirect communication were used to convey “how it was.”…
Ann Weiser Cornell