At the Crossroads: Finding Your Way to Calm Clear Decisions

Whether You’re…

Facing big decisions that are hard to make and you’d like to explore what’s in the way of being clear

Troubled by past choices you regret and you’d like to feel better about them

Full of self-doubt and agonizing over even the smallest decisions and you’d like to feel more confident about making choices

Join us and take back your power to choose.

Decisions can be tough.

Some decisions feel agonizing. A decision gets made, then self-doubt and second-guesses creep in. It’s easy to end up going around in circles, trying to make lists of pros and cons. But none of it helps.

It can often seem like a decision is a battle between the head and the heart. Rationally, it seems things should go one way, but your feelings pull you in another direction.

As long as the decision hangs over you, you feel stuck, and the sense of frustration over not moving forward adds on to the pain of being undecided.

An important decision shouldn’t be made by either the head or the heart. 

When decisions are hard, it’s because we have multiple parts of us pulling in different directions, making it hard to find a clear way forward.

Each of those parts has something it’s trying to help you with, or trying to protect you from. What seem to be contradictory directions might actually be different ways to get to the same result.

When you understand and acknowledge what each side is trying to help you do and feel, new possibilities often emerge.

Crossroads head or heart

Decisions don’t have to pull us apart…they CAN pull us together again!

Decisions — especially hard ones that create internal conflict — are opportunities. They are profound moments in which two (or more) sides of the self need to be honored and heard in order to move forward from our wholeness.

Often, when it seems there is insoluble conflict, a third way can emerge, one that takes into account the positives of both sides.

In the process, you can get in touch with your deeper needs and values, what really matters to you. You affirm your own power to choose, and move forward, even if what you ultimately decide isn’t perfect.


You’ll learn how to:

  • Be open to the possibility that neither side is completely right…and find out what to do then
  • Deal with that inner sense of urgency or impatience that can actually make the decision more difficult
  • Revisit past decisions that leave you with regrets – so that the feelings of regret release or become milder
  • Discover the experience of flowing, grounded action that emerges from your whole self – and find a new way forward
  • And so much more…

This course is right for you if:

  • You find decisions hard, put them off, or flounder after making them and want to find a better way.
  • You want to make choices with more confidence and feel assured that you’re weighing what’s really important to you in the process.
  • You want to make daily decisions and choices in a way that’s sourced in your embodied “sense of rightness.”

About Your Teacher

Ann Weiser Cornell struggled with painful addiction, anxiety in social situations, and an inability to do the thing she most wanted to do – write.

Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help alleviate the thinking and feeling cycles that kept her stuck in hard places. It changed her life, and it became her mission to help others create quiet miracles in their lives too.

For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With her At the Crossroads on-demand course, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice the simple, yet revolutionary process of Focusing with her gentle, compassionate guidance.

A Personal Note from Ann

One of the biggest decisions in my life was when I decided to move from Chicago to San Francisco in the summer of 1983. From a logical perspective, this choice really seemed like a bad idea. Chicago had so much for me – lots of friends, a Focusing community, my work – and most of all, Gene Gendlin lived there, so it was the center of the world for Focusing. Everything was going so well for me in Chicago.

At the beginning of the year, my boyfriend told me he wanted to live in San Francisco. We discussed it… over, sideways, and backwards… and finally, I said it was clear to me that I needed to be in Chicago.

He said, “OK… so we’ll have a long-distance relationship,” and scheduled the moving van for his things. I was fine with that. It was the “right choice.” I helped him pack, and I waved him goodbye.

Almost immediately after he was gone I began to have a distinct pain in the lower right back. It was so definitely present that I went to see a doctor… but the doctor could find nothing wrong. So I did Focusing with it… and the words came, “Staying in Chicago was the wrong choice.”

I did not want to hear that! Chicago had everything for me. The only thing waiting for me in San Francisco was a boyfriend. No friends, no work, no prospects. I was 33 years old. I hated the idea of starting again, like a student, living with housemates, and doing low-paid work.

But the pain in my lower right back was still there… and every time I did Focusing with it, it showed me the same thing. Me in San Francisco felt good. Me in Chicago felt bad.

So I shifted the question. I asked my body: “What would make it possible for me to do this?”

The answer came: “Start a Focusing newsletter.”

Chicago was the center of the world for Focusing. If I had to leave, I wanted to take a part of the center of the world with me. Focusing was starting to be known worldwide but there was no newsletter, no way for the international community to connect.

I knew nothing about starting or running a newsletter. This was not only before the internet, it was even before personal computers.  Nevertheless, I knew I could do it, absolutely, without question… and starting a newsletter would make it possible, even interesting to go to California. As soon as I made this decision, the pain in my back vanished.

So I, in turn, called up the moving van. I arrived in San Francisco just as my boyfriend found an apartment for the two of us… dark, small, and cheap! To start my newsletter I wrote to thirty-some Focusing people around the world, asking them to help me by contributing articles. (One of them was Barbara McGavin, my first contact with her.) The first issue was published in March 1984, produced by typewriter and rubber stamps.

