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What is the Difference Between Focusing & Therapy?
by Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD
This article originally appeared in the March 1997 issue of
The Focusing Connection (Subscribe).
I am often asked the question, "What is the difference between
Focusing and therapy?", and it always startles me a little,
as if someone were asking the difference between breathing and
making mudpies. Because of course Focusing is something that we
hope is happening in therapy, especially in the client
but ideally in the therapist, too.
So I ask, and it usually turns out that what the questioner is
really wanting to know is: "What is the difference between
doing therapy as a therapist using Focusing, and guiding a person
through Focusing as a non-therapist?" This is a question
which interests me greatly, and to which I have given a great
deal of thought over the years, since it is clear to me that I
am not a therapist even though I do one-to-one Focusing sessions
with people, and charge for them.
If you exchange Focusing sessions with someone, and don't charge,
then that is a Focusing partnership, and it's fairly easy to see
that the exchange of roles makes this a relationship that
is different from therapy. So if Focusing guiding sessions (paid,
one-way) are different from therapy sessions, it must also be
that something about the relationship is different. I would say,
yes, very much so.
In general, what distinguishes Focusing Guide from Focusing Therapist
is the quality and the character of the relationship.
The Focusing Therapist is concerned with the "interpersonal
space," as Gendlin calls it, and attends to the quality of
that space as a key part of the therapeutic process.
(As an aside, I need to mention that there is some controversy
over what to call a therapist who uses Focusing as a primary modality.
"Focusing Therapist," "Focusing-Oriented Therapist,"
and "Experiential Therapist," are three possibilities.
I apologize for using the shortest for convenience in this paper.)
In his paper, "Focusing Therapy: Some Basic Statements,"
Johannes Wiltschko writes: "I now have to mention the importance
of the specific relationship between client and therapist.
This is, besides working on the felt sense, the main aspect
of Focusing Therapy. ... The relational space between client and
therapist is the living space in which the client's developmental
process can occur" (The Focusing Folio, 14, 3, available
from The Focusing Institute).
Of course there are many different ways of doing Focusing Therapy,
so any one of my generalizations about Focusing Therapists may
not apply to a particular Focusing Therapist. But I hope that
these distinctions make a cluster which, as a whole, distinguishes
Focusing Therapist from Focusing Guide.
A. The Focusing Guide Primarily Facilitates
the Inner Relationship
The Focusing Guide has the job of helping the client to focus.
This is primary. Focusing is an inner relationship, so
in the office of the Focusing Guide, the inner relationship, the
relationship of the client to the felt sense, is primary.
The Focusing Therapist has a larger job: being present for this
whole person's (emotional, spiritual) growth at this time in their
life.
For a Focusing Guide, process is not only more important than
content - as I'm sure it is for many therapists - process is supreme.
It would be rare for a therapist to say to a client, as Focusing
Guides often do, "You don't need to tell me what just came.
Just be sure you really receive it for yourself." The therapist
would usually consider it therapeutic, and a valuable part of
the relationship, for the client to share what came. The Focusing
Guide considers the communication between client and guide to
be relatively unimportant next to the communication between client
and client.
B. Therapists Need to Pay Attention to Relationship Issues
Therapists need to be alert for transference and countertransference,
and use the awareness of these issues therapeutically in the work
with the client. As a Focusing Guide, if I encounter transference
and countertransference, it's no more strongly than in any teacher-student
relationship. If I did encounter them - if a client got very upset
or very closed down at the prospect of my taking a planned vacation,
for example - it would suggest to me that we needed to discuss
a referral to a therapist.
The therapy relationship makes a place where relational issues
can come up, as part of the process of healing. A few years ago
I entered psychotherapy as a client for the first time, after
twenty-two years of Focusing in partnership relationships. I noticed
that I had reactions to my therapist that I never had to
my Focusing partners. For the first few months, I didn't want
her to have any other clients but me. I knew she did, but I didn't
want to know about them. I felt terribly jealous if I saw any
other clients in her waiting room. I didn't want to tell anyone
her name for fear that they would go see her. The strength and
irrationality of these feelings was embarrassing to me, and yet
at the same time it was comforting to know that this relationship
was a place where it was OK to feel like a child jealous of my
brothers and sisters, and to explore those feelings of "there's
never enough for me."
