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June 5 2007 #114
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing with "Psychosomatic" Illness ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cobi writes: "Can Focusing be used to heal from psychosomatic illnesses? If so, how would I go about doing it?" Dear Cobi, Often people don’t know whether or how much of the symptoms they are experiencing are emotionally based, and how much physically based. It’s a good thing we don’t have to know the answer to whether an illness IS psychosomatic or not, in order to be with it in a Focusing way. Focusing can be used to help with ANY kind of illness, not just those categorized as psychosomatic. There are two main approaches…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 29 2007 #113
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"It seems there is not enough time." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gisela writes: "I can be in a good contact with myself (and others) when there is no stress. But when there are too many people making demands, everybody wants something and it seems that there is not enough time, so I feel like a stone skipping over water, and then I lose the contact with myself too." Dear Gisela, I’m sure you’re not the only one with this issue! It often seems that when we need Focusing the most, those are the times when it is hardest to give it to ourselves.…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 22 2007 #112
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Relationship between Presence and the Felt Sense ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Laura writes: "Would you describe the relationship between the self in presence and the felt senses or ‘somethings,’ in the process of a focusing session." Dear Laura, Let’s start by affirming that this relationship you’re pointing to is crucial. In Focusing, I am with my felt experience. So there is me, my self, and there is my felt experience, in my awareness. Eugene Gendlin writes about this eloquently in his book Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy, page 21: "As one comes to have a … there comes to be a difference between oneself…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 15 2007 #111
- by Ann Weiser CornellFeelings We Don’t Know the Reason For ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wendy writes: "My question is about when we have feelings that we don’t know the reason for or connection with a particular situation. If I’m aware of being angry with my partner about something for instance it’s more straightforward. However I am working a lot at present with ones that I can’t immediately connect with a specific incident, sort of underlying ones. I may be aware all day of a particular feeling sense not far under the surface – like grief or rage or a sort of slight anxiety. This is not…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 8 2007 – #110
- by Ann Weiser Cornell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"is that the felt sense?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Someone wrote: "I have been focusing on myown for over 12 months. I have read the bookonly. Is the felt sense the same as if Irecall a pleasant memory and feel that’tingle’ in my body? I then recall anunpleasant memory and the sense isuncomfortable. Is that the felt sense?"I feel a lot of sympathy for people who tryto learn Focusing from a book, even though Iwrote one of them! It’s SO much easier whenthere is someone sitting with you saying,"There… that’s it…"Yes, an uncomfortable feeling when you recallsomething unpleasant is probably a feltsense, or the start…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 1 2007 – #109
- by Ann Weiser Cornell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"What if I want to kill this person?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Manju writes: "I was talking about listeningto our feelings, and someone asked me…’what if i want to kill this person?’ I toldher about the difference between acceptancein the inner world and acting on things, andI suggested really welcoming and listening tothe something that wanted to do that. Shetold me she tried that but it did not change- the feeling/desire/part that wants to takerevenge just stays with her… Of course sheisn’t about to really do it but I wonder howFocusing can bring a sense of change for her."Dear Manju,Such an interesting example! It brings…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 24 2007 – #108
- by Ann Weiser Cornell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Does Being With an Experience Naturally Bring Change?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Becky writes: In "Focusing-OrientedPsychotherapy," Gendlin says that repetitive,unchanging feelings, or "dead-end" feelings,"arise and remain unchanged most commonlybecause they seem quite clear and final;there is no murky edge to them that asks tobe explored" (p. 12). My question has to dowith how the quality oraction of "being with" (rather than "beingin") relates to the above. Is it possible tobe in a state of "being with" an experienceand still not be touching a murky edge? Or,will "being with" an experience (even ifit’s one of those dead-end feelings)naturally lead to a murky edge?Dear Becky,I appreciate your…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 17 2007 – #107
- by Ann Weiser Cornell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sharing Focusing with People in My Daily Life~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Nina Joy writes: "My burning question aboutFocusing right now has to do with sharing itwith people in my daily life who don’tparticularly want to learn a new thingformally, and may not be interested inFocusing. I’d like to find ways to invite myfamily and friends to sense into something,without using regular Focusing terminology,without pressing anything on them, justgently inviting them in everyday language. I’d like to do this with any age person, frommy grandson at 6 to my father in law at 90and have it feel like a natural part of lifethey can choose…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 10 2007 – #106
- by Ann Weiser Cornell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Spiritual Path of Focusing~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Nelle writes: "I am wondering if you feelcomfortable speaking to the spiritual path ofFocusing. You indicated that you hadexperienced a kind of enlightenment throughFocusing, and I would say the same thing."Dear Nelle,Thank you for asking…and also for checking if I feel comfortabletalking about this! I’ll start byacknowledging that, over the years, I’vebecome less and less certain what"spirituality" is. Whatever this dimensionis, it seems deeply personal, and I wouldn’twant whatever I say to impinge on anyoneelse’s territory.After all that is said, though, there issomething I feel ready to say about the(possible) spiritual path of Focusing. To doso,…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 3 2007 – #105
- by Ann Weiser Cornell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Relational Differences Between Focusing Partner and Therapist~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Laura asks, "Would you describe thedifferences in the psychotherapeuticrelationship and the relationship between thefocuser and companion."Dear Laura,As you know, Focusing is a process that canbe taught to people, that can be done byone’s self or with a Focusing partner… andit is also a process that enhancespsychotherapy. Therapists can learn tosupport their clients to do more Focusingduring therapy, thus enhancing their processof change in a life-enhancing direction.You’re asking about the differences betweenthe Focuser and Companion relationship–whenwe trade Focusing sessions with a friend–andthe client and therapist relationship.Of course, there are many. In Focusingpartnership, we trade, first…
Ann Weiser Cornell