- Healthy Boundaries5
- Inner Critic13
- Untangling® Musings7
- Inner Peace for Challenging Times24
- Tips899
- Blog955
- abandonment
- bargaining with parts
- block
- boundaries
- burnout
- challenges
- chronic illness
- compassion
- creativity
- current events
- depressed
- depression
- difficult feelings
- dreams
- eating
- exhaustion
- existential
- family
- fear
- Focusing alone
- forgiveness
- freedom
- goals
- grief
- health
- health challenges
- ifs
- impatience
- inner child
- inner peace
- inner relationship
- intimacy
- meditation
- panic attacks
- parents
- partnership
- possibilities
- procrastination
- rage
- regret
- self-acceptance
- self-care
- self-hate
- shame
- shock
- sleep
- stuck
- treasure maps
- wanting
- work
- October 2023
- September 2023
- August 2023
- July 2023
- June 2023
- May 2023
- April 2023
- March 2023
- February 2023
- January 2023
- December 2022
- November 2022
- October 2022
- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- June 2022
- May 2022
- April 2022
- March 2022
- February 2022
- January 2022
- December 2021
- November 2021
- October 2021
- September 2021
- August 2021
- July 2021
- June 2021
- May 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- November 2020
- October 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- January 2020
- December 2019
- November 2019
- October 2019
- September 2019
August 5 2008 #171
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"It asks me, why am I terrified of it?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jodi writes: "I have a Focusing question that I do not know if you have addressed previously. When focusing alone, I've been looking at an idea/question and what comes up is this great big feeling of tiredness. I get a felt sense of that in my body and experience it as a folding motion into myself. So i say hello to it. It feels surprised that I would want to say to hello to it because it knows that I don't like it." Ann: Could I comment right there, Jodi?…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 29 2008 • Getting Unblocked #3
- by Ann Weiser CornellSomething that Pushes and Something that Resists ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you're not doing what you want to do, or you're not comfortable with how long it's taking, you might need to to acknowledge two interesting parts inside you: something that pushes and something that resists. Something in you that pushes is often a part of you that is anxious or eager for the action to get done. It could be critical, harsh, and blaming, calling you "lazy" or worse… or it could be reasonable, practical, helpful, offering ideas like: "Just get up earlier in the morning!" As time goes by and…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 22 2008 #170
- by Ann Weiser CornellIs What Part of Me Wants Already in Me? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jennifer asks, "If I'm listening to a part of me, and it wants something, is that thing it wants already part of me? Sometimes I can feel that what one part wants, another part has." Dear Jennifer, The phrase "already there" is such an interesting phrase when it comes to the Philosophy of the Implicit, which is the philosophy behind Focusing. Because the answer is… yes, and no. Before I explain that enigmatic answer, let me say something more about Wanting. It's great that you're listening to what a part…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 15 2008 • Getting Unblocked #2
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhy It Doesn't Feel Right to Do It ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When action is blocked, there is some good reason, to some part of you, why it doesn't feel right to do it. Yesterday I was Focusing on a section in some writing I'm doing. All the other sections are flowing well… except that one. Every time I open that file, I feel overwhelmed and go to something else. Finally it's become the last thing in the way of finishing the writing. In my Focusing, I found the part of me that's been getting overwhelmed. It showed me the dilemma: "If I…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 8 2008 #169
- by Ann Weiser CornellCan I Push Myself into Too Much Focusing? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A reader asks: "This is another question related to Focusing and healing from trauma. Is it possible to push one's self too hard and too fast in working with Focusing? I am now working with a focusing oriented therapist twice a month, and I find that attempting to maintain a separate Focusing partnership, involve myself in the Focusing community, or even keep up an individual Focusing/ journaling practice meets with tremendous internal resistance. The therapy seems to be all I can manage for now." Dear Reader, Yes! Absolutely it is possible…
Ann Weiser CornellJuly 1 2008 • Getting Unblocked #1
- by Ann Weiser CornellThings are changing! Weekly Tips has become Biweekly Tips… On the alternate weeks, I'll be writing on Getting Unblocked… the special application of Focusing to any area of your life that feels stuck, blocked, or otherwise difficult to change. Letting the Part Say What it Needs ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On my wall calendar, there are little shiny stars on about half of the days. I smile when I see them. They are the visible result of an ongoing process of listening to parts of me, and letting them say what they need. It all started when I was working with my block…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 24 2008 #168
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen It Feels Right But It’s Wrong ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A reader writes: “I agreed to take on a new project. I focused on it, and it really felt right in my body–and then I overstressed myself. I was so sure that this project was the right thing to do and that I could handle all the things about it. But it really was too much. “Now I can see that when I agreed to the project I was identified with the eager part of me, the part that wants things to happen fast and wants to do the ‘right’ thing. This…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 17 2008 #167
- by Ann Weiser CornellLast week we wrote about nagging thoughts. Dana Ganihar had a further clarification: “I want to respond to something that is VERY obvious…but nevertheless: There is a difference between saying hello to nagging thoughts or feelings and between inviting a felt sense to form regarding those thoughts or feelings. It’s the same thing when we are companions: when I feel, for example, impatience, ‘just’ acknowledging it is not enough, I want to invite the felt sense to form, and this is what enables me to stay in Presence. It’s a subtle distinction, but I’ve realized it needs to be emphasized.”…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 10 2008 #166
- by Ann Weiser CornellNagging Thoughts When You're Not Focusing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kim writes, "Thoughts and feelings run through me while I'm in my car, taking out the garbage, or doing the dishes. Especially when there's something really nagging me, I say hello and let it know I know it's there. Other times, I sit down and take a little time with it. But what I find is I don't get any kind of sustained relief from these on-the-spot Focusing moments like I do in partnership Focusing." Dear Kim, You're pointing to the difference between Focusing "in the midst of life" and Focusing in a…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 3 2008 #165
- by Ann Weiser CornellDoes a Felt Sense Have an Opposite? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jennifer asks: "I'm wondering if every felt sense always has a corresponding opposite, separate from Presence. So, for example, if I'm sensing sadness, does that mean there must be a part of me that is not sensing sadness? And is that opposite part, by definition, sensing joy (albeit in a quiet way)?" Dear Jennifer, What an interesting question! I'm going to answer "No," and for a very intriguing reason: Because a felt sense cannot have an opposite!So in your example — "joy" opposed to "sadness" — those are not felt senses. A…
Ann Weiser Cornell