Change unhelpful habits without evoking shame or inner critics so you can have a more peaceful, empowered life.
There is a way to bring some peace to the endless inner war.
Instead of feeling like your unhelpful habits will always have the upper hand, discover how offering compassion and curiosity to the struggle underneath the habit can bring new possibilities to your life.
Join us and learn a kind, gentle way to shift unhelpful habits.
What causes the Urge to Indulge?
The Urge to Indulge = a repetitive cycle of indulging in food, drink, internet, TV, or other behaviors, followed by guilt, shame, and self-blame.
That cycle springs from something deeper: a war over the control of pain and painful emotions, and the avoidance of forward-moving action.
In The Urge to Indulge course, you’ll learn how to:
- Recognize when you’re taken over by the urge to indulge and what to do then – that does not involve shaming or criticizing yourself
- Bring kindness and compassion to yourself even when there is something about you that you want to change
- Move into a new relationship with the part of you that reaches for the cookie and the part of you that makes you feel bad for doing it
- Recognize the difference between a habit and a hijack
- Cultivate your ability to be present to your uncomfortable emotions so that you have less need to distract yourself from them – so that they start to change
Is it like this for you?
Did you ever promise yourself that you were never going to do ____ again? And then find yourself doing it? And then fall victim to an inner critic attack calling you “disgusting” and “hopeless” – or worse? And then think: “I might as well do it some more since I am so worthless anyway…”
Despite careful plans and good intentions, the urge to indulge can hijack us into doing something that we’re sorry for later. That plus self-blame and criticism can become a vicious cycle of unhealthy behavior plus painful feelings.
And this often seems to happen at transition points in the day… when waking up, when arriving home after work, at bedtime…
I Know, I’ve Been There…
For me, it’s usually when I am tired, at the end of a long day, that I can’t resist that bag of potato chips. I eat it all – and then instead of feeling good, I feel angry at myself for “pigging out” – and despair of this habit ever changing.
But that doesn’t happen these days. Now, I know some ways to stay present when the temptation to soothe myself with old unhealthy habits comes up. More often than not, I now choose to do some knitting – or some Focusing – instead of eating the chips. I’ve learned how to sense in my body for what needs soothing and care – and what kind of soothing it really needs.
And most amazing of all, I learned to do this without activating an inner critical voice to scold me or make me feel bad… Which I know just makes things worse.
Three modules – Each introduces one or two new skills you can use to transform how you handle your urge to indulge.
Why We Indulge
There is always something else underneath the urge to indulge – feelings like sadness or overwhelm, or some need like rest or self-care. We’ll explore how to make contact with the part of you that “does it” so you have a healing inner relationship that can shift both how you feel and what you do, without self-shaming.
The Hijack and the Backlash
One big issue with the Urge to Indulge is that you often find yourself already doing it, or already having done it, before you’re aware you had a choice. That’s called “hijack” — and we’ll learn how to defuse hijack before it starts. Then there is “backlash” — that wave of shame and self-hate that comes afterward. And that too can shift — forever!
Resolving the War Over Feelings
The war over feelings is the struggle to not feel what you feel. Sometimes we don’t want to feel what’s hard…but not allowing what you feel comes at a great cost. We’ll discover ways to be with challenging feelings so they don’t get stuck and you can move forward with your life.
Get a taste of what you’ll get in this course with our 45-minute mini-course:
January 8, 2024 | 2:00pm Pacific Time
Join Ann to:
- Discover that you can be kind to yourself even if there is something in your behavior that you want to change… and how kindness actually works better than self-blame for changing your life
- Learn a powerful method for moving into a new relationship with the part of you that reaches for the cookie and the part of you that makes you feel bad for doing it
You’ll come away from this webinar feeling more empowered in relation to the part of you that indulges and the part of you that hates that … with practical tips you can use right away.
You’ll also learn more about the upcoming course. If you can’t join live, register anyway to receive a replay.
About Your Teacher
Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help people learn to listen compassionately to all the inner voices. Along the way, Ann and Barbara developed a radical new process for relating to the self-blaming voices inside them. It changed their lives, and it became their mission to help others transform as well.
For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With The Urge to Indulge on-demand course, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice the simple, yet revolutionary process of Focusing with her gentle, compassionate guidance.
Ann is the author of Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change, The Power of Focusing, and The Radical Acceptance of Everything. Today she is internationally recognized as one of the leading innovators and theoreticians of Focusing.
