Year of the Big Shift One

Join the Conversation!

Please use the space below to share your thoughts or ask Ann a question.

23 Comments

  1. Nicole 5 years ago

    After viewing the video, I’m still left with a question, what if what I enjoy doing as a pastime, (gardening/ floral arranging) what gives me joy, is different from what I feel I am meant to do (ie. in a religious sense, esp. if I have gifts, knowledge, and skills, that can be of good benefit to those in need (working with those with mental health issues?) I feel that this is my biggest stumbling block right now, as I do enjoy both, in each their own way, and would hate to leave behind one or the other.

    Thank you! N.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Hi Nicole… How great that there are two things, one that gives you joy, the other that you feel you are meant to do. And you actually enjoy both! I wonder if I implied in the video that you had to choose one? If so, I didn’t mean it! Please say more about what you mean by a “stumbling block”? I’d love to help.

    • Emma 5 years ago

      Did you hear about green rehabilitation?

      • Author
        Ann 5 years ago

        No, but I’d love to hear more!

  2. Sibylle 5 years ago

    Dear Ann,
    I’m thinking about my 20 year old son. He finished school, and now he’s got no idea what to do .Neither does he know/feel, what he’s ment to do , nor what gives his life meaning. He cant’get in touch with any felt sense about these question. I find him very stuck and I think he’ s close to become depressive.
    Thank you for your answer
    Sibylle

    • Ana 5 years ago

      Hi Sibylle, I hope you don’t mind my interfering…. I can feel how worried you are. As a mother of a 24-year old I’ve been there and have (I think) learned some lessons. It all boils down to your expectations from life/each other/yourselves. I mean, aren’t your allowed to be clueless about life’s purpose at 20? Perhaps just redefining these expectations could help you feel less stuck and worried, and more relaxed about the way things are right now… Maybe patience would make a difference, or there are things to accept or to let go… you’ll know what they are.
      All the best,
      Ana

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Hi Sibylle, I can really feel how much you care about your son. How great that he is communicating with you enough that you know how he feels! That shows me that you have created a good relationship with him. I find that often people who say they have “no felt sense” usually do have one, but it starts as knowing what they don’t want. If he can feel free to say all the things that don’t feel right, that is the beginning of listening inside.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      By the way Sibylle I was inspired by your son’s story to write my Weekly Tip today as if I had heard from someone like him. I think you’ll enjoy my answer!

  3. Leah 5 years ago

    For the first two questions, I sensed something in my chest that felt substantial and had weight to it. For the last question, ‘what am I called to do?,’ I also felt something that started inside my chest but it expanded out into the area in front of my chest. It felt light, open, limitless. I was surprised when I sensed into the feeling of expansiveness there was something so single-focused and calm about it, like it was saying ‘be present, right here, right now’.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Leah, thank you for sharing, I really have a feel for what you are describing… light, open, limitless… single-focused and calm. Lovely!

  4. Tarryn Botes 5 years ago

    Hi Ann, thank you loved the video 🙂 What I get is that joy, satisfaction and fulfillment itself is not available to me or something I am not allowed to have and a sense of longing for something I can’t have. And with what gives meaning to my life is a sense of nothing has meaning and a sense it is coming from grief due to loss. So I guess that it’s no wonder I can’t get clear about anything. So would I need to focus with these felt senses before even trying to get clear on where I want to go, or does it help more to keep asking the questions to bring the felt senses into poignant awareness?

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Hi Tarryn – Yes too get a big “no wonder” to what you are saying! It sounds like there is something that is going to need attention first… and it is grief due to loss. I don’t think it matters how you get there, whether you go directly to the grief or whether you ask the questions again in order to bring up those feelings. Either way, it sounds like what needs company is that inner sense not being able to have something you long for. There was a time when that happened. This will be a process of spending time with that “younger you” who longed for something really important and didn’t get it, and now doesn’t want to long for anything. The next video will also help I think.

