Change unhelpful habits without evoking shame or inner critics so you can have a more peaceful, empowered life.
There is a way to bring some peace to the endless inner war.
Instead of feeling like your unhelpful habits will always have the upper hand, discover how offering compassion and curiosity to the struggle underneath the habit can bring new possibilities to your life.
Join us and learn a kind, gentle way to shift unhelpful habits.
What causes the Urge to Indulge?
The Urge to Indulge = a repetitive cycle of indulging in food, drink, internet, TV, or other behaviors, followed by guilt, shame, and self-blame.
That cycle springs from something deeper: a war over the control of pain and painful emotions, and the avoidance of forward-moving action.
In The Urge to Indulge course, you’ll learn how to:
- Recognize when you’re taken over by the urge to indulge and what to do then – that does not involve shaming or criticizing yourself
- Bring kindness and compassion to yourself even when there is something about you that you want to change
- Move into a new relationship with the part of you that reaches for the cookie and the part of you that makes you feel bad for doing it
- Recognize the difference between a habit and a hijack
- Cultivate your ability to be present to your uncomfortable emotions so that you have less need to distract yourself from them – so that they start to change
Is it like this for you?
Did you ever promise yourself that you were never going to do ____ again? And then find yourself doing it? And then fall victim to an inner critic attack calling you “disgusting” and “hopeless” – or worse? And then think: “I might as well do it some more since I am so worthless anyway…”
Despite careful plans and good intentions, the urge to indulge can hijack us into doing something that we’re sorry for later. That plus self-blame and criticism can become a vicious cycle of unhealthy behavior plus painful feelings.
And this often seems to happen at transition points in the day… when waking up, when arriving home after work, at bedtime…
I Know, I’ve Been There…
For me, it’s usually when I am tired, at the end of a long day, that I can’t resist that bag of potato chips. I eat it all – and then instead of feeling good, I feel angry at myself for “pigging out” – and despair of this habit ever changing.
But that doesn’t happen these days. Now, I know some ways to stay present when the temptation to soothe myself with old unhealthy habits comes up. More often than not, I now choose to do some knitting – or some Focusing – instead of eating the chips. I’ve learned how to sense in my body for what needs soothing and care – and what kind of soothing it really needs.
And most amazing of all, I learned to do this without activating an inner critical voice to scold me or make me feel bad… Which I know just makes things worse.
Three modules – Each introduces one or two new skills you can use to transform how you handle your urge to indulge.
Why We Indulge
There is always something else underneath the urge to indulge – feelings like sadness or overwhelm, or some need like rest or self-care. We’ll explore how to make contact with the part of you that “does it” so you have a healing inner relationship that can shift both how you feel and what you do, without self-shaming.
The Hijack and the Backlash
One big issue with the Urge to Indulge is that you often find yourself already doing it, or already having done it, before you’re aware you had a choice. That’s called “hijack” — and we’ll learn how to defuse hijack before it starts. Then there is “backlash” — that wave of shame and self-hate that comes afterward. And that too can shift — forever!
Resolving the War Over Feelings
The war over feelings is the struggle to not feel what you feel. Sometimes we don’t want to feel what’s hard…but not allowing what you feel comes at a great cost. We’ll discover ways to be with challenging feelings so they don’t get stuck and you can move forward with your life.
About Your Teacher
Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help people learn to listen compassionately to all the inner voices. Along the way, Ann and Barbara developed a radical new process for relating to the self-blaming voices inside them. It changed their lives, and it became their mission to help others transform as well.
For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With The Urge to Indulge on-demand course, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice the simple, yet revolutionary process of Focusing with her gentle, compassionate guidance.
Ann is the author of Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change, The Power of Focusing, and The Radical Acceptance of Everything. Today she is internationally recognized as one of the leading innovators and theoreticians of Focusing.
