Join Ann Weiser Cornell and Barbara McGavin for A Year of Untangling®
“Inside a Tangle, no road leads to freedom. There are dead ends everywhere. Resolution is literally impossible at that level. Everything you try just keeps you even more stuck.”
– Barbara McGavin
Do you feel like the life you know you should be living is frustratingly out of reach?
It’s not uncommon to feel like there’s an unbridgeable gap between how you want your life to be and how it is now. Despite your determination and all the hard work you’ve put in to change your life, there are places where you’re still impossibly stuck.
Perhaps you’ve tried everything you can think of to get free. Being logical. Getting help. Working really hard. Even just giving up and settling for how things are. But none of that works. You feel as “up against it” and hopeless as ever. And you probably also feel inadequate, defective, and worthless… at least some of the time.
But there’s hope…
You might be surprised to hear that there isn’t anything wrong with you. You aren’t defective or inadequate. Something is keeping you stuck.
You have a Tangle.
Oddly, your Tangle actually makes sense. It’s created by the life-saving attempts by different Parts of you to deal with an impossible situation. Unfortunately, their efforts are mutually self-defeating.
No wonder you have confusing inner conflicts (such as feeling both “I want to and I don’t want to…” at the same time) and undermining beliefs (such as “I’m not the kind of person who can…”).
Everything your Parts have tried to get free from your Tangle have probably just made it worse.
When you’re inside a Tangle, all your thoughts and ideas, all your actions come from Parts. Parts can’t get us free from Tangles. They create and maintain Tangles! All the strategies of Parts just dig us in deeper.
No wonder this all feels so impossible!
We get it and we're here to help you.
We (Barbara and Ann) developed the Untangling® method over more than 25 years of research into what really does work.
We created Untangling® when we were facing impossibly tough life issues that were holding us back and resisted all attempts at change. We both desperately needed something that would get us free.
What we learned from our experience, first with ourselves and then with our clients, made us rethink everything we knew about trauma and change… and Focusing. Combined with our deep study of Gendlin’s ground-breaking Philosophy of the Implicit, the result was Untangling® – a powerful set of processes to untangle any Tangle.
We’d like to give you our guidance through the impossibly tough issues you’re facing so you can live the life you long to live.
What is Getting Free: A Year of Untangling® all about?
Getting Free is our first program to support you through a whole year of Untangling®.
Tangles are tough. Untangling® needs time. Time for learning new powers, trying them out in your life, and getting help with your questions and challenges as you practice your new skills. It’s really important to have steady, ongoing support so that these new ways of living can take root.
In this program, you’ll be with the two of us AND with a community of other Untanglers for inspiration and encouragement. We’ve carefully designed it that way. You’ll learn our whole method (and our cutting-edge theory), but most importantly, you’ll have personalized support for your ongoing journey with your Tangles.
What’s amazing: when your Tangle shifts, everything shifts.
Your life opens up in surprising ways. Delightful. Unpredictable. Easeful. Satisfying. Ways that were impossible to imagine from inside your Tangle.
You feel more at ease being yourself. You free your abilities and gifts so that you are effortlessly more authentic, creative, emotionally available, playful, loving, compassionate…
Best of all, you have what you need to meet new Tangles as you encounter them. More fully and freely yourself and confident in your ability to meet new Tangles. What could be better than that?
“I used to feel lost, frustrated, and hopeless at times because it was hard for me to be in touch with my inner life to the degree and with the quality I wanted. I now have hope and confidence that I can find resolutions – ones I never could’ve imagined – to the issues in my life and how I hold them.”
– Annie F.
3 Steps to Getting Free
This is advanced training: You’ll need four Levels of Focusing (now taught under the name Path to Lasting Change, Parts One and Two), or a 6-day Treasure Maps retreat, in order to join us.
“Being healthy isn’t having no problems, it’s having new problems.”
– Gene Gendlin
Seasons of Change
Tangles are tough. They tie you up in knots. They are mystifying, frustrating and confusing. No wonder you end up feeling desperate and discouraged. To engage with your Tangle at the level that brings real change, you need to radically strengthen your Powers of Presence. By the end of Base Camp, you will be well equipped to move to the next level of Untangling®.