      • Author
        Ann 5 years ago

        First words should have been “Yes, I too get a big “no wonder”…”

  5. William Biesty 5 years ago

    My answer was I don’t know to each of them. Frustration. I did sit with the feeling and some peace arose and could sense an inner voice speaking but couldn’t hear it only a sense of rejection arose in response. Many times when I do focusing difficult experience s from my past arise that seem to transform my relationship to them and the process feel s helpful but I always end the session with frustration that no way “forward” or different appears.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Hi William – You could sit with the feeling… some peace arose… you could sense an inner voice speaking… I’d say a shift happened and/or was starting. Then it sounds to me like an inner critic came in. Definitely the next video will be one to watch. Have you ever had a guided one-to-one Focusing session? I have some trainees who do those for no cost to you… and it can make a huge difference to have another person take you through it, when what is needed is a bit more time and patience.

  6. Dreamer 5 years ago

    I’m starting to think there’s nothing that I am meant to do. Or anyone else, for that matter.
    There probably isn’t any meaning in life. It’s all just random. Some people get lucky, some people don’t.
    There’s also this thing called “survivor’s bias” – when people who got lucky share their stories and attribute their success to some factors that in reality had nothing to do with it. And we never hear from those people who did the same things, but didn’t not get lucky.

    I’ve always had big dreams for my life, but no matter how hard I try, I never get closer to them. It’s probably time for me to give up.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Hi Dreamer – I can see what you mean, it’s certainly a possibility that it’s all just luck, and that later we attribute meaning to the path.
      It could be that way, of course. Even so, for many people the question “What gives my life meaning?” is helpful because it brings up an “inner sense of rightness” that is felt. Like a compass needle inside.
      I also know a Longing/Protector pattern when I hear one. To have big dreams, pursue them, keep on failing (by whose standards?) and then say “It’s probably time to give up” — I know that pattern very well. If one COULD give up on one’s dreams, that would be a sensible plan! The problem is, the big dreams and the “it’s time to give up” come from two different places inside. And then we oscillate between them.
      Do watch the next video, I talk more about this… and I’ll be interested in your reaction.

      • Dreamer 5 years ago

        >> “If one COULD give up on one’s dreams, that would be a sensible plan!”

        Yes, I know what you mean…

        I’ve watched the next video, and will share my response in the comments there.

  7. Bhavani 5 years ago

    I am noticing how just changing the words the question feels different. for example: I feel lot of resistance or revolt against the question, “What are you meant to do?” As if I have no free will. I am like a robot put into this world and I am meant to do what I am programmed to do. And something in me says I don’t want to do that!…. On the contrary, “What am I called to do” feels different. As if there is a calmness, and yet a slightly moving forward energy to that.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Bhavani, I can really feel the difference too! A powerful example of the subtle differences in particular language.

  8. Sienna Rose 5 years ago

    I have 5 more years plus a couple months before I can retire with a pension. I have a lot of frustration about having to wait for that to happen. And I notice that there seems to be a point of view that I must wait for that and another point of view that while I’m working I can do something else. Then another :that it all seems too much to do both. There is a sense of overwhelm. I can sense the strong pull to try to negotiate a reason a compromise and at the same time a very strong resistance to negotiation or compromise.

    • Author
      Ann 5 years ago

      Hi Sienna – It sounds like you’re spending a lot of time with the “how” — and feeling the obstacles and problems to carrying forward your dream in less than five years. But what if you spent more time with the Feeling of What is Wanted? And let the “how” step back for a while…

  9. Seweryn 5 years ago

    I love the questions Ann, except the third one … none of the versions speak to me …. I’m not meant or called to do … perhaps I’m drawn to do …. or excited about doing … what am I really really wanting to do … what am I longing to do …. it feels like there is different layers to this … there is excitement and really wanting and the fearful voice shows up … ( faithfully ready to protect me from catastrophe, from being hurt, humiliated or rejected from the tribe ) … and there is longing which has a deeper emotional … or a deeper …. a sadness to it …. tears come to my eyes … I don’t understand … I … those two different kinds of “being called or be meant to ” … the excited wanting part and then this. sad longing part … another part of me doesn’t like this complexity … and it’s saying : Excitement and wanting is enough already, I don’t want this sad longing serious part … so of course I have to stay with this unwanted sad part …. yet another part feels overwhelmed that there are so many part speaking, so many players on the field … I’m sitting with all that …

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*