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July 28 2009 – Tip #196
- by Ann Weiser CornellHow does "Self-in-Presence" of Inner Relationship Focusing compare with "Big Mind" or "Compassionate Heart" of meditation practice? Read on…"It seems that Focusing language is a way to disidentify with the form…"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Gary writes: "As a relative newbie both in Focusing as well as in formal sitting meditation practice, I wonder about the overlapping between the two skills/disciplines/techniques. Most meditation teachers make a point of dealing with distractions (thoughts/feelings) by simply acknowledging their emergence in our awareness and then let them go without clinging either through attraction or avoidance. Some use the metaphor of surface activity on a lake versus the quiet…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 21 2009 – Getting Unblocked #28
- by Ann Weiser CornellDoes it ever feel like your criticisms of others have something to do with your own blocks? Read on…Criticizing Another Person~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Eli writes: "When I sense internal anger, many times I do not find two internal 'parts' (one angry at the other), but an angry part criticizing another person. How should I work with that part?"Dear EliWhen we start bringing awareness to a block inside us, it could indeed happen that we find a part of us that's angry at another person. After all, someone must be to blame! *smile*So we'll start in the same way as ever, with the very…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 14 2009 – Tip #195
- by Ann Weiser CornellDid you ever have the experience of having to stop Focusing when it's unfinished? You might say that you'll get back to it later — but what if it doesn't trust you to do that? Read on…"It takes a while to get there and then it's time to stop…"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cathy writes: "Often in my Focusing sessions with my companions, the time runs out just as I am starting to get to the core of something significant. I usually will close with mentally marking that spot and assuring the part that still needs to be listened to or explored that I will…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 7 2009 – Getting Unblocked #27
- by Ann Weiser CornellWatching TV, playing computer games… Where did my will and attention go? Read on…The Inner Escaper~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Last time I talked about the Inner Rebel. There's another typical way we respond to pressure — by escaping. Sometimes we watch TV or play computer games for fun. Just pure entertainment and pleasure. But sometimes we find ourselves engaging in those activities with a very different feeling, a sense of "getting out from under" something we really "ought" to be doing. And then it's not as much fun, truthfully. In fact it feels more like being caught up in something that "I" can't seem…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 30 2009 – Tip #194
- by Ann Weiser CornellDid you ever start Focusing on one topic, only to discover that your body has something else "in mind"? What do you do then? Read on…"I plan to start with a big issue but something else comes up…"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joan writes: "Very often, when I do Focusing, I start with a Big Issue — something really important to me. And then, after I do the leading in, and sense into my body, something else comes up. Often the Big Issue is a Major Life Question, and thesomething that comes up is something more specific and immediate — like should I buy that…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 23 2009 – Getting Unblocked #26
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Inner Rebel~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I hate being told what to do. When someone says, "Do that," suddenly that is the last thing I want to do. I start wanting to rebel, duck out, goof off.And none of my inner parts like being told what to do, either! Which is why it's a recipe for trouble when one part of me decides to be the boss and order the other parts around. "Don't eat that." (I'm sure to eat it!) "Time to go to the gym." (Time for a nap instead…)If you're like me, perhaps you even get identified with that inner rebel.…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 16 2009 – Tip #193
- by Ann Weiser CornellI spent the weekend watching six of my advanced students guide six beginners through their first Focusing session. When I watch beginning sessions, I'm especially impressed by the importance of contact in Focusing. Do you agree? Do you know what I mean? Read on…The Power of Contact~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Often the difference between whether a Focusing process works, or not, is whether the Focuser has a certain quality of contact with his or her inner process.Those who get into this contact easily can find themselves taking it for granted. Then when it is their turn to help someone else find Focusing, they can…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 9 2009 – Getting Unblocked #25
- by Ann Weiser CornellDo you find yourself locked into stuckness that won't change? I'd like to tell you about the power of a very special word–the word "something." Read on… My $100,000 word~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~What's the trouble? What feels stuck?However you are describing the problem, I bet you'll feel a significant shift if you disidentify from the parts of you locked in the struggle.Disidentifying feels like stepping back but still being connected–and you can do it with the help of my favorite word — "something."I like to call "something" my $100,000 word — because I wouldn't sell it for $100,000. That's how much I love…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 2 2009 – Tip #192
- by Ann Weiser CornellThis week's question comes from Nass, who describes himself as a beginner. He wondered if the question might be a bit 'stupid'. I don't think so, do you? Read on…"What if I don't want to say everything to my Companion?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Nass writes: "What if I don't want to say everything to my Companion? Does it hamper Focusing?"Dear Nass,Great question! This is an opportunity to look at the process of Focusing partnership.When you're Focusing with another person (we call that person the "Companion" because they keep you company), there is always more going in on you than you can say.You can't say…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 26 2009 – Getting Unblocked #24
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"How can I get myself to change?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I've heard that question countless times… most often from myself!It comes as a cry of frustration: "My life isn't right! Things have to be different! I know I'm the problem. I'm in my own way. How can I get myself to change?"What we don't realize is that the very way we are speaking about the problem is in the way of solving it. Our language and our concepts are tangling up our actions. No wonder nothing changes!Saying "How can I get myself to change?" is like trying to move a rug while standing on…
Ann Weiser Cornell