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October 31 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellSince it’s Hallowe’en, let’s talk about scariness, fear, and Focusing. What Does “It’s Scary” Mean? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I never understood why skeletons are supposed to be scary. Maybe it’s because my father was a science teacher, and there was a nice friendly skeleton in a glass case in his classroom, I didn’t understand why people brought out paper skeletons at Hallowe’en, and found them scary. Black cats? Also not scary. Ghosts? Well, what is a ghost supposed to be able to do to you? It can’t touch you, can it? These were the thoughts of the ten-year-old me, growing up in…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 24 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellI have just finished a two-day workshop in the lovely northern Japanese region of Hokkaido, where the trees are glorious colors and there is a nippy taste of snow in the air… and the people are very friendly and nice. At the question and answer period at the end of the workshop, one participant asked me to describe my overall “message.” To the best of my memory, this is what came in response. Nothing Inside You Wants to Hurt You ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are no enemies inside us. All our parts are on our side. Even the ones that seem not…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 17 2006
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“That struggle is exhausting!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alberta writes: “How do I access the voice and point of view of a ‘something’ when it is especially intense, frightening or judged to be ‘bad’? (e.g. rage, cynicism, self pity…) How do I listen to its voice–give it full Presence–without ‘feeding’ it. It’s the fear of becoming identified with it, or overwhelmed by it (i.e. acting FROM it or getting ‘stuck in it’) that prevents my wanting to fully ‘go there’ to hear it out, yet this is what perpetuates avoidance, pushing it away and the struggle to keep it under control. That struggle…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 10 2006
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I have a hard time staying on track…” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heidi writes: “My question is about focusing alone. I have a hard time staying on track and, well, focused. What usually brings me to focusing is a sense of ‘something wrong’. It’s hard for me to get to the point where I feel there is a shift because it all feels quite vague and nebulous and I wonder if I’m making things up and if I’m really moving.” Yes, well, I think focusing alone IS hard. I think it’s worth doing what it takes to find and work with a Focusing…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 3 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellAnd then the pain went away… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It happened when Barbara McGavin and I were teaching Treasure Maps to the Soul in Italy a month ago, at the lovely Castello di Spannocchia in Tuscany. When I teach I like to stand up… and sit down again… and then stand up… and so on. And I had bare feet — it was a warm day — and I was using my foot to pull my chair under me to sit again. And then it happened. OH! In the moment I realized the chair leg was ON my foot, the weight of…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 26 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen Something is Hiding ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Miriam writes: “I am wanting to get deeper in touch with a hidden or locked, unknown place inside me. I sense that it may be an event or experience that was so traumatic for me at some time, that it felt it was best for me not to know about it. It feels like getting in touch with this deep, hidden, blocked, closed off place is very important to my growth through Focusing. “My burning question is – how, through the Focusing process can I gain access to this hidden part, which I believe holds…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 19 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing with Specific Issues ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Colin writes: “I would be grateful for more specific advice on using Focusing with specific issues. In other words, rather than clearing space to sense what’s there, deliberately introducing an issue into that space and then waiting on a response – a bit like throwing a stone into a still pond and reading the runes of the ripples caused!” Dear Colin: I don’t do clearing space, but I still know what you mean. There’s a way of starting Focusing by being open to whatever arises, and that’s a lovely way to start. But if you…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 12 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen We Want Change Too Much ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lisa from California asks: What do I do with my own impatience with the process, let alone my client’s desire for change to happen? I want to see movement and action as much as my client… and I find myself thinking: “what if they don’t get anything from this.” Trusting that Focusing “works” is perhaps something that needs to grow with time. Your own Focusing process is key here. When you sit across from a client who is yearning for change to happen and wondering if “just being with it” is enough, your…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 5 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellMore About Using Focusing in Group Settings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last time we talked about starting a group with a Focusing “attunement,” and how that helps people get started listening to themselves, and helps them be more open to listening to others as well. How use might we use Focusing in a group setting, especially a therapeutic group? (All groups can benefit from Focusing, including groups convened to do a work project together… and we will get to that in a future newsletter.) Therapeutic groups usually follow a format of individuals taking turns to receive the attention of the group leader. When…
Ann Weiser CornellAug 29 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellHow Can We Use Focusing in Group Settings? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elizabeth of Ontario writes: “I would like to hear about how Focusing can be used in a group setting. How can Focusing effectively reach individuals as they interact in a therapeutic group?” Elizabeth was one of several people who asked this interesting question. The first thing you can do to bring Focusing into groups is to guide the whole group in a Focusing “attunement” at the start of your group session. This makes a space for each person to quietly sense how he or she is feeling at this moment. It…
Ann Weiser Cornell