Focusing with Specific Issues
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Colin writes: “I would be grateful for more specific advice on using Focusing with specific issues. In other words, rather than clearing space to sense what’s there, deliberately introducing an issue into that space and then waiting on a response – a bit like throwing a stone into a still pond and reading the runes of the ripples caused!”
Dear Colin: I don’t do clearing space, but I still know what you mean. There’s a way of starting Focusing by being open to whatever arises, and that’s a lovely way to start. But if you ONLY know that way, you’re missing one of the great uses of Focusing, which is to address particular issues in one’s life.
Some of my most successful and satisfying uses of Focusing started with a particular issue. Something in my life didn’t feel right, felt blocked, wrong somehow, and I sat down to Focus on that.
My favorite story is the one about my “writer’s block.” I was so frustrated at not writing even though I yearned to write. Just Focusing on how bad it felt, or how frustrated I was, had yielded no change. So finally I sat down to Focus and invited “the part of me that doesn’t want to write.”
Then I waited… sensing in that middle body area, throat, chest, stomach, belly.
Pretty soon I began to feel a tightness, kind of like a band, across my chest. I stayed with it, and symbolized it, and kept checking what came back with it. The session led to a big shift in my writing… after I found out that the part of me that didn’t want to write was trying to protect my from my father’s sarcasm.
Felt senses are always situational, they are of something. Even if we don’t always know what that is. So of course we can invite a felt sense… of anything… a person, an issue, a work project, a creative project. The key is to be there, invite, and wait.
Focusing with “Unfinished Business”
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Here is an exercise I do with my classes, that helps people practice this “Focusing with an issue.”
First sense for an area of your life where there is some “unfinished business.” This could be a incident or event that still bothers you even though logically it shouldn’t, or a relationship that feels “edgy” for some reason you don’t understand. It doesn’t have to be important… just real.
Now take time to bring awareness to your body and invite a sense of the whole thing. Remember, that takes a bit of time to form. You may have some “story” there, all the things you usually tell yourself about all this. See if you can let that be there AND sense for the not-yet-known, not-yet-in-words about this whole thing.
When there is “something” there, take your time. Slowly offer it possible symbols that might capture how it feels. By “symbols” I mean words, phrases, metaphors, “what it’s like.” This morning I had one that was “like a lump of undigested oatmeal.”
Finding symbols and staying with the felt sense is a dynamic, interactive process that contains richness and intricacy. What helps me the most with this is when I am willing to “not know” what all this means or where it is going. I let my body lead the way: what fits, what feels satisfyingly right… and also what isn’t quite there yet.