December 8 2009 – Tip #206

December 8 2009 – Tip #206
February 7, 2010 Ann Weiser Cornell

"Is there such a thing as too much use of the word 'something'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David writes: "I am coming to a good understanding of the power of the
word 'something' and its fundamental importance in focusing. But what I
am noticing is that once a part has revealed itself, the use of the
word 'something' could create confusion or take the focuser away from
what has been identified.

"Is there such a thing as too much use of the word 'something'?"

Dear David,
I do love the word "something." It has at least two very important uses in Focusing.

One
is to hold a place where there is no other description yet. We need to
be able to do that, because in Focusing we stay with the vague and
unclear.

For example, if I am with a Focuser who is shaking her
head, pointing to her throat, and saying, "I don't how I would describe
this feeling in here," I might say simply, "You're feeling something, there in your throat." I stretch out the word, I don't just say "you're feeling something," I say, "You're feeling something." Hear the difference? Something is there. Now that it's there, it can be felt without being labeled. And that's good.

The
other important and powerful use of something is for not identifying
with your emotional states. So when a Focuser says, "I am so upset," it
can be helpful to say, "You're sensing something in you is SO UPSET."
(Not to minimize the feelings, I may say them with the same force that
the person used… and they are "something in you" not "all of you.")




When "something" gets in the way
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I
love saying "something in you," but I don't keep saying it. I say it
once, and then I start matching the Focuser's language, which is
usually "it."

Focuser: "I am so upset!"

Ann: "You're sensing something in you is SO UPSET!"

Focuser: "Yes, I'm feeling it here, this tension in my gut."

Ann: "You're feeling it like a tension there in your gut."

Focuser: "It's loosening a bit."

Ann: "You sense it loosening a bit."

See how that works? I said "something in you" once, and I don't keep saying it. The Focuser switched to "it," and so did I.

If I had kept on saying "something," it would sound like I thought they were finding something new. "Something is loosening a bit." "No, IT'S loosening a bit, the same one!"

"It"
is the most usual pronoun for "something." But if the Focuser said
"he," or "she," or "this place," or "this," I would say the same thing.
It's so easy to match the Focuser's language. Not much to remember at
all!

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