Can you imagine loving everything about yourself? Does that even seem possible? We can help…

Loving the Unlovable

A 3-week on-demand, video course with Ann Weiser Cornell to Transform Shame and Self-Blame

I’m Ready to Sign Up How This Will Help You

Do you feel like you’re a flawed, imperfect person, deep down?

Many of us carry a sense of being deeply wrong inside, hoping that others will never find out how flawed we are. I know I did… All through my teenage and young adult years, I felt I was fundamentally not good enough, and therefore I couldn’t be loved or respected by anyone who really knew me.

It takes a lot of energy to hide who you really are.

It’s a Catch-22. If I show my shameful, “ugly,” probably disgusting deepest self, then people will recoil from me and I’ll be alone. But if I don’t show who I am, nobody really knows me, and I’m essentially alone anyway. The hiding takes a lot of energy and just perpetuates the belief that I’ve got something horrible at my core.

Our feelings of shame and self-loathing feel like proof that we’ve got to hide our true selves.

There’s a self-perpetuating cycle that moves from the painful body feelings of self-loathing… to the shame that convinces us we have to hide our true selves from others… to the loneliness of never being seen and appreciated for our true selves. And around the cycle again.

Yes, there is a way out of that cycle…

It starts with turning toward the feelings, without believing what they seem to tell us.

hiding
woman comforting child

“Shaming” is a process, not a truth.

A part of you does “shaming” so that the so-called unlovable parts of you will stay hidden away. It has nothing to do with whether those parts of you are actually bad, flawed, “ugly” or shameful! Hint: They’re not.

What’s really locked away at your core is a longing for connection and mutuality that got blocked long ago.

Imagine reaching out for a hug and getting slapped instead… or simply ignored. When our natural impulses for connection and mutuality get blocked – even punished – those fundamental needs get locked away under various veneers – from “I don’t need anyone” to “I’m a needy vulnerable mess” to “There’s clearly something wrong with me but I don’t know what.”

You have everything you need to love yourself as you are.

It’s not even hard to do… as long as you start by having compassion for the parts of you that are shaming other vulnerable parts of you in order to save you from some scary fate. When you can step outside that whole dynamic… turn toward both the “Shamer” and the “Shamed” inside… then love and tenderness for yourself naturally awakens.

As you grow stronger in your ability to love yourself, you have more freedom and possibility in your life.

When you do this work, your strong calm Self gets bigger and your energy is freed up because there is no longer a need to hide certain aspects of yourself. The sky’s the limit for creativity, enjoyment, and accomplishment!

self love

Join me in this course where I’ll show you how to:

  • The amazing truth that “shame” is a process that is meant to protect you… and how this means you can stop having to feel crippling shame
  • How to step outside the cycle of shame, feeling bad about yourself, and loneliness
  • Seven ways you can cultivate your strong, calm Self, the “you” that you can feel good about being

This course could be right for you if:

  • You’ve ever felt that parts of yourself, including your body, are bad, wrong, or unlovable
  • You feel you have to hide away aspects of yourself for fear others will see what’s wrong with you
  • You want to grow in your ability to feel good about yourself, confident, and empowered

What You’ll Get:

In this course, you’ll experience a series of playful and profound processes for encountering the most unlovable parts of yourself… and embracing them.

Not only that, but also embracing the part of you that doesn’t love them!

The result: at least a taste of the freedom and ease that are possible for you as you transform painful inner states into something more life-affirming.

About Your Teacher

Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help alleviate the thinking and feeling cycles that kept her stuck in hard places. It changed her life, and it became her mission to help others create quiet miracles in their lives too.

For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With her At the Crossroads on-demand course, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice the simple, yet revolutionary process of Focusing with her gentle, compassionate guidance.

Ann is the author of 21 Days to Better Boundaries, Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change, The Power of Focusing, The Radical Acceptance of Everything, and Untangling: How You Can Transform What’s Impossibly Stuck. Today she is internationally recognized as one of the leading innovators and theoreticians of Focusing.


“Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless at wants our love.”


-Rainer Maria Rilke

Are You Ready to Start Loving What Feels Unlovable in You?

I Can Help Get You There…

Learn How to Transform Shame & Self-Blame

Practice Powerful Exercises & Skills On Your Own

Discover How You Can Love Every Part of Yourself

Enroll for Your Course Here

Loving the unlovable

Loving the Unlovable: Transforming Shame and Self-Blame

$95.00

3-week Video Course to transform shame and lack of self-love, and to help you shift how you perceive the most “unlovable” parts of yourself.

Unlimited, lifetime access
Downloadable workbook
Access to our online forum

This is an on-demand course. Video was recorded during an actual live course and has been edited. Sound quality may vary.

Get 6 Powerful Guided Exercises

  • What Are the Labels?
  • What the Part that Shames Us is Trying to Do for Us
  • Making Sense of the World
  • Listening to the Part that Compares Us to Others
  • The Part of You That’s Hardest to Love
  • Living from Confidence that Every Part of You is Lovable

How This Course Works

Learn Wherever You Like

This course is accessible by computer, tablet, or smart phone. If you can connect to the internet, you can connect to this course!

Be Supported In Your Process!

You won’t be going it alone! You’ll have access to a forum to chat with other students, plus access to Ann for parts where you might feel stuck.

Available at Your Convenience!

You can access new content (delivered weekly) whenever it works for you. You get lifetime access, so you can revisit the material anytime.

Interactive Materials

This course includes a beautiful PDF workbook to help you integrate your learning. There will also be checkpoints during the course to check-in on your progress.

