- Healthy Boundaries5
- Inner Critic13
- Untangling® Musings7
- Inner Peace for Challenging Times24
- Tips899
- Blog955
- abandonment
- bargaining with parts
- block
- boundaries
- burnout
- challenges
- chronic illness
- compassion
- creativity
- current events
- depressed
- depression
- difficult feelings
- dreams
- eating
- exhaustion
- existential
- family
- fear
- Focusing alone
- forgiveness
- freedom
- goals
- grief
- health
- health challenges
- ifs
- impatience
- inner child
- inner peace
- inner relationship
- intimacy
- meditation
- panic attacks
- parents
- partnership
- possibilities
- procrastination
- rage
- regret
- self-acceptance
- self-care
- self-hate
- shame
- shock
- sleep
- stuck
- treasure maps
- wanting
- work
- October 2023
- September 2023
- August 2023
- July 2023
- June 2023
- May 2023
- April 2023
- March 2023
- February 2023
- January 2023
- December 2022
- November 2022
- October 2022
- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- June 2022
- May 2022
- April 2022
- March 2022
- February 2022
- January 2022
- December 2021
- November 2021
- October 2021
- September 2021
- August 2021
- July 2021
- June 2021
- May 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- November 2020
- October 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- January 2020
- December 2019
- November 2019
- October 2019
- September 2019
July 27 2010 – Tip #239
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“When I’m not ready to say ‘hello’ to a felt sense, I say ‘I hate you.'” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rachel writes: “When I’m not ready to say ‘hello’ to a felt sense, I just say ‘I hate you, you’re so horrid’ or whatever I’m feeling at the moment (which is not always gentle sounding, but it is accepting and loving) and that works pretty well too! Like I’ll say to a felt sense in my middle ‘Why are you doing this to me, I hate you’ or ‘You’re hurting me, you’re punishing me’. It’s not a conversation opener, it’s just a form…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 20 2010 – Tip #238
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I noticed that my Focusing was a lot like a shamanic journey.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Reader writes: “In my Focusing I get LOTS of pictures and images. They are connected to bodily signals and sensations, but I notice that my Focusing proceeds differently than my Focusing partners. Everything seems to happen within the context of pictures, shapes and landscapes. I didn’t think much of it until about a month ago I took a seminar, an introduction to shamanism. A few days after the seminar I had a Focusing session. As it proceeded I noticed that it was a lot like a shamanic journey.…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 13 2010 – Tip #237
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I see hardly any references to feelings that have to do with sexuality.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Reader writes: “I’m a little uncomfortable mentioning this, but there is something I’ve been wondering about throughout my studies of and practice of Focusing. I see hardly any references to sensations or feelings that have to do with sexuality. Are there certain body sensations–like sexual desire, hunger, or itches–that are just too basic to be worked with in Focusing? (In other words, e.g., should one simply eat before the session so one is not distracted by hunger?)” Dear Reader, I notice you said you were…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 6 2010 – Tip #236
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“A part of me is terrified of going unconscious.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In last week’s tip I shared part of an email from a reader wondering if Focusing can ever help with a very difficult area of her life. This week I’ll share the rest of that email, the details of the difficulty, and see if I can help. Our Reader writes: “I can’t seem to ever get myself to bed until I am so exhausted there is no other choice. My days are nights and vice versa. In exploring this I have remembered being smothered by a pillow wielded by my…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 29 2010 – Tip #235
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“There seems to be no forward movement happening.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Reader writes: “I have been focusing on a difficult area of my life for some years now and there seems to be no forward movement happening. I am wondering if there are certain areas or certain types of difficulties that are not amenable to Focusing.” Then she explains her difficult life area, and goes on to say, “Over the years I seem to be developing more and more of a sense of Presence, but it may be that I need to keep on focusing for this to develop more fully.”…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 22 2010 – Tip #234
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Power of Acknowledging the Obvious ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you’re spending time with something you’re feeling, and it’s obvious to you why you’re feeling it, why acknowledge it? If you’re feeling nervous, for example, because you’re giving a presentation and being observed by a teacher, why acknowledge the nervousness? Why do Focusing with it? “Don’t I already know why it’s there?” said one of my students. Ah. Yes, well, there are two assumptions here, and we can challenge both of them. First, don’t be so sure you know what’s causing your feelings. “I know why I’m feeling this” can close down…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #233: Is There a Safe Way to Work with Anger?
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“Is there a safe way to put Focusing attention on huge anger?” A Reader writes: “I was fired from the job I’d had for over 30 years. I’ve suffered a great financial loss, because of the reduction in the pension I’ve worked for all these years. As great a loss as that is, the emotional damage from this action seems far greater and even less manageable. “One place where I falter is when the anger gets so big it seems like it could take over. I’ve sensed a desire to break things, say things I’d regret, throw things, or even…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #232: “Something tells me I’m a bad person.”
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“An inner tyrant wants me to know I am a bad person.” A Reader writes: “I grew up with a very critical mother, so during my childhood I took in an extremely bad self image. Today my life is good in many ways. But on occasion when I Focus on a stressful situation, an image of a well-known tyrant appears, an infamous person. He is behind bars and staring at me, and when, with great difficulty, I acknowledge him and ask him if he has anything that he would like to share with me, he tells me that he wants me…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 1 2010 – Tip #231
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“Irritable Bowel syndrome restricts my freedom and is getting worse.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Reader writes: “My problem is ‘Irritable Bowel Syndrome’ and having to deal with unforeseen and emergency needs to evacuate anytime or anywhere. This problem has been threatening my activities for years, and I’ve tried a lot to lessen the inconvenience and be able to enjoy life, but… “I practice Focusing quite regularly with partners and on my own and I do other methods as well. And of course my eating is under close surveillance, and I also try to get medical advice and supplements to alleviate the condition…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 25 2010 – Tip #230
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“Can it be counterproductive to focus endlessly on a decision?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Reader writes: “I am personally in a very rewarding decision process at the moment. I have been in a long distance relationship for three years, and a couple of months ago I moved to my partner’s home country to test what it felt like to live together for real. I had been struggling over whether I wanted to live with him and I was hoping to get more clarity by just doing it — moving to live with him. “Now I know more. I find I am not…
Ann Weiser Cornell