March 16 – Taking up the Challenge
March 23 – Showing Up as Your Biggest Self
April 6 – As Big as Montana
April 20 – Deeply Listening
May 4 -Deeply Understanding
May 18 – Deeply Loving
Into the Maze
In a Tangle, things are not what they seem. Tangles can fool you. Being entangled is like being lost in a maze. You think you’ve finally found the way out and then realize you’re actually going around in circles. There are dead ends everywhere. During this season, you learn the keys to unlocking the secrets of the maze. You gain the clarity and spaciousness to be able to spend time with the deep places that really need attention. You discover that every dead end is actually a doorway to transformation.
June 1 – Lost in the Maze
June 15 – “Did I just do that?”
June 29 – “Who’s pulling my strings?”
July 13 – “Who’s that hiding in the bushes?”
July 27 – “This is never going to work!”
August 10 – Widening the Horizon of Possibility
Diving Beneath the Surface
For a Tangle to untangle, you need to dive deep, to the heart of the Tangle. At these depths, you find wounded and struggling parts of you clustered around a frozen core. You become the compassionate healing environment that these wounded parts need. You’re able to bear what has been unbearable. As you sense the frozen core of the Tangle directly, it melts, and the life within is released. Profound change follows spontaneously.
August 31 – Diving Deep
September 14 – Desperately Evading the Abyss
September 28 – True Love
October 12 – Touching the Frozen Core
October 26 – Dancing with the Dragon of Despair
November 9 – Life Emerging
Into the World
As your Tangles untangle, every area of your life starts to open in unexpected ways. Whether it’s in your work, or your relationships or your creative endeavors, you are freer and you encounter new challenges. You can embrace your new challenges as precious opportunities for even more growth. Living with greater freedom and greater scope, you feel strong and confident in your powers, able to go out into the world — and deep into yourself — to meet what life will bring.
November 30 – Easier – and Harder
December 14 – It Takes Two to Tangle
January 11 – Dancing with the Mystery
January 25 – Life Beyond Tangles?
February 8 – Bring It On, World!
February 22– Getting Free
Taking up the Challenge
As you begin “base camp” you take up the challenge of strengthening your Powers of Presence and begin engaging with your Tangles. You meet fellow “Untanglers” who share your journey through the rocky and steep roads ahead, and you begin to get to know your Tangle.
Showing Up as Your Biggest Self
Tangles need you to be larger than they are. You develop your ability to stay grounded in Self-in-Presence as you interact with your Tangle. You cultivate inner and outer resources that strengthen your ability to engage with your Tangle as your largest Self. You learn what to do when embodying Self-in-Presence is hard.
As Big as Montana
Tangles are always multi-parted. This week, you develop your ability to become the space that the Parts in your Tangle need. This enables multiple Parts to be welcomed and equally valued… so that the next steps can happen.
The Parts in your Tangle need empathy and relationship. During the next three meetings we will be exploring the Power of Deep Empathy. With this Power, you’re able to relate to the Parts that you find in your Tangle in the way that each Part needs so that something radically new can happen.
This week, we focus on how to enable Parts to express their deepest fears and hopes for you.
Different kinds of Parts present different kinds of challenges to you as Self-in-Presence. Those Parts are faced with different kinds of challenges themselves. This week we explore what Protector and Defender-type Parts are like, how they behave, and how to respond to the different kinds of challenges they present.
This week, you go even deeper. You learn about the qualities and needs of a third type of Part, the Small One. You explore the transformational power of developing a relationship with any Part, especially with Small Ones. And you get ready to transition into the next season, which is about the tough things Parts in a Tangle put you through, and how to meet those challenges.
Into the Maze
Lost in the Maze
When you are inside a Tangle, “hijacks” and “takeovers” by Parts are everywhere. It’s confusing to know where you are, what is happening, and what can be trusted. You’ll learn to recognize these patterns so you grow in your ability to respond when you find yourself entangled in them.
“Did I just do that?”
Sometimes you become identified with a Defender or Small One so quickly that you find yourself acting before there is any reflective awareness as Self-in-Presence. We call that being “hijacked.” You’ll learn how to recognize when that’s happening and how to cultivate Self-in-Presence so that you are in the driver’s seat instead of being driven by a Part. You’ll develop your ability to create a relationship with hijacking Parts so that hijack happens less and less often.
“Who’s pulling my strings?”
