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December 29 2009 – Tip #209
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"Do we ignore spirit's messages?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roy writes: "I love Focusing, and feel very strongly that a fully embodied presence is key to growth and healing, and that we can trust the wisdom of the body. My question is this: Do we ignore spirit's messages, or more esoteric messages, images or hunches, while we are focusing on the body? Not that there is a separation, but sometimes I just know things, or get an image or a sense of something, but not necessarily from or through the body. I have some psychic training, and I guess I am wondering if there…
Ann Weiser CornellDecember 22 2009 – Tip #208
- by Ann Weiser CornellHoliday Moody Blues and Joys~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had a lovely day this past Sunday with family and dear friends. It was a holiday gathering, with my partner, my nieces and their partners… and I finished the evening feeling warm and relaxed, with a big smile on my face.It hasn't always been like that.There were times when holiday gatherings with family meant falling into confusion, envy, longing, irritation, sadness, anger, the whole gamut… and other people's feelings were hard to deal with too!Remembering that, I also remember what a gift it was to having a Focusing type of self-kindness with me. I…
Ann Weiser CornellDecember 15 2009 – Tip #207
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"What are all those images?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yarden writes: "A woman did a Focusing session with me, and had many images, but, as she said: just images. She said she didn't have feelings, she didn't think about anything, she didn't remember anything. All the images that she saw had no connection to her life, as far as she knew."So, she is asking: what are all those images? She had only images for the whole session, images that were more like seeing a movie, because she didn't feel anything about them. My question is, what to tell her – to continue Focusing, accepting…
Ann Weiser CornellDecember 8 2009 – Tip #206
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"Is there such a thing as too much use of the word 'something'?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ David writes: "I am coming to a good understanding of the power of the word 'something' and its fundamental importance in focusing. But what I am noticing is that once a part has revealed itself, the use of the word 'something' could create confusion or take the focuser away from what has been identified."Is there such a thing as too much use of the word 'something'?" Dear David,I do love the word "something." It has at least two very important uses in Focusing.One is to hold a…
Ann Weiser CornellDecember 1 2009 – Tip #205
- by Ann Weiser CornellThanks to all of you who responded to the "killing the baby" posts. Here is what one of you said: "Thank you so much for the clarification. It is so helpful, because I have this happen a lot. Last night it came to me as a vicious alligator, attacking and killing kittens and children. Then I started to feed it string cheese and pay attention to it, and it started to soften and I could feel how alone it was and afraid and isolated." Isn't that perfect? What starts out as a vicious alligator "killing kittens and children" (aren't kittens…
Ann Weiser CornellNovember 24 2009 – Tip #204
- by Ann Weiser CornellProtecting the person by killing the "baby"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Last week I answered a question about self-destructive thoughts, especially the type where something inside says, "I'm going to kill you!" I shared my guess, based on years of helping with difficult processes, that a part is trying to protect the person by trying to kill off or destroy the "weak," emotional, helpless part. A weak, emotional, helpless part is often experienced as like a baby. So: some part wants to kill the inner baby.I received some emails asking me to clarify this further. I'd be glad to.First: What protects you and strengthens you…
Ann Weiser CornellNovember 17 2009 – Tip #203
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"It was not possible for me to be kind to my self-destructive thoughts"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Nina writes: "Last night I was experiencing several thoughts that were extremely self-destructive: 'I want to kill you and torture you,' and so on. It was not possible for me to be with them kindly at all. I simply did not want them. And I could tell myself that the part that did not want them only was a part – but I was convinced that I was that part. So that became a war, of course." Dear Nina,That sounds like something really difficult to be going through.…
Ann Weiser CornellNovember 10 2009 – Getting Unblocked #35
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"My first psychologist's reaction to my emotions is blocking me now"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Miriam writes: "First I saw a cognitive psychologist and now I see a Focusing psychologist. Whenever I now face some difficult/deep emotion that really needs acceptance, I remember my first psychologist's reactions to my emotions and thoughts as 'unacceptable, bad, irrational' as she tried to help me 'fix' everything. I feel this part of her in me now, which makes it hard to truly feel OK about having a certain feeling, i.e. feeling lazy, feeling sad, etc. What would you recommend?"Dear Miriam,I'm so sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately there's…
Ann Weiser CornellNovember 3 2009 – Tip #202
- by Ann Weiser CornellA Different Way of Being Together~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In 1984 Gene Gendlin wrote an article called "The Politics of Giving Therapy Away." Most of the article is about Focusing and listening training and the Changes group structure that arose in the 70s in Chicago. (You can read the article here.)But at the very end he has a section called "Politics," and he imagines what political and social action groups would be like if we understood that politics is about how we are together."We would attend to how we are together with one another. We would make our organization a space in which each…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 27 2009 – Getting Unblocked #34
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen something unfortunate happens–like an important computer file disappearing–what do you do? Do you panic? Call yourself stupid and worse? Give up? It doesn't have to be that way. Read on…How not to panic and what happens then~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carol, who recently completed our course "Radical Gentleness," wanted to share this story:"A couple of days ago I was dutifully updating a copy of the article I was writing, from my flash drive to my computer, and somehow it disappeared. In the past this would have sent me into sheer panic mode… then it would have become intense self criticism, and then a…
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