It’s Not What You Think
I thought the workers were coming over for a three-hour job, just to remove the fake brick from one wall of my bedroom. Instead, what they found behind that fake brick–mold, rot, and termite damage–led to weeks of work. I thought I’d sleep in my bedroom that night. Instead, I was on the air mattress in the session room for three weeks.
When I sat down to do Focusing with my Focusing partner a few days after the revelation, I was congratulating myself for not being more upset. But there was something lurking in the area of my chest, something that only became evident when I got quiet and really paid attention inside. I thought I was feeling OK about the work in the bedroom. But something in me felt another way.
When I got quiet and listened, I got a surprise. It wasn’t what I might have supposed at all. Not worry about the money, or the time, or the noise. No, it was a little place inside me that had been taken by surprise by the occupation of the bedroom. Not being able to prepare to sleep somewhere else, not having “packed a bag”… I had even lost track of the book I’d been reading. THAT was hard… for something in me. And when I acknowledged it, I felt lighter and more at ease.
Past Issues of this Newsletter
If You Don’t Know, You Haven’t Asked
Focusing is spending time with something that you’re feeling, sensing how IT feels. The only way to find out how it feels is through sensing it directly.
Sometimes I’ll hear people say, “I guess it must be sad,” or “I suppose it would be angry.” You can tell by the language that they haven’t really asked!
We may not be used to this direct sensing of something inside… but it’s available to us.
The next time you think you know how you feel, check and be sure. Even if you were right, something inside you will be glad you asked.