Thirty years later… The Focusing Connection newsletter is no longer published. But it went for 29 years, connecting the world of Focusing and opening doors for me that I never imagined. Being in the San Francisco Bay Area also opened doors I could never have imagined. Looking back, that was a decision that could not have been more right.

I’m fascinated by the use of Focusing for decisions. Today I make Focusing-based decisions every day. And as in my story, I’ve learned that the key question isn’t always “What is the right thing to do?” Sometimes it’s “What would make this possible?” or “What’s in the way of feeling whole-hearted about this?”

I love sharing what I’ve learned about decisions.

Ann Weiser Cornell

When decisions seem to pull you apart, Focusing can help you come back together again.

Discover the practical steps to making decisions with your whole self. Join us and explore how you can:

Clarify the options and acknowledge your feelings about choosing so emotions don’t overwhelm you and decisions get easier

Find (and receive) the positive gift that each side of a decision offers you – whether you choose it or not!

Make decisions based on your inner sense of rightness so you can break free from the painful cycle of second-guessing yourself later

Enroll for Your Course Here

At the Crossroads On-Demand Course

At the Crossroads On-Demand Course


3-module on-demand video course
Unlimited, lifetime access
Downloadable workbook
Access to our online forum


Get 6 Powerful Guided Exercises:

  • Your Decision
  • The Inner Sense of Rightness
  • Spending Time with the Reluctant Part and the Impatient Part
  • This Much I Do Know
  • The Decision Itself
  • Trusting the Inner Sense of Rightness
  • And much more…

Additional details

This is an on-demand course. Video was recorded during an actual live course and has been edited. Sound quality may vary.

How This Course Works

Learn Wherever You Like

This course is accessible by computer, tablet, or smart phone. If you can connect to the internet, you can connect to this course!

Be Supported In Your Process!

You won’t be going it alone! You’ll have access to a forum to chat with other students, plus access to Ann for parts where you might feel stuck

Available at Your Convenience!

You can move through this course as quickly or slowly as you like. You’ll also have lifetime access to the material, so you can revisit it anytime

Interactive Materials

This course includes a beautiful PDF workbook to help you integrate your learning. There will also be checkpoints during the course to check-in on your progress.

What People Are Saying About At the Crossroads

  • Andrea R.
    "Before At the Crossroads, my biggest challenge was feeling at peace. I often felt like there was too much going on. And decision-making, however big or small, was a nightmare. I recently finished my PhD and need to figure out my next steps. All of that left me feeling scattered, not present, in a constant state of regret, and afraid of making a wrong move. I was anxious for as long as I remember and this showed up in my decision-making. I'd postpone or rush, often regretting choices. This course helped me realize the burden that anxiety was causing me. No wonder going forward was hard when every step was heavy with potential regret. This realization helped me be kinder to myself. I am very grateful to take part in this course!"
  • J.H.D.
    "Before At the Crossroads, my biggest challenge was listening to my Self. That left me feeling invisible and unimportant. After the course, I had a way 'in' so I could listen and take my Self seriously. Now, I take time each day to be with my Self. As a teacher, Ann was clear, well-prepared, and empathic. She lead the group with skill."
  • -Taj
    "Growing up in a family where being ‘right’ was ‘god’, making a decision was, for me, fraught with anxiety.  At The Crossroads is layered with baby steps that showed me how to discover what my body knows about the right decision for me.   So now, I not only have a way out of the anxiety but a way into a truly enjoyable process. I recommend this course to anyone with a current pressing decision and to those who would like to learn an ongoing way of meeting daily decisions."
  • Brenda Shoshanna
    BrendaShoshannaLukeman"This was truly a magical and beautiful experience for me. Ann did a magnificent job presenting, with great clarity, wisdom, and compassion for all. The material was extremely focused, well thought out and touched all the right spots. To my great surprise, it opened many doors that I didn't even realize had been long shut and all kinds of new things kept happening. In fact, the basic decision I had to make was quite different from the one I was grappling with at the beginning. All in all, I recommend both this course and working with Ann wholeheartedly."

How am I going to fit this into my life right now?

The great news is that you can take this course whenever it works for you. You get content when you want it, plus lifetime access. No stressing out about being somewhere on time. Way less pressure to move through the material at a pace that might not fit for you. The lessons are compact and set up so that you can do them in small bites or big chunks depending on your learning style and your availability.

Do I get access to the course all at once?

No. You’ll have access to the first Module of the course as soon as you sign up. Every 7 days, you’ll get a new module released to you. We provide the content in ‘small bites’ like this because taking time to practice the material and move forward in small, consistent steps supports you in making the kinds of changes you really want to make.

Tell me more about the classroom environment and how course content is provided?

Sure. The classroom is virtual. You’ll get access to the course platform right after registering. Materials are provided via a combination of video, audio slideshows, and written content to cover a variety of learning styles. There is a forum so you can connect with other program participants and be part of a dynamic learning community. And you get lifetime access to all of it. Go through it once and come back anytime you need some extra support to handle life!

Can My Friend and I Share the Course?

Thanks for asking. Each course is licensed to a single user – you! While we can’t authorize you to share the materials, we’d love to have your friend participate too. Please feel free to invite them to sign up too!



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