Things are changing! Weekly Tips has become Biweekly Tips… On the alternate weeks, I'll be writing on Getting Unblocked… the special application of Focusing to any area of your life that feels stuck, blocked, or otherwise difficult to change.
Letting the Part Say What it Needs
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On my wall calendar, there are little shiny stars on about half of the days. I smile when I see them. They are the visible result of an ongoing process of listening to parts of me, and letting them say what they need.
It all started when I was working with my block to taking regular walks. I call it a "block" because something in me wanted to do it, it seemed like a really good idea… but it just wasn't happening. So, using the same method that helped me release my writer's block, I sat down to listen to the "part that didn't want to."
Deeply Listening
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To the best of my ability I established myself in Presence, so I could listen without bias to the part of me that didn't want to exercise. I invited the feel of it in my body, and sat down to empathize with what it was not-wanting and wanting.
It totally surprised me! I thought I was going to discover some ingrained objection to exercise itself. But that wasn't it at all. Through inner empathy, I learned that this part of me had no real objection to walking. What it didn't like was that there was no concrete, immediate result. It was as if it was saying, "What does it matter if I walk one day and don't walk another? One day, so what?"
The Solution Comes From It
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I was careful not to offer any solutions. I knew from experience that seemingly good ideas could seem like impositions to this not-wanting-to part of me. I just invited it to let me know what could work, what would make it feel like the walk made a difference.
That's when it offered the idea of the stars! If every walk or other 30-minute exercise was rewarded with a star on the calender, that would be a reason to do it, that would be a concrete, tangible result. It would matter whether I took the walk or not–no walk, no star.
I know this method works, because I'm still putting up the stars… and when I look at the calendar, I feel great!