C. The Focusing Guide Does Not Bring Up Topics
A Focusing Guide does not choose the topic that the client
will work on. A Focusing Guide does not look for gaps in what
the focuser is bringing up, and ask about them. The focuser is
totally in charge of the content of what she works on.
When I was a therapist and did couple therapy with a co-therapist,
at some times with some couples we might bring up the question
of their sex life. "How is it going?" we'd ask. "Can
you talk about it to each other?" For a couple in couple
therapy to not be talking about the sexual side of their relationship
was a significant omission, and it was a legitimate part of a
therapist's role to bring it up. But with my Focusing clients
I would not do that. I help them pursue whatever they bring up.
I worked with one woman for a year in what was paradigmatically
a Focusing guiding relationship. She chose the issues that she
worked on. Primarily, she worked on the question of what she wanted
to do with her life. After about a year, she told me she was in
great pain because she was breaking up with her lover. At that
time, and not before, I discovered the gender of the lover.
I believe, and I've checked this with several people, that a therapist
would have been justified in feeling that something was missing,
in working with someone for so long and never hearing about their
love/sex/relationship life. A therapist might have been right
to ask, "Is that part of your life really perfectly OK, or
is there some other reason why you're not telling me about it?"
But as a Focusing Guide, I considered that to be outside my scope.
It was understood that my client was completely in charge of the
topic of the session. I was willing to go with her along whatever
path she (and her felt senses) indicated.
D. A Therapy Client Would Usually Have Only
One Therapist at a Time
Because of the special qualities of the therapy relationship
already described, it would be usually be considered confusing
and unhelpful if a client were to have more than one therapist
at a time.
On the other hand, a person could have many Focusing relationships.
When I first learned Focusing, it was part of a peer community
(Changes) in Chicago. I was so enthusiastic about the process
that I did it at every opportunity. During my first year, I rarely
had fewer than two sessions a week with different people - and
sometimes as many as five. When I sat down to work with someone,
I didn't need to explain what had come in the four other sessions
that week. Nor did they feel the need to know. I just began at
my own edge. I was the guardian of my own process.
As a Focusing Guide, I don't need to know what other growthful
work the focuser has done in the past week. I remember one man
who did tell me that he had worked with another guide a few days
before, and we were fascinated to discover that the sessions were
totally different, in both theme and tone. In my opinion, the
choice to do this is totally up to the focuser. In this sense,
I feel that Focusing guiding is more like bodywork than like therapy.
I feel free to schedule sessions with different bodyworkers, and
even several in a week, without needing to inform them about each
other.
E. A Focusing Guide Can Work with a Friend
There is no difficulty in being a Focusing Guide to a person
who is also a friend. On the other hand, it would be difficult
and inappropriate to form or maintain a friendship with a client
currently in therapy, or to become a therapist for a friend. I
would feel, as either the client or the therapist, that the two
relationships competed with each other. If I felt that this was
a person who could become my friend, I wouldn't pursue
the friendship, since I can have many friends, and I would want
to set the friendship aside in preference for the therapy relationship
for as long as the therapy continued.
F. A Therapist Makes a Long-Term Commitment
Although this too can vary in special cases, most therapists
make a commitment to the client that goes something like this,
"I will be here for your growth, for as long as you need
me."
When I was a therapist, and I decided to move from Illinois to
California, I informed my clients as soon as I began considering
the move, about six months in advance. Their reactions to my potential
move became one of the issues which they explored in therapy.
I felt I owed them the chance to "get used to" the idea
of my going, and to report and explore the feelings that this
raised in them. The same was true of going on vacation. I informed
my clients of my vacations well in advance, and welcomed their
exploration of feelings and reactions they might have to my absence.
As a Focusing Guide, I plan my travels at times when I don't have
classes scheduled, but other than that, I don't need to take my
Focusing students into consideration. If someone calls for an
appointment at a time when I am away, they can either wait until
I get back, or call another Guide or Focusing partner. There is
little likelihood they they will have feelings of upset or betrayal
about my absence.
G. A Therapist Uses Everything that Works
Having made a commitment to this person for their whole growth,
it would of course be nonsensical for the therapist not to use
any method that they know about that might help the client. My
therapist uses techniques from Focusing, Gestalt, EMDR, and a
dash of Buddhist/Hindu spiritual guidance. Mostly she uses her
own personal presence-she is there.
