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June 13 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Language of Opening and Flowing This past weekend I did a workshop in “The Art of Facilitative Language.” In many ways that’s my favorite topic because it brings together two of my most loved areas: Focusing and linguistics. I’ve been studying linguistics even longer than I’ve been studying Focusing. But this is something we never covered in grad school: Language can open process. Language can be facilitative; language can open doors inside. Of course it isn’t language ALONE that opens doors. Words spoken by rote, without heart and presence, do nothing. But with the right intention and the wrong…
Ann Weiser CornellJune 6 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellSay “Yes” to What Comes I just spent the past weekend with three of my advanced students learning about taking a person through their first Focusing session. One of the maxims we used over and over again was “Say Yes to What Comes.” It’s something to bear in mind whether we’re very experienced with Focusing or very new. As we’re learning a new skill it’s natural to be wondering: Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing? Is this right? With Focusing, there’s an easy answer: Yes. What you’re doing IS what you’re supposed to be doing. Wherever you…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 30 2006
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I Don’t Like This Feeling!” Focusing is a process of awareness. We become aware… and perhaps become aware of feelings, emotions, and sensations that we had not been aware of before. Unfortunately, with awareness often comes evaluation. We have a deeply ingrained habit of evaluating what we are aware of. “I like it.” “I don’t like it.” “It’s good.” “It’s bad.” If you’ve just seen a movie with a friend, perhaps evaluation makes sense. “I sort of liked it” opens up a discussion that could lead to getting to know each other better — and to decisions about whether to…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 23 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellDistractions Are Us At the start of a Focusing session, I like to take some time to sense my body. It’s not the only way to start, but it’s my favorite way, because otherwise I’m just barreling down my usual track, thinking thinking thinking! Taking time to sense my arms and hands, legs and feet, the contact of my body on what I’m sitting on… allows a shift of state, into a slower, quieter, more receptive relationship with my inner experience. So when I’m slowing down and sensing into my body, and thoughts show up and pull me back to…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 16 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellThis Week’s Tip is From Afghanistan One of my most thrilling experiences of the Focusing International Conference in the Netherlands was hearing Pat Omidian, Nina Joy Lawrence, and Jerry Conway talk about their work teaching Focusing in Afghanistan. Over 15,000 people — that’s right, fifteen thousand! — have had at least some introduction to Focusing. And over 2500 people have had a Path to Lasting Change, Part One weekend! As you might imagine, Afghanistan is full of people who’ve survived trauma and loss. Without something like Focusing, such stresses can contribute to domestic violence, suicide, and more loss. Here are…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 9 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellNo, you didn’t miss one! I did have to skip a week when I was in Europe, away from broadband. And I had such a good time teaching in Hamburg and at the International Focusing Conference in the Netherlands! The Difference One Session Makes Many of you are reading these Weekly Tips because you’ve taken some Focusing training and you want tips to keep your practice going. Others are subscribing to find out about Focusing. I welcome both kinds of subscribers. Today, I have a message for both of you: There’s no substitute for actually Focusing! I’m telling you this…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 25 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellI’m Being With It… Now What? I wrote last week about the situation in Focusing where “nothing” is happening: You found a felt sense, you described it, and now you’re sitting with it. Is something else supposed to happen? Last week I spoke about the possibility that “nothing” is happening because “it” doesn’t feel safe. But as I teach Focusing I’ve seen another kind of “nothing.” That’s when the Focuser doesn’t understand what kind of process this “being with” is. It’s not just passive waiting, like sitting with a person in a coma hoping they’ll wake up. “Being with” includes…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 18 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen “Nothing” is Happening… There are two places in Focusing where people have difficulty with “nothing.” The first is at the beginning–“Nothing is here. I feel nothing.” That one is not the subject of this newsletter, though it’s an interesting topic that I’ve written about before and will again. This newsletter is about the second “nothing,” the one that can come after you are in contact with a felt sense. Here it is, you can feel it, you’ve named it… now what? It’s sitting there like a lump! How long are you supposed to be with it? This is an…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 10 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellI’m in Pain — Now What? “I am in pain… and I am trying not to be.” Readers of my new book The Radical Acceptance of Everything will probably recognize those words as the first line of my article, “I Am in Pain.” In that article I use my own inner struggle in a time of despair and confusion, to point to a subtle but powerful truth: that when we are in pain, we are often identified with the part of us that is trying not to be. Of course! Who wants pain? I’m starting to believe that the label…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 4 2006
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I Know I Don’t Need That, I Can Let It Go” Recently I redecorated my bedroom. I was able to go through piles of old clothes and other accumulated stuff, and say, “I know I don’t need that, I can let it go.” Now I’m enjoying a more spacious comfortable bedroom. But we can’t treat our inner selves like that! And I shake my head with rueful empathy whenever I hear a new Focusing client say this sort of thing: “That’s my old , and I’ve decided I don’t need it any more.” Treating our inner…
Ann Weiser Cornell