This Course Could Be Right For You If…
- You struggle with the urge to indulge, and you’d like to get beyond it to a more peaceful, more empowered life
- You know there is a way to change without shaming yourself, but you don’t know how yet
- You feel a strong commitment to your own emotional healing and beautiful full life
- The real reason why those transition points in the day are the most vulnerable times for the urge to indulge
- What the part of you that indulges has probably been trying to protect you from… And why it doesn’t have to
- How to push the pause button on the urge to indulge without activating self-blame
- When you do start beating yourself up, how to shift that shaming voice into a loving inner protector
- How to shift awareness from the struggle on the surface to what’s calling for your attention, deep down
How You’ll Learn
- This is a three-lesson, video-based course taught through an online course platform.
- Every lesson offers two new guided exercises, plus life-changing information about what is really possible for you
- All the information and all the exercises are in beautiful handouts designed just for this course
- You get plenty of opportunities to share your experiences and ask questions – if you want to
Your Digital Workbook
The Urge to Indulge On-Demand Course
3-week on-demand video course
Unlimited, lifetime access
Access to our online forum
Get 6 Powerful Guided Exercises:
- Becoming Aware of What Happens
- The Part of You That Indulges – and What that Part Wants for You
- Shifting the Shame
- In the Moment of Hijack
- Allowing the Disallowed Feelings
- Living with Clarity and Presence
- And much, much more…
Note: This is an on-demand course. Video was recorded during an actual live course and has been edited. Sound quality may vary
Learn Wherever You Like
This course is accessible by computer, tablet, or smart phone. If you can connect to the internet, you can connect to this course!
Be Supported In Your Process!
You won’t be going it alone! You’ll have access to a forum to chat with other students, plus access to Ann for parts where you might feel stuck
Available at Your Convenience!
You can move through this course as quickly or slowly as you like. You’ll also have lifetime access to the material, so you can revisit it anytime
This course includes a beautiful PDF workbook to help you integrate your learning. There will also be checkpoints during the course to check-in on your progress.
What People Are Saying
- Micheline G."I was drawn to the Urge to Indulge because I've lived my life like a yo-yo on a string( up and down I went) because of my relationship with food. I hoped to get to a place where I could get some awareness of the cycle that was controlling my life and limiting me from enjoying my life. I thought I knew how to control it. I was wrong. It was disappointment after disappointment. In this course, I became aware that the key was to have a genuine relationship with the parts of me that want to indulge. I learned to "pause" and be in awareness and through that I found a sacred space where I could rest and connect with all of my parts. Now, I am more present and accepting, better able to be with all the feelings that come."
- Agnès V."The Urge to Indulge was the first time I heard anyone talk about the motivations of the reacting parts inside. I knew the course was making a difference for me when I realized how my feelings were all tangled up inside me, like a chain reaction. I'd been trying to sort them out one by one and it wasn't working because these were not separate matters but one huge interconnected thing. That was a revelation to me and a great relief. It's been several weeks since the end of the course and I have more awareness. I am able to disidentify a little more each day from all my reactions. I feel supported in moving forward. Yes, it's still messy and I can watch the mess and understand it in the context of a larger picture."
How am I going to fit this into my life right now?
The great news is that you can take this course whenever it works for you. You get content when you want it, plus lifetime access. No stressing out about being somewhere on time. Way less pressure to move through the material at a pace that might not fit for you. The lessons are compact and set up so that you can do them in small bites or big chunks depending on your learning style and your availability.
Do I get access to the course all at once?
No. You’ll have access to the first Module of the course as soon as you sign up. Every 7 days, you’ll get a new module released to you. We provide the content in ‘small bites’ like this because taking time to practice the material and move forward in small, consistent steps supports you in making the kinds of changes you really want to make.
Tell me more about the classroom environment and how course content is provided?
Sure. The classroom is virtual. You’ll get access to the course platform right after registering. Materials are provided via a combination of video, audio slideshows, and written content to cover a variety of learning styles. There is a forum so you can connect with other program participants and be part of a dynamic learning community. And you get lifetime access to all of it. Go through it once and come back anytime you need some extra support to handle life!
Can My Friend and I Share the Course?
Thanks for asking. Each course is licensed to a single user – you! While we can’t authorize you to share the materials, we’d love to have your friend participate too. Please feel free to invite them to sign up too!