When a Protector takes over, its beliefs and feelings can seem to be our own. Protectors can hide in plain sight by masquerading as Self-in-Presence. You learn how to recognize and respond to these “takeovers” so that worried Protector Parts get the kind of relationship they truly need in order to transform.
“Who’s that hiding in the bushes?”
Many things that are mysterious about our Tangles become clear when we realize that some Parts are operating invisibly. In a Tangle, Parts can have impacts and effects without our being able to perceive them directly. You learn how to detect invisible Parts and how to develop relationships with them so they can transform.
“This is never going to work!”
Many Parts are scared of what might happen if you get close to the core of the Tangle. They have lots of strategies to stop you in your tracks, including saying, “This is never going to work.” You learn to recognize their strategies and cultivate relationships with these worried Parts so that they trust you to be OK as you get near the core of the Tangle.
Widening the Horizon of Possibility
You further develop your capacity to be a wide open space, a welcoming environment where your whole Tangle can be just as it is. You learn how to get a felt sense of your whole Tangle. A fresh experience of how the whole thing is now forms. You are, in this new moment, already living beyond the Tangle in ways that couldn’t happen before.
Diving Beneath the Surface
As you find your way to the core of a Tangle, you encounter Parts that have been frozen in time, unable to live forward. In this season, you’ll strengthen your capacity to be the Transformational Environment of Self-in-Presence for what feels impossibly stuck. You learn how to take each of the Powers of Presence to a deeper level so that you can provide what these Parts need and fill in what they are missing.
Desperately Evading the Abyss
When a desperate Small One gets loose in the world, and sees a chance to get what it longs for, it can behave in ways that disregard both reality and other people. You’ll learn why trying to give a desperate Small One what it believes it needs keeps you trapped in the Tangle… and how to be what the Small One really needs instead.
Trauma is at the heart of every Tangle. A key element of Untangling is becoming the healing environment for what has been traumatized. Discover how to create a trustworthy relationship with Parts that are frozen, still living in the time of the trauma. And learn a way of responding to them that enables them to live forward again.
Touching the Frozen Core
As you dive deep to the core of the Tangle, you come to an experience we call the Point of Stoppage. You’ll learn about the nature of the Point of Stoppage and why treating it as a Part will be ineffective – and what to do instead. When you can bring awareness to what has not yet been formed, and stand how uncomfortable that is, whole system shifts become possible.
Dancing with the Dragon of Despair
When Parts have been struggling for what seems like forever to get out of a Tangle, they can become deeply discouraged and despairing. They are afraid the reality is this is never going to change. That you are essentially broken and can never heal. That you don’t have what it takes to live fully and freely. As you learn to dance with these Dragons, they begin to hope again.
Your unlived life has always been ready to live forward again. It’s just been waiting for the right conditions. The good news is that you can create those conditions. Using the Powers of Presence, you meet the needs of your entangled Parts. You hold a space for new life to emerge. As you begin to live beyond the Tangle, you sense what is possible now that was not possible before.
Into the World
Easier – and Harder
As your Tangle loosens, some things will get easier, allowing you to welcome bigger challenges in your life. As you develop your ability to meet the new challenges that arise when life starts to get more free, your confidence in your ability to encounter new problems grows. You now know that what seems to be a setback is a precious opportunity for further growth.
It Takes Two to Tangle
Tangles always involve other people. Everybody has Parts. In our closest relationships, our Parts often mutually entangle. You learn to recognize when things in a relationship are getting “Parts-y.” You learn how to stay grounded or return to Self-in-Presence when Parts get triggered.
Dancing with the Mystery
Every interaction you have is a fabulous opportunity for relating from Self-in-Presence to the other person’s largest Self. As you live more and more from Self-in-Presence, you experience the difference between Parts-y reactions and being responsive. You’ll know from your core that taking responsibility for your actions includes taking responsibility for the actions of your Parts.
Life Beyond Tangles?
Is there such a thing as life beyond Tangles? Well, it’s not “everything is easy now.” It is not being all done and finished. It’s not Nirvana, or Heaven. It doesn’t mean getting everything you want. Perhaps life beyond Tangles is really two things: Living your whole life more and more from Self-in-Presence, and having the capacity to respond to stoppages as they occur so that interaction becomes freely available again.