“Definition: An inner criticizing part is any part of you that believes that you or another part of you has to change in order for you to be OK.”

– Ann Weiser Cornell, Radical Gentleness

What People Are Saying

I can now hold the belief that I am entirely lovable

“Before the course, I tended to see every negative circumstance as either my fault entirely, or something I made worse. Now, I see that my role in most of these circumstances was either the result of resources, skills, and knowledge I didn’t yet have, or the result of someone else behaving in a way no one should have to tolerate. Either way, I can now hold the belief that I am entirely lovable, apart from my actions, which are always well-intentioned and mostly successful. I now know that my mistakes are learning experiences, not signs that I am a failure through and through.”
Barbara Dickinson photo
Barbara Dickinson

This course truly went beyond my expectations

“Before Loving the Unlovable, I really struggled to accept some circumstances of my life that left me feeling ashamed and vulnerable. I was born “by accident” – an unplanned child and I could barely tolerate the shame I felt about that. I used to push those feelings out. Now, I can be more open to them. That openness has created a great expansion in my life. This course truly went beyond my expectations. It helped me transform a fundamental attitude about my feelings into a more open, loving, natural, fascinating one. My relationship to my child self, my shame, and even my larger self is moving into a more healthy, spiritual and creative connection.”
Pablo García Gutiérrez

I feel an enormous sense of gratitude to Focusing

“One of my biggest challenges was feeling/being stuck in the muck of conclusions that a very young part of me came to in order to cope with my mother’s neglect and verbal abuse. I decided I’d never be able to get the help I needed…no matter what I tried…so why try? My best efforts just weren’t good enough. Through the exercises in the course, I was able to see the despair of this small girl inside me and finally draw her into my adult heart with love and compassion so she doesn’t feel so hopeless, defeated, and isolated. I feel an enormous sense of gratitude to Ann and to Focusing for this newfound tenderness!”
K.L.

quite naturally just asking for what I need or want

“After taking the Loving the Unlovable course, I notice I’m speaking up at times when I wouldn’t have before. When I have a need or a want, instead of staying quiet I’m quite naturally just asking. That’s a biggie for me because I have such strong conditioning to not ask for anything.
For such a deep subject, Ann introduces it in a loving, uncomplicated way that makes it easy to work with. It’s so comforting to be in a group with people who have similar issues, to feel the bond of shared experience, and take steps toward change together.”
Trisha Cripps

a way to deal with and resolve shame and guilt

“Before Loving the Unlovable, my biggest challenge was facing (and dealing with) feelings of shame and guilt. I felt frustrated by that and like I was going in circles. Now, I have a way to deal with issues around shame and guilt and start the process of resolving them. Ann is there for extra support, and she and her staff are truly willing to engage with participants at every step and at any level!”
John Finnegan

This kind of work is life-changing

“Before Loving the Unlovable, I was constantly struggling with being stuck and not being able to get things done. This left me feeling bad about myself all the time. I was very hard on myself, in the way I would talk and think about myself. That has shifted and I am so much kinder to myself in thoughts and words, as well as actions. This kind of work is life-changing.“
Jacqueline S.

helped me feel heard, validated, and encouraged

“I have struggled with feeling unlovable and inadequate for as long as I can remember. For decades I lived in a persistent state of panic, trying to prove to everyone that I was enough. I was overly helpful, nice, agreeable and giving — all at the expense of my true self. It was utterly crazy-making. Loving the Unlovable gave me the language, “something in me” that allows me to honor the panicky child parts inside who were so alone in the past. It also helped me feel heard, validated, and encouraged to continue to listen to and honor the truth stored in my body. It nurtured my deep-seated wish to have the “courage to heal.” Thank you, Ann!”
Sarah T.

I feel freer and more at ease

“Before taking the course it was really difficult for me to be willing to turn within and be with the hurting, angry, shamed places inside. That left me feeling very scared, resistant, tense, and tired. I felt afraid of parts of me, afraid there was something terribly bad and wrong within me that might hurt and destroy me. Now, I feel freer and more at ease knowing that everything inside me is actually trying to help me in it’s own way. I think Loving the Unlovable is ideal because it brings understanding and compassion to the feeling that something in us is unlovable.”
L.R.

Got Questions? We’ve Got Your Answers…

The great news is that you can take this course whenever it works for you. You get content when you want it, plus lifetime access. No stressing out about being somewhere on time. Way less pressure to move through the material at a pace that might not fit for you. The lessons are compact and set up so that you can do them in small bites or big chunks depending on your learning style and your availability.

No. You’ll have access to the first Module of the course as soon as you sign up. Every 7 days, you’ll get a new module released to you. We provide the content in ‘small bites’ like this because taking time to practice the material and move forward in small, consistent steps supports you in making the kinds of changes you really want to make.

Sure. The classroom is virtual. You’ll get access to the course platform right after registering. Materials are provided via a combination of video, audio slideshows, and written content to cover a variety of learning styles. There is a forum so you can connect with other program participants and be part of a dynamic learning community. And you get lifetime access to all of it. Go through it once and come back anytime you need some extra support to handle life!

Thanks for asking. Each course is licensed to a single user – you! While we can’t authorize you to share the materials, we’d love to have your friend participate too. Please feel free to invite them to sign up too!

Your course comes with a 100% money-back guarantee. If you let us know within 60 days of your purchase that we didn’t deliver what we said we would, just ask and we’ll cheerfully refund the full course fee.

No, we’re sorry. Continuing Education Units (CE Credits) are not available for this course. If you need CE Credits, please check out our upcoming live online courses here.

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