Before I get into this week’s topic I’ve got some feedback on a past issue to pass along:
Catherine writes: "It’s always a treat to get your Focusing tips, and this one (#123) especially resonated with me. I’d just discovered for myself that "how the whole thing is right now might not be at all the same as what has been chasing you around all day." A really major emotional upheaval had come up–a deeply buried horror from childhood–and I was so freaked out that I was actually starting to hyperventilate. In theory, Focusing seemed to be the thing to do, but I doubted very much that it was going to show me anything that wasn’t already excruciatingly obvious about how I was feeling. I also doubted that I could come into Presence, since all parts seemed so unanimous in their upset that I couldn’t distinguish them as parts. But lo and behold, as I settled down to give it a shot, a part broke ranks with the general hysteria and showed me an aspect of the traumatic event that I had never been able to see before. In fact, that part had actually been present during the event, helping me to get through it as it was now helping me get through the memory of it. I was very happy to make its acquaintance! It just never ceases to amaze me how much I don’t know about my feelings till I focus."
Isn’t that great? Thanks, Catherine, for giving me permission to share this.
When You Get Sleepy During Focusing
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Recently we had a Weekly Tip (#121) on Focusing to help with falling asleep. Then I got this email from Scot: "What about the other half of this? What do you do when, despite all your precautions (getting enough rest, etc)… you still tend to fall asleep whenever you start to focus?"
I would suggest standing up.
Yes, that’s right, you can do Focusing standing up! As my friend Kevin McEvenue teaches in his work called "WholeBody Focusing," when you stand up it’s often possible to feel even more grounded and safe. Often there is a slight swaying or rocking that occurs naturally. The whole body is available for movement if that wants to come.
If standing up doesn’t work or isn’t right for you for some reason, another idea is to write while Focusing. Have your pen in hand, and paper on your lap, and be ready to write a few words as soon as you find something that needs to be described.
The idea behind both of these suggestions (also helpful if you tend to slide into meditation when you want to do Focusing) is that Focusing isn’t as "deep" a state as sleep or meditation, but in a relaxed body with closed eyes we might slip into those deeper states without intending to. So we have ways, like standing or writing… speaking out loud would be another way… that keep us "up" in a more ordinary less relaxed state.
That’s right, to do Focusing you’d better NOT be as relaxed as you can be!
Another Reason for Sleepiness
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Scot said that he tended to fall asleep whenever he started to do Focusing… and that’s why I answered as I did.
But there is another kind of sleepiness, or another reason for sleepiness, that we would respond to in a different way. This is when sleepiness comes at certain special times when you are Focusing, as you approach something difficult to be with perhaps.
Then I would suggest that you acknowledge "something in you that is sending the sleepiness." We don’t call this "resistance." Instead, we treat it with respect without getting caught up in it. Something in you is sending the sleepiness for some good reason. This is what is acknowledged.
For example:
"I’m getting close to a very vulnerable place inside… Wow, suddenly I’m feeling very sleepy! OK, I’m going to acknowledge something in me that is sending the sleepiness. … Yes, I can sense that it is worried about what will happen if we get close to that vulnerable place. OK, I’m letting it know I hear that…
"It’s relaxing a bit and I feel OK about coming back to the vulnerable place… Just sensing how it would like me to be with it…"