Bring It On, World!
As you live from Self-in-Presence more and more, you can be comfortable with being uncomfortable. When Parts arise (and they will), you recognize they are there and are able to turn toward them. Your capacity to enter into and engage with life – whatever happens – deepens and strengthens.
Profound transformation happens in magical and paradoxical ways, unpredictably yet always in the direction of living freely. Doing this work in community is deeply nourishing. During this year you have created connections that can sustain and support you as you go forward. When your Tangle shifts, your life opens up in surprising ways. You free your abilities and gifts so that you are effortlessly more authentic, creative, emotionally available, playful, loving, compassionate…
“In every tough situation I can be curious. Even in the hardest times, I know I’m OK.”
– Ann Weiser Cornell
Are You Ready to Get Free?
You Can Start by Registering Here
Save $250: Early Registration Price $2250 until February 23rd!
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Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
Dates: March 16, 2021 to February 22, 2022
Time: 24 Tuesdays; 9:30 AM to 11:30 AM Pacific
Taught by Ann Weiser Cornell and Barbara McGavin
Payment and additional details
Cost: $2250 through end of day February 23, $2500 after
Don’t Miss Out: The last day to register is March 9
Installment Plans: You may choose to pay in 6 or 12 equal monthly payments. Payment options display during checkout and include a $225 processing fee for 6 pay option or $390 processing fee for 12 pay option. Installments are processed every 30 days. PayPal is not available for this payment option.
This is advanced training: You’ll need Your Path to Lasting Change, Part Two, Focusing Level Four, or a 6-day Treasure Maps retreat, in order to join us.
Want to know more? Listen to our free webinar recording…
Want to find out more about how Getting Free can help you step into your calm, confident, courageous life? Just click here to email to schedule a chat with Ann Weiser Cornell, or you may want to watch a recording of our free webinar…
More about our free 90-minute Open House Webinar:
You will learn:
- Why some areas of our lives resist change and stay stuck no matter what we try
- How to create an environment of change instead of trying to change
- A view of stages and layers: Why working with deeply entrenched Tangles takes time
We will also talk about the Getting Free: A Year of Untangling™ program and answer your questions about whether it is right for you.
The 5 Powers of Untangling
What People Are Saying…
The testimonials below are about our Untangling work, which we offer in six-day retreats and in the Getting Free course.
- Annie F."I used to feel lost, frustrated, and hopeless at times because it was hard for me to be in touch with my inner life to the degree and with the quality I wanted. I now have hope and confidence that I can find resolutions - ones I never could've imagined - to the issues in my life and how I hold them."
- Charles Herr"Getting Free touched my conflicts and my experience of myself more completely and deeply than any other Focusing course. Before the course, I'd been putting things off that needed to be done and things I wanted to accomplish. That left me feeling frustrated and puzzled. During the course, I became aware of how I was holding myself back from living fully. And I became more aware of and better able to be with the parts of my tangle from a calm sense of self. Now, I feel greater comfort and ease."
- L.B."Before Getting Free, I avoided certain emotions like pain and hurt. And trying to 'make sense of it all' was elusive. That left me feeling overwhelmed, resigned, and trying various things hoping something would stick. Now, I have a framework to 'hold it all' - the parts that don't want me to feel something, parts that use well-worn strategies, and parts that are frozen in time unable to tell the past from the present. The wounds of my past are still there, but there's also a clear sense of direction that I find helpful. This course has been such a catalyst in my healing journey."
- Nati Porat"I'd been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and frightened of navigating ongoing patterns and life issues. That left me feeling anxious and disconnected from myself. In the course, I developed a true understanding of the layers of experience at play in my psyche. It felt like turning a light on inside and really seeing what's been hidden from view. Now, I have more self-compassion and a sense of myself as able to be a container for all that's there. Getting Free helps you gain a deep, authentic, and experiential understanding of patterns, blocks, beliefs, defenses, and behaviors that, until now, have been activating and shaping life unconsciously. That awareness enables you to live forward in a new way."
- Ann M."Before Getting Free I was dealing with low self-esteem and a part of me that felt fearful of life. The course helped me gain more awareness of Self-in-Presence and understanding of my fearful part. Now, I'm happier. I smile more and I can greet others with an open heart."
