February 19 2008 #150

February 19 2008 #150
March 5, 2008 Ann Weiser Cornell

When Lots of Things Come at the Start

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sue writes: "I have a question for you, regarding Clearing a Space. I have read somewhere that there are some different opinions about if and when this is used to start a Focusing session. I generally use it, because I think it helps get the person in to listening mode. For a couple of people I helped focus, the peace and calm felt when their ‘space’ was cleared was a quite profound experience for them. It taught them experientially that they are much more than the sum of their problems.

"My question regarding Clearing a Space is about people who have a great long list of things that ‘come’ when they ask ‘what needs my awareness now’. If they start to talk about each thing, I encourage them to just receive what comes and put it aside, and wait patiently for the next thing. Nevertheless, the list is very long. When I invite them to ask what needs their attention most, there is usually no problem for just one thing to come. So do you think that having such a long ‘list’ is a problem, or do you have a way of helping people like this, or is this just part of the spectrum of types of people and the way they process their inner complexity. At the other extreme, I have guided people who get only a word or two, and the session proceeds just fine from that."

Dear Sue,

I remember the days when I was one of Gene Gendlin’s assistant teachers for his first Focusing workshops, in Chicago in the early 80s. He would explain a concept like Clearing a Space, guide the group through an exercise, and then send off the participants to work with his many assistants in groups of 2 and 3.

It was our job to help them actually have an experience of Clearing a Space. (Clearing a Space is a step that can come at the start of Focusing, and it involves acknowledging or setting out a number of issues, without going into any of them, until one can feel a kind of "clear space.")

After about a year of this I compiled a chart of all the different problems people could have with Clearing a Space, and how to help with them. As I recall, there were sixteen different types of difficulties with Clearing a Space! (This was one of the reasons I moved away from this step and stopped using it in my Focusing teaching.)

And yes, Sue, the one you mention was on the list. People would keep coming up with more and more items to set out, and it wasn’t clear that this was making any difference for them experientially.

The problem is that they are setting out conceptual categories, items that are on their mental list of problems. So of course there is always one more, and of course nothing really changes in a bodily way when they set one out.

I remember someone once asked Gene Gendlin, "What are we setting out? The problem, or the felt sense of it?" Gene replied, "You’re setting out whatever’s between you and feeling fine."

So people need to be guided into their bodies first, and I would say if they tend to intellectualize they could use a nice long lead-in to the body, sensing arms and hands, legs and feet, the contact of their body of what they’re sitting on, and resting into the support that’s there (and maybe mentioning even more body parts as you help them scan through how it feels in there)… and then sensing the middle area of the body, throat, chest, stomach, abdomen…

And then have them give an invitation like, "What feels like it’s in the way of feeling just fine in here right now?" So it’s an invitation aimed at the body, aimed at the feeling inside, not to my list of problems but to my felt body in the here and now.

After something comes in that inner experienced place, and it is acknowledged and set out, you might invite them to sense in there, if that feels like it made a difference, a bigger space, or a bigger breath. That helps the process be with what’s here now, not with the "mind’s list" of problems.

What Needs Attention Most

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


After helping Gene with his workshops for a few years, I moved to California, and began to have a few Focusing clients of my own. I started by guiding each one through Clearing a Space, just the way we had done in Chicago.

One thing I noticed was, just what you describe, Sue, that "what needs attention most" was pretty obvious, in many cases. Something would come up, and it was clearly what the person came to me for. I started to get this strong "No" inside me about asking them to set that out and get something else. Like I was going against what their own process was telling me. I began to trust my instincts, and people had more satisfying sessions.

So I would strongly suggest that we be flexible about any process we do with people, and be ready and willing to drop it and go with the process that is calling for them, and not let our own agenda for them be more important than what the process itself is asking for.

And then it doesn’t matter if you are a fan of Clearing a Space or not; you will do what the person’s process needs in that moment.

0 Comments

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

GET BIGGER THAN WHAT'S BUGGING YOU

A FREE E-COURSE

Sign up here and get your first lesson right away.

Thank you! Your first lesson is on its way to your inbox. If you don't see it in the next couple hours, be sure to check your SPAM folder (or Promotions tab in GMail)