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October 23 2007 #134
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing with Intense Pain ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Su writes: "I am interested in information on Focusing with intense pain – like the other week when I had a fever, or when I have cramps. It’s often really difficult to even just open a space to allow the pain to be in, let alone focus on it and have a dialogue with it. Yet I know it needs to tell me something otherwise it wouldn’t be happening." Dear Su I love it when pain is intense! I know that might sound like a crazy statement… but for me, intense pain is so simple:…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 16 2007 #133
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing When You Already Feel Good ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pat writes: "More and more, when I sit down to focus with myself or with my Focusing partner, I find that I’m feeling very good, and free of the issues and feelings that used to hook me. Some little part of myself always pops up and says: "That’s rubbish – of course you have issues." But then a larger part of me says "Yes, and it’s OK," and I can then gently lift myself down off that hook too. Your word "Presence" comes to mind, as more and more I feel connected to…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 9 2007 #132
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Inner Child and Focusing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Someone writes: "When some Focusing writers talk about ‘inner child’ issues they say there is no need to offer help or reassurance, and the only thing you have to do is give this part compassionate attention. I wonder about this because I’ve gotten such good responses from inviting clients to give help to ‘inner children’. Can you say more about this?" When we’re Focusing, some parts or aspects of us can appear like children. (They can also appear like animals of all sorts, rocks, walls, doors… many possibilities!) When a part of us appears…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 2 2007 #131
- by Ann Weiser CornellBefore I get into today’s tip, I wanted to add to last week’s discussion of non-dualistic Buddhist meditation teachers. I realized that the teacher who resonates most with me is someone I know well: the remarkable Russell Delman, who integrates Zen-based meditation with the teachings of Moshe Feldenkrais and what he calls Guided Inquiry. And he has studied with me a lot, so I know he knows Focusing well! I recommend his lovely website, www.russelldelman.com. "I feel awkward saying Hello to something I know is me."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mary Love writes: "Sometimes clients who are new to Focusing or even my sister…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 25 2007 #130
- by Ann Weiser CornellDoes meditation exile part of us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ruth writes, "One question was around the connections between Focusing and Buddhism, and meditation in particular. My dharma friend has gotten very interested in Focusing, and we talked about whether meditation is strengthening one part/exiling another, or whether it strengthens our capacity to be in Presence. We mostly decided on the latter, and would be interested to know what you think." Dear Ruth, Let me repeat the question, and I hope I’ve understood it correctly. You’re asking whether the process of meditation, for example Buddhist meditation, is a process of coming more into…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 18 2007 #129
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhat About Feelings in the Face and Neck? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Paul asks, "I understood that for Focusing and finding a handle you should especially give attention to the middle of the body. What about the face? When I’m Focusing I may feel my mouth and eyes which feel a little sad and vulnerable as if looking at a world where something painful can happen. Then I feel something in the shoulders and the neck as a wanting to hide myself perhaps." Dear Paul, Yes, of course, all that is welcome, the face, the mouth and eyes, the shoulders and neck. Of…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 11 2007 #128
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhy It’s Important to Feel the Whole Thing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin writes: "When you (and Gendlin) write about ‘feeling all that, the whole feeling sense of the situation’, I find myself confused and intimidated. For me, it feels too big to concentrate on everything about a situation. Am I just to get a general sort of aura-like feel? Is that what is meant? The words ‘all’ and ‘whole’ I think are what intimidate me. Is there some other way of explaining this?" Dear Justin, I can hear that the words ‘all’ and ‘whole’ make this felt-sensing seem like a mysterious process.…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 4 2007 #127
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen Something Won't Move ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Johanna writes: "I have a question for you which I can hope you can answer. "I really don't like my job. I want to quit… a big something in me really wants to quit. I am so ready to take three months and discover what is next… and then the brakes get put on and another part will not let me quit. "It is a good job," "I will not have any money"…etc. It is a big black boulder that will NOT move. I have listened and acknowledged the various parts and just recently acknowledged…
Ann Weiser CornellAugust 28 2007 #126
- by Ann Weiser CornellBefore I get into this week’s topic I’ve got some feedback on a past issue to pass along: Catherine writes: "It’s always a treat to get your Focusing tips, and this one (#123) especially resonated with me. I’d just discovered for myself that "how the whole thing is right now might not be at all the same as what has been chasing you around all day." A really major emotional upheaval had come up–a deeply buried horror from childhood–and I was so freaked out that I was actually starting to hyperventilate. In theory, Focusing seemed to be the thing to…
Ann Weiser CornellAugust 21 2007 #125
- by Ann Weiser CornellBefore I get into this week’s topic I want to reassure those of my readers who’ve gotten into a bit of a flurry the last few weeks, wondering if my emphasis on the felt sense being a wholistic sense means that they are not really Focusing. I am not here to take away what is working for you! If your Focusing process is bringing you gifts of ease, comfort, self-compassion, and change, or any of the above, by all means, do not worry about definitions. You are doing fine. My only intention is to give hope to the people who…
Ann Weiser Cornell