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March 1 2011 – Tip #269
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"Can there be a 'feeling block' as well as an action block?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Paul writes: "Is there a difference between a block that keeps me from doing something, and a block that keeps me from feeling something? Let me explain about my feeling block: "I notice signs of my being unhappy and sad, but I don't actually feel unhappy and sad. The signs I see are feeling less, kind of deadened inside. My body is more tense (for me lately my lower belly has been in an uproar). "I recently examined my upbringing, and realized that my parents both were very uncomfortable with…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 22 2011 – Tip #268
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"I got so sleepy when Focusing it was almost like being drugged"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emily writes: "A part of me came up this morning which I have met many times before: a very sleepy part. It feels exactly like the scene in Wizard of Oz, where the Wicked Witch of the West makes Dorothy and her companions all sleepy with the field of poppies. I feel almost drugged. Do you have suggestions for dealing with this when focusing alone? When it happens, it is hard to think straight." Dear Emily,In my experience, it's really hard to Focus with sleepiness. So we shouldn't try! There…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 15 2011 – Tip #267
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"Does radical acceptance mean accepting the hurtful actions of others?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carolyn writes: "I don't think this question really comes into the category of a 'focusing tip' but it's perplexing me because it causes doubts in me and affects my ability to trust the process."Increasingly I'm able to ease into Focusing better and reach the stage where something shifts and I feel a bit nearer to gaining some insight, relief and understanding. I've become more able to pay attention to all the parts including those with messages I fear and don't want to hear. Through your examples in The Radical Acceptance of…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 8 2011 – Tip #266
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"Focusing seems to make me feel more vulnerable and open to people"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Anna writes: "I have a question. Maybe you could shed some light on this? :)Focusing seems to make me feel more vulnerable and too open to people."Right after I do Focusing, I end up feeling very open, 'too friendly' to everyone. A bit out of synch with reality. I live in a big city, have a busy office job. But if I takea break to do Focusing, after that I feel at peace with myself, very open and friendly to my colleagues. I start liking everyone around me, and…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 1 2011 – Tip #265
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"I got a huge opening–but how does it relate to my issue?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A reader writes: "This morning I focused with my Focusing partner on my big issue. A huge opening occurred where after many minutes of 'sitting shiva' with profound grief in my chest, my whole body opened up, my breath expanding like a balloon, and I chose to finish the session standing up, to create enough space for all the opening that was happening — wow! So that was great! "My question is, I realized later that I have no idea how that experience concretely relates to the issue I…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 25 2011 – Tip #264
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"I have huge problems in identifying where I am feeling the feeling"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Adie writes: "My big difficulty is that I have huge problems in identifying where I am feeling the feeling, as the feeling tends to feel like it is all of me and I can't isolate one part of the body where I think I can feel it. "An example today was still being on the sickness benefit after two major ops this year, and being turned down for 9 different jobs I have applied for, and just feeling really down about it all."I managed to separate me from…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 18 2011 – Tip #263
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“It feels like I have an ‘upper limiter’ on my income…” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A reader writes: “I’ve been noticing what I think you call a tangle, a really big one, in me. It’s about money, with other stuff all mixed in. There’s a retreat I’d really like to go to. I’m getting little mental ‘youTube’ downloads practically every hour, of attending… yet I have no idea how I will afford it! Somehow I always seem to find a way to pay for things I really want to do, but this is an issue that causes major stress. It is great that…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 11 2011 – Tip #262
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“The body stores memories of the past, and my images are from what I already know.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Karen writes: “I have a question. In my experience of Focusing, bodily sensations link to words, images, emotions that explore and expand an issue. However, I think of the body as the unconscious mind, which stores memories of all that has happened previously. The symbols that emerge from the body I find are within the confines of my belief systems and paradigms, for example, ‘a vortex at the solar plexus, something precious, a jewel’, connects to a system I know about in which…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 4 2011 – Tip #261
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“We are feeling unhappy and discouraged with Focusing” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two of my students who are Focusing partners wrote to me to say they feel they are unhappy and discouraged as Focusers. Both of them got into Focusing because of friends who were loving it and getting great results. But both of them are not getting what they had hoped for. “We wonder what is not going right for us? Could it be that it just is taking us both time to catch on to it in a deeper way? Or it could be that there is something important missing in…
Ann Weiser CornellDecember 28 2010 – Tip #260
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“What if I have trouble feeling in my body?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Reader writes: “First, I love your weekly Focusing tips newsletter and enjoy reading it. I don’t know whether anyone has asked this question yet but I was wondering, what if you have trouble feeling inside your body? I have this trouble. I tried Focusing once with my therapist. All I did was sit there with my eyes closed and try and feel inside my body and I ended up mostly hyperventilating a lot and talking. I do have some very difficult issues and I tend to dissociate a bit.…
Ann Weiser Cornell