As a Focusing Guide, I assume that the person has chosen to come
to me because they want to be guided through Focusing. If they
want something else, they'll go somewhere else. Of course I too
try to give the focuser my full presence. That part is not different.
H. A Focusing Guide Does Not Diagnose or Analyze
Of course, neither do many therapists! But even therapists
who hate to diagnose may have to, at least to fulfill requirements
for third-party (insurance) payments. And some therapists do find
themselves living up to their training in "Advanced Labeling"
(as my friend Marshall Rosenberg calls his psychology degree)
by naming some clients "borderline," "dissociative,"
"alexithymic," etc. Focusing Guides don't.
What Both Have in Common
It might be good to mention some of the factors that both
Focusing Therapy and Focusing Guiding have in common. I have already
mentioned presence-being there as a whole person. There
are also ethical considerations in common.
Confidentiality of all information learned from the client or
student is an important ethical consideration. I believe that
neither a Focusing Guide nor a Focusing Therapist should reveal
information about a client or student to any other party without
the client or student's permission. A Focusing Guide is unlikely
to have to face the special exceptions to this, involving danger
to another person or to the client's own life, that some therapists
have to face.
Romantic or sexual activity with clients or students would be
another area requiring great care. Romantic and/or sexual feelings
have such great power and force, and can be so interwoven with
personal needs and unhealed wounds, that they can "drown
out" (like loud music) any other relationship which is present.
Some ethicists forbid such relationships entirely. I would at
least recommend great care and much Focusing before such feelings
might be acted upon.
There is a distinction to be made between clients/students with
whom one was in another kind of relationship before the Focusing
relationship started, and clients/students who were met first
through Focusing. One can be a Focusing Guide for one's spouse,
for example, or a dear friend. However, a Focusing partnership
or trade would probably be more appropriate to the reciprocity
of the relationship.
What Does Not
Distinguish Focusing Guide from Focusing Therapist
A. Length of Time
It has been suggested that if a Focusing Guide works with a client
beyond a limited number of sessions, say four or five, then the
work is no longer Focusing teaching and is, to call it by its
right name, therapy.
I don't agree that the number of sessions defines whether a relationship
is or is not therapy. A relationship can be definitely therapy-like
in the very first session. I can remember having a first session
with someone, and feeling the red flag go up - This person is
experiencing transference with me!
I can understand that defining a relationship as limited in time
might be a way that some people maintain the boundaries between
Focusing Therapy and Focusing Guiding. But a certain number of
sessions doesn't make a relationship into a therapy relationship,
any more than keeping below a certain number makes it not one.
B. Focusing 'Teaching' Doesn't Have to Happen
It has also been suggested that after a certain number of sessions
you are no longer teaching Focusing, because the person has learned
Focusing, so you must be doing therapy. I agree with the first
half of this statement but not the second. My experience has been
that there is a kind of relationship which is not teaching Focusing
in an explicit way, and is also not therapy. In this relationship
I am a companion to the person's process, using my expertise as
listener and guide. No new teaching may be happening; in fact,
this may be a person who already 'knows' Focusing, having taken
a number of workshops. Perhaps they called me up for a session
because an issue felt especially difficult, or they had a feeling
that a session with me would help. I'm happy to get a call from
someone after months have passed, and then not know, at the end
of a session, when or if they will ever call me again. Not a very
therapy-like attitude!
One more positive aspect: as a Focusing guide, I am not burdened
by society's expectations of the therapy relationship. People
don't come to me expecting to be told whether they're good or
sane. I'm not given the power to wave a magic wand and analyze
someone's problems. I don't face the educational process that
client- and person-centered therapists face, of explaining that
that magic wand won't be forthcoming!
I feel that Focusing Therapist and Focusing Guide are two honorable
professions, which can support each other in harmony and mutual
respect. I'm happy that Focusing Therapists exist, and I'm happy
to refer to them anyone who is looking for therapy that includes
Focusing. For myself, my own profession suits me perfectly!
This
article appears in The Radical Acceptance of Everything,
by Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD and featuring Barbara McGavin (Calluna
Press; 2005). Learn more about
this book.
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