“There are so many voices in me that want to to be heard.”
A Reader writes:
“Now that I have experienced that I can really go inside myself and find all kind of answers, it is like I want to do Focusing all the time. And something in me is not feeling good about this, as if it thinks I’ll do too much Focusing.
“It is like if I am having a hard time trying to find a balance because there are so many voices in me that want to be heard and they kind of scream in desperation. As if they had all been closed in a room during all my life and now that I started to open the door I cannot avoid hearing them or even just handle the rush. It feels like I would have to close myself in that room with all of them for a few weeks until every one has been heard to the end. I feel quite exhausted to even just think about this.
“I am not quite sure of how to proceed from here and some guidance at this point would be very helpful.”
Dear Reader,
As Self-in-Presence you are the space for all the parts…and that means especially the part of you that feels overwhelmed and is afraid that this is all too much. Be sure to give that one a special Hello. It sounds like you are a bit identified with that part, so it needs extra acknowledgement.
Whatever you can do to increase Self-in-Presence is good, like feeling the contact and support beneath you, and saying the words: “I am the space where all of this can be as it is.” Feeling the expansion of your breath. Relaxing into what feels good in your body, even a little bit.
And when you find a part that is screaming for attention, remember there is nothing you need to do except just say to it, “Wow, I sense how strongly you feel, and how long you have waited.” When it knows you are hearing it, just that much, it will relax and allow you to acknowledge something else as well.
“I am sensing something in me that feels __________.”
I have a secret to tell you, about Self-in-Presence.
You don’t have to feel like Self-in-Presence, in order to be Self-in-Presence. You don’t have to feel compassionate, or spacious, or friendly to your emotional parts.
(This is good news, because we can’t really make ourselves feel anything!)
All you have to do is behave as Self-in-Presence. Act that way.
One of the primary ways to act as Self-in-Presence is to use Presence Language. Just use the language! Make it a kind of discipline, a new habit to get into.
It would sound like this:
“I’m sensing something in me is feeling exhausted just imagining all those parts clamoring for my attention. I’m sensing something in me feeling like I am the one who needs to make them all calm down. And I’m saying Hello to that!”
The act of saying this brings a shift. You don’t have to wait until you feel it; just be it.