The Inner Child and Focusing
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Someone writes: "When some Focusing writers talk about ‘inner child’ issues they say there is no need to offer help or reassurance, and the only thing you have to do is give this part compassionate attention. I wonder about this because I’ve gotten such good responses from inviting clients to give help to ‘inner children’. Can you say more about this?"
When we’re Focusing, some parts or aspects of us can appear like children. (They can also appear like animals of all sorts, rocks, walls, doors… many possibilities!)
When a part of us appears like a child we might be tempted to make an assumption that this ‘inner child’ needs something, and it would be right to give that to it… whether that is love, reassurance, a hug, a cuddle, or something else.
But the truth is, in all cases with Focusing, it’s not a good idea to make assumptions!
The first thing I would do, as the Companion to a session in which an ‘inner child’ appears, is give this lovely invitation that I learned from Barbara McGavin: "You might sense what kind of contact it would like from you." After all, contact comes before anything else, and our inner places can be very different from each other in terms of what kinds of contact they are ready for. Some may ask for closeness right away… others want a respectful distance.
The relationship of the Focuser (or client) to his or her own inner experience is ideally that of a listener. Give empathy first, and the process itself will lead the way, will tell you what IT wants and needs.
What is needed is what has been missing. Whether that is an inner cuddle, or reassurance, or listening… remains to be discovered, and perhaps is fresh and unique each time.
Free Phone Seminar on Focusing and Sleep
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Do you have trouble falling asleep? Or trouble falling back asleep when you wake in the night? Does your mind keep going even when your body is exhausted? Do you wish you could find natural ways to tap into your body’s sleep rhythms without drugs?
Join me and my special guests, Robin Kappy and Susan Rudnick, as I interview them on their remarkable program for helping people develop skills for moving into deeper levels of rest… and Focusing is at the heart of it. It’s a whole hour, it’s experiential… and it’s free!
How to Participate
Instructions for joining the free conference call on Focusing with Sleep Issues can be found at my website, focusingresources.com. While you’re there, why not have a look around at the other articles and information we have… including the four previous free calls, on Decisions, Focusing in Daily Life, Releasing Blocks to Action, and Focusing with Pain and Physical Symptoms.
The Date and Time
The call will be on Saturday, October 13, at 9:00 AM Pacific time, for one hour. Only the first hundred callers can join, so please be on time! That’s 10:00 AM Mountain time, 11:00 AM Central time, 12 noon Eastern time, 5:00 PM in the UK and Ireland, and 6:00 PM in the rest of Europe.
If you can’t make the call at this time, just check the website the next day for the code to hear it in full. You just won’t be able to interact live and ask your questions.