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Focusing Tip #816 – “Can I write a letter to my worried part?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #812 – “Can I write a letter to my worried part?” When you have a worried part, how can you tell it that you have heard its worries? Read on… AJ writes: Yesterday before sleep I had an unusual (for me) “attack” by the inner critic, or something in me that worries. Today I wrote down all the worries that came to my mind yesterday. Then I wrote an answer — a letter to my inner critic/inner worrier. I acknowledged its feelings,…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #815 – “I have a part that’s angry and a part angry at that part”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #815 – “I have a part that’s angry and a part angry at that part” Angry parts, parts angry at the angry parts, what do you do with them all? Read on… Cori writes: I have something in me that’s very angry. I don’t know how to accept it. There is something in me wants to push the anger away. Something in me is sick of the anger. Something in me wants to know about the anger but gets no answer and…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #814 – “Do I speak up or say nothing?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #814 – “Do I speak up or say nothing?” How do you decide? Read on… Chantall writes: How do you handle the annoyance of an upstairs neighbor who walks too loud? I can say: I am noticing something in me that is annoyed with his heavy walking and I say hello to that. But then, what do I do? Put up with it or tell him? Dear Chantall: I’m sorry you’re having to go through that. And I can tell you want…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #813 – How do I stop doing my unhealthy habit?
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #813 – How do I stop doing my unhealthy habit? If you wish you didn’t indulge so much, what can you do when it happens? Read on… A Reader writes: Last week you responded to a person who asked about self-sabotage, and you talked about somebody who got hijacked into eating late at night. That really sounds like me. But I can’t say “I’m sensing something in me that wants to eat.” I’m already eating by that time. What can I do…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #812 – “I’m still engaging in self-sabotage”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #812 – “I’m still engaging in self-sabotage” What if understanding that your parts are protecting you hasn’t helped you change? Read on… A Reader writes: I have been doing IFS for about 2 months and I feel like I have a very good understanding of my parts and how they are working to protect me from trauma I have experienced, particularly around food, weight and appearance. However I still have not experienced a shift. I am still engaging in self sabotage and…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #811 – “There are no enemies inside.”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #811 – “There are no enemies inside.” What is Inner Relationship Focusing and where did it come from? Read on… Dear Reader: Fifty years ago, in the fall of 1972, I met Eugene Gendlin and began a lifelong practice of Focusing. At that time, I was so unaware of my feelings that it was easier for me to tell how other people felt than how I felt. Not surprisingly, my emotional life was a mess. I was filled with impulses, longings, addictions,…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #810 – “This part seems to hate me”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #810 – “This part seems to hate me” What can you do if a part of you attacks you viciously for making a mistake? Read on… A Reader writes: A part of me is convinced that I am a worthless person. I’ve heard you say that all our parts are on our side, but this one seems to hate me. If I make a mistake, like in a relationship with someone, this part blames me for ruining everything because I’m such a…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #809 – Who is the “you” who can say Hello to your parts?
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #809 – Who is the “you” who can say Hello to your parts? Who is the “you” who can say Hello to your parts? Read on… Jeff writes: Thank you for Tip #808! It’s REALLY helpful to be reminded that the part that’s scared, stuck, or resisting “doesn’t have to change”! For me it sounds like real compassion in action. I have a question though. You said “parts do not need to act. … You are the one who, once healing happens,…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #808 – When a part doesn’t get moving even after being heard
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #808 – When a part doesn’t get moving even after being heard Is it over-indulgence to keep listening to a part that never seems to move? Read on… A Reader writes: Can we reach a point that we over-indulge a part that never seems to move? I think of this like a child who refuses to go to school. The mother listens, cares, understands the child’s fear and anything else the child relates. She really holds a space for her. But then…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #807 – “I wish I could let my feelings go and get on with life.”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #807 – “I wish I could let my feelings go and get on with life.” What can you do with strong feelings that seem to be in your way? Read on… Helen writes: I get strong feelings that don’t go away easily. I sometimes think I am the only one who feels like this… when of course I know I’m not. I wish I could like to learn to hold my feelings separate from me and value them, and then let them…
Ann Weiser Cornell