21 Days to Better Boundaries

An emotionally intelligent guide to setting boundaries with clarity, confidence, and kindness…

21 days to better boundaries ebook

Only Say Yes When You Mean It!

21 Days to Better Boundaries by Ann Weiser Cornell

If you want to set better boundaries in your life, maintain good relationships, and feel connected to yourself and other people, but you aren’t really sure how to do it…let me show you how! With this book, you’ll learn to identify healthy boundaries and develop the skills to set them with kindness and clarity.

Note: This is a book format of an on-demand course we also teach (previously called 21 Days to Healthier Boundaries).

Do You Struggle to Set Healthy Boundaries?

Having good boundaries is a practice. You can develop your “good boundary superpowers” over time. (That’s why I wrote this book.) And it’s easy to get off track – to worry about being rejected, hurting the other person, and feeling like it’s unsafe to say what you need or want.

Maybe you start out with the best intentions to set boundaries. You plan and think about what would be right. Yet, when it’s time to take action, you tell yourself, “It’s not that bad…” And then end up giving in to a request that doesn’t feel right for you.

It’s easy to fall back into the habit of putting your own needs and feelings last.

If you want a straightforward, step-by-step process you can use to be empowered setting your boundaries – to feel less guilt, frustration, or fear… If you want to finally know what you need and how to ask for it in a way that works for you, then 21 Days to Better Boundaries is for you.

21 Days to Healthier Boundaries

You’ll learn how to:

  • Say no without making explanations or excuses…
  • Say no when you know you could help, but it isn’t the right thing for you…
  • Say no when someone really wants something you don’t want to do…
  • Say no and worry less about being liked or seeking approval…
  • Say no without getting lost in fear, guilt, or feeling selfish…
  • Say no with kindness and compassion…
  • Say yes to time and space for your own priorities…

“Every no is really a yes to something else.”

― Ann Weiser Cornell

A Look Inside 21 Days to Better Boundaries

Prefer Paperbacks? We’ve got you covered…

21 Days to Better Boundaries is also available as a lovely book you can hold in your hands.

134 pages, 5.5″ x 8.5″

$12.99 (plus any applicable taxes, shipping, and handling)

21 Days to Better Boundaries e-book audio support


Get audio exercises to support your reading…

If you prefer to listen to guided exercises, we’ve made that possible for you. Just buy the book on Amazon and then purchase the audio exercises here. You’ll receive a file with MP3 links to all the exercises included in the book.

Some of the Practices in this Book:

  • The Most Important Boundary to Set First
  • Your Right to Honor Your Own Needs
  • Setting Boundaries without Anger, Blaming, Excuses, or Apologies
  • Saying No Without Fear of Being Abandoned and Alone
  • Saying No Without Feeling Guilty or Selfish
  • When Your Trauma History is Involved
  • How Healthy Boundaries Help Us Connect Well with Others
  • How Introverts Can Set Boundaries
  • Setting Boundaries with Yourself (Not Working “Too Hard”)
  • Clear Communicating that Takes the Other into Account
  • And eleven more!

Have questions about digital download products? Click here for our FAQs.

What People Are Saying

(these endorsements are for the on-demand course version of this book)

“I’ve always had some difficulty asserting my needs and values. It’s frustrating to not stand my ground and come through for myself. Just a few days ago I ‘caved’ on leaving a Zoom meeting when it no longer felt worthwhile. I might have gotten down on myself about that before… But this time, I saw the pattern clearly and acknowledged my feelings, which was far more constructive. I’m pretty confident that I’ll take better care of myself next time and leave when it feels right.” Bob H.

“My biggest challenge was saying YES to do something for others when I felt it would be hard or inconvenient. Or I’d be giving up events and rest time that I wanted. I’d criticize myself over this and feel even more tired and inadequate. I used the hints in Healthier Boundaries to say things to myself that helped me bring balance to the pull between yes and no. I had a better sense of MY boundaries and how they could be viewed in different situations. It’s been the best gift I’ve given to myself – the ease and freedom to live my life feels amazing.” Diane B.

“Before Healthier Boundaries, I wasn’t very aware of the boundaries between me and other people. This left me feeling clueless when problems arose. Now, I have an excellent framework for understanding healthy boundaries. I feel much more confident in my relationships. I can communicate more easily and resolve difficult situations.” M.H.

“My biggest challenge before Healthier Boundaries was knowing that my needs matter as much as the needs of others and that left me feeling ugh–frustrated. I got clarity about the parts of me that don’t think my needs matter. I also got some really great tips for setting boundaries and realized that people want to know what we need and what our boundaries are (I’m still working on taking that in!). Ann is amazing and wise and I LOVE the practices!” Annie Mahon

“Ann makes difficult stuff about the boundaries between people and the boundaries inside yourself wonderfully simple.” J.J.

“I didn’t know how to set boundaries. Now, I’m more aware of who I am, what my needs are, and that I have a right to have my needs met…just as much as anyone else. I’m more at peace and confident in my choices and in my interactions with others. This opened up so much for me.” Micheline G.

“Before I’d find myself giving in to the requests and demands of others. This left me feeling uncomfortable, tense, and at times resentful. Now, I can maintain needed boundaries and I have tools to work with the parts of myself that are still inclined to give in to requests I’d rather not comply with. One of the best things is the experiential exercises that help you develop your ability to state your boundaries firmly and compassionately.” Charles F. Herr, Ph.D.

About the Author

Ann Weiser Cornell

Ann Weiser Cornell created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help people learn to listen compassionately to all the inner voices, including the self-blaming ones. It changed their lives, and it became their mission to help others transform as well.

For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With 21 Days to Healthier Boundaries, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice a clear way of setting boundaries with her gentle, compassionate guidance.

Ann is the author of Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change, The Power of Focusing, and The Radical Acceptance of Everything. Today she is internationally recognized as one of the leading innovators and theoreticians of Focusing.