This Course Could Be Right For You If…
- You struggle with the urge to indulge, and you’d like to get beyond it to a more peaceful, more empowered life
- You know there is a way to change without shaming yourself, but you don’t know how yet
- You feel a strong commitment to your own emotional healing and beautiful full life
- The real reason why those transition points in the day are the most vulnerable times for the urge to indulge
- What the part of you that indulges has probably been trying to protect you from… And why it doesn’t have to
- How to push the pause button on the urge to indulge without activating self-blame
- When you do start beating yourself up, how to shift that shaming voice into a loving inner protector
- How to shift awareness from the struggle on the surface to what’s calling for your attention, deep down
How You’ll Learn
- This is a three week live, online course taught through our online class platform with meetings on Zoom.
- Every lesson offers two new guided exercises, plus life-changing information about what is really possible for you
- All the information and all the exercises are in beautiful handouts designed just for this course
- You get plenty of opportunities to share your experiences and ask questions – if you want to
Your Digital Workbook
Save $50 during our 5 Days of Deals Holiday Sale:
November 27th to December 1st
The Urge to Indulge Live, Online Course
January 22 to February 5
3 Mondays: 2:00 PM – 4:00 PM Pacific Time
Taught by Ann Weiser Cornell
Live Online Course
Don’t Miss Out: The last day to register is January 15
Can’t make this time? You can register and participate by listening to recordings of the course each week at a time that works with your schedule. But you won’t be eligible for CE Credits.
What People Are Saying
- Micheline G."I was drawn to the Urge to Indulge because I've lived my life like a yo-yo on a string( up and down I went) because of my relationship with food. I hoped to get to a place where I could get some awareness of the cycle that was controlling my life and limiting me from enjoying my life. I thought I knew how to control it. I was wrong. It was disappointment after disappointment. In this course, I became aware that the key was to have a genuine relationship with the parts of me that want to indulge. I learned to "pause" and be in awareness and through that I found a sacred space where I could rest and connect with all of my parts. Now, I am more present and accepting, better able to be with all the feelings that come."
- Agnès V."The Urge to Indulge was the first time I heard anyone talk about the motivations of the reacting parts inside. I knew the course was making a difference for me when I realized how my feelings were all tangled up inside me, like a chain reaction. I'd been trying to sort them out one by one and it wasn't working because these were not separate matters but one huge interconnected thing. That was a revelation to me and a great relief. It's been several weeks since the end of the course and I have more awareness. I am able to disidentify a little more each day from all my reactions. I feel supported in moving forward. Yes, it's still messy and I can watch the mess and understand it in the context of a larger picture."
How Online Courses Work
We use Zoom, an online video conference platform, to connect you to other students and the teacher. Before the class starts you will receive a Zoom link to use each time the class meets. You can join us via your camera-equipped computer, tablet, or smart phone. Prefer not to be on video? You can turn off your camera. Don’t want to call via computer? You can call in by phone. Zoom is free and easy to use. You will be able to sign on in advance to make sure you can access it, but we’ve had very few problems with it. Students also receive access to a private webpage where course materials can be found.
There is no prerequisite for this course. All are welcome.
Continuing Education Credit & Course Completion Certificate
Course meets the qualifications for 6 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and/or LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. Focusing Resources, CAMFT Approved CE Provider #62524
Focusing Resources is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and/or LEPs. Focusing Resources maintains responsibility for this course and its content.
There is a $25 administrative fee for CE units. Course completion certificates are awarded at the end of the course upon completion of all requirements and the course evaluation. (If you don’t want CE units but would like a completion certificate, the $25 fee does still apply.)
Eligibility for CE units requires at least 80% live attendance. If you miss a class, it must be made up.
Cancellations, Changes & Refunds
Up to 14 days before the first day of class: Just let us know and we'll refund your course fee. Or you can choose to apply the entire course fee towards a future class with us.
Cancellations received 13 days or fewer before class begins: No refund, sorry.
When Something Doesn't Go As You'd Hoped...
We are always open to discussing experiences with our courses that didn’t work for you or didn’t go the way you expected. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to email your course instructor, the staff member in charge of your course, or Ann Weiser Cornell. Email addresses for all these people will be supplied on registration. We will work with you to find a way to meet your needs.
Do I need to attend every class meeting?
You can enroll in this course and listen to the recordings that are available 1-2 days after each class meeting. We call this remote attendance. Please Note: If you attend remotely, you are ineligible for CEUs.
Is this a course with partnership practice?
No, partnerships are not available for this course.
Tell me more about the classroom environment and how course content is provided?
Sure. This course is taught using an online video conference system called Zoom. You’ll receive all the details you need to join us via Zoom prior to the first class meeting. You’ll also receive a private class webpage where homework assignments and class recordings can be found. Participants will be able to communicate via an online forum on the private class webpage.