About the Teachers
Ann Weiser Cornell
Ann Weiser Cornell struggled with painful addiction, anxiety in social situations, and an inability to do the thing she most wanted to do – write.
Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help alleviate the thinking and feeling cycles that kept her stuck in hard places. It changed her life, and it became her mission to help others create quiet miracles in their lives too.
For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world.
Barbara McGavin’s greatest joy is exploring the frontiers of the Focusing process – what it is and how it can be applied in daily life.
Since 1991, she has been developing Inner Relationship Focusing with Ann Weiser Cornell. Since 1994, the two of them have been exploring Focusing in some of the most difficult areas of life. Untangling™ has grown out of this and is the core of Barbara’s own Focusing practice.
Barbara’s other great interest is in how Focusing can be used in the creative arts. She has developed a process called From Spark to Beacon to help people develop and release their creative capacities.
How Online Courses Work
We use Zoom, an online video conference platform, to connect you to other students and the teacher. Before the class starts you will receive a Zoom link to use each time the class meets. You can join us via your camera-equipped computer, tablet, or smart phone. Prefer not to be on video? You can turn off your camera. Don’t want to call via computer? You can call in by phone. Zoom is free and easy to use. You will be able to sign on in advance to make sure you can access it, but we’ve had very few problems with it. Students also receive access to a private webpage where course materials can be found.
We use Ruzuku, an online course content platform, to provide your course materials, recordings, and a discussion forum. During the checkout process, you’ll be invited to create a Ruzuku account (if you don’t already have one) or add the course to your existing Ruzuku account. Please be sure to watch for this step and contact our Customer Happiness Manager right away if you don’t see it.
This is advanced training: You’ll need four Levels of Focusing (now taught under the name Path to Lasting Change, Parts One and Two), or a 6-day Treasure Maps retreat, in order to join us.
Continuing Education Credit & Course Completion Certificate
Course meets the qualifications for 48 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and/or LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. Focusing Resources, CAMFT Approved CE Provider #62524.
Focusing Resources is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs, and/or LEPs. Focusing Resources maintains responsibility for this course and its content.
There is a $25 administrative fee for CE units. Course completion certificates are awarded at the end of the course upon completion of all requirements and the course evaluation. (If you don’t want CE units but would like a completion certificate, the $25 fee does still apply.)
Eligibility for CE units requires at least 80% live attendance. Missed classes must be made up.
Cancellations, Changes & Refunds
Until end of day March 31, 2020: We will refund your course fee less the $200 non-refundable portion of your initial payment.
From April 1, 2020 onward: 100% of course fees are non-refundable.
When Something Doesn't Go As You'd Hoped...
We are always open to discussing experiences with our courses that didn’t work for you or didn’t go the way you expected. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to email your course instructor, the staff member in charge of your course, or Ann Weiser Cornell. Email addresses for all these people will be supplied on registration. We will work with you to find a way to meet your needs.
Got Questions? We’ve Got Your Answers…
Do I have to be present for every class? What about recordings?
This is a participatory partnership class and your presence at most of the classes is important, but there is no precise number of classes you need to attend — unless you want CEUs, in which case you need to attend 80% of the classes and make up any missed classes. Every class will be recorded and the recordings will be available to every registered participant.
To respect the confidentiality and privacy of our participants we do not provide video recordings of our classes. All recordings are provided as audio files.
Can I take this course remotely, by listening to recordings?
Yes, that would be possible. You would not be able to receive CEUs but you could participate in class discussions using the online forum, and you would be able to be in partnerships.
How does this compare to the Untangling™ course which was five weeks long?
Whenever we taught that 5-week Untangling™ course (or 10 weeks with Untangling™ 2 added), we wished we had the time and the structure to offer real support over time to the inner journey of the participants. Getting Free is not only longer. It also offers more support and more depth. Because it is an advanced course, requiring either four levels of Focusing training or the 6-day retreat, we are able to work at an advanced level from the start.
How does this compare to the retreats, the 6-day regular retreat, and the 6-day advanced retreat?
There is nothing like meeting in person! We love doing retreats because of the power of an in-person group in a beautiful place in the world. That said, the down-side of a retreat is that you go home in a week… and except for Focusing partnerships and emails, you are basically on your own. We’ve been longing for a way to support people over time to make the Untangling™ process a deep and enduring part of their lives.