Please use the space below to share your thoughts or ask Ann a question.
24 Comments
Heather Tetlet5 years ago
Good morning Ann, what a helpful video.. I think my wish is similar to yours.. about sharing what we have received that has transformed our lives.. the words came ‘I know where to start’. About how to ‘make it happen’!
For years I ran groups with a well used structure & great teaching, as well as my own experience & enthusiasm, foe it feels as if the old structures are not sufficient, its about Being… Not ‘DoI have enough?’, but ‘Am I Enough?’ Enough full or empty.. but being & then what!
Looking forward to your next video, this has brough5 someth8ng to clearer sight.
Lots of love
Hajah
HI Heather… Great to hear from you… What an important insight, that “Am I enough?” is the key for you. And that it’s about Being!
So that part of you that doubts and questions whether you are enough for your own dream… for the unique dream that is generated out of who you are… that needs compassionate company for what it is really worried will happen if you allow yourself to feel your enough-ness…
I’m one of those people who were brave/stupid enough to actually go after their big dream. Let me tell you how that worked out.
5+ years ago I left my “normal career” for a “creative career”. I had doubts, of course, but I felt like I found my calling, my big dream, and that if I just “take a leap”, then it will somehow work out. I was young and naive, and I guess I listened too much to all those “life coaches” and “inspirational speakers” who make money telling you that you can achieve anything, that “the Universe will support you”, etc.
Well, apparently, the Universe has no desire to support me, because 5+ years on I still haven’t made any money from this “creative career”. And, frankly, I haven’t really achieved much, despite having the talent and trying hard.
It looks like I better cut my losses and get back to the “normal career” while I still can. If I wait a few more years, no one will want to hire me at all.
The thought of going back doesn’t make me feel happy, but at least I will be able to support myself financially again. It’s better than nothing.
So no, it’s not about the doubting voices.
It’s about the fact, that it just didn’t work.
Why didn’t it work for me? It still feels like something I want. But I don’t think I will ever achieve it.
Hi Dreamer – Thanks for sharing your story, I so understand the discouragement. We need our full intelligence to make wise choices, weighing all the factors. It sounds like you’re doing that.
As you’ve learned, “The Universe will support me” is just as much from a “part” as “I don’t deserve to follow my dream.” Neither one should be the one making our life choices.
In my view, something is missing whenever we feel like we have an either-or choice. There is a process for stepping back from what seems to be the either-or… like “I can either earn a living, or I can be creative, but not both.” Each side has something it wants for you… and you can listen to the wanting. It’s a “part” that has the belief that I can only get X by doing Y. I don’t know the answer! I just know that one can step back from the back and white choice and explore “what is wanted” from each side.
I am grateful for listening to this. I am making a big shift in 7 months, a life changing shift and a lot of fear is coming up for me. Listening to this really helped me get in touch with the fear. It was great to understand that that part of me is trying to keep me safe and know to speak to it in a way that respects it but doesn’t let it take me over. Thank you!!
Melanie, I’m so glad it helped! It makes sense to have a part that is around such a big step. Be sure to say “No wonder!” to that fearful part of you, as you give it compassion… and YOU make wise choices.
Thank you so much, Ann! I am a newcomer in the focusing world and so happy to have found you! I am on day 3 of your 5 day Intro Course
and your website is a wonderful resource as I make my way through your 1st book (The power of focusing). This video clears up so much regarding
the fearful and shameful voices that are part of me as I pursue the process of writing my first book.
“Who do you think you are, writing a book?”
” There are enough books out there, why would anyone need yours?”
“You don’t have the skills, much less the contacts to market a book.”
Now I know those are just parts of me trying to protect me, and a much larger part knows that putting this book out into the world is the purpose
I was born for. I can say “Hello”, put my hand on the part they are speaking from, and thank them for protecting me. Maybe even take them by the hand and ask them to sit close by and warn me if dangers I am unaware of, come lurking!!!
Thank you Ann! In less than 10 minutes you have cleared up an issue that I have been struggling with for a long time…
I hope to thank you in person someday!
Warmly,
Ariane
Ariane, I am thrilled to know that something from me has been so helpful to you in moving forward with your book!! And so happy to picture you being kind to those worried protective voices that don’t really want to hold you back…
hi Ann,
I am Maja and I just finished Level 2 with your school. As Level 3, suitable for Europeans (time wise) will start only in May, I am thinking about taking this program – the year of a big shift – depends a bit on a budget though. I would love to receive more info.
Thank you, Maja
Hello Ann,
I have been away from Focusing for a few years. Thank you for this short video to remind me of the power of Focusing. That Compassion of saying Hello to the ‘something in me’ is so essential. I feel a sense of comfort and ease just beginning again.
I’ve been happily working a part time job in health care that allows me to use and develop my gifts, yet the winds of change are in the air, and it might be time to be independent again, as scary as that sounds. – no, wait – something in me is sensing it would be scary. Rumbling in my belly, tightness. Hello, I hear your concern for my safety.
Blessings my Friend,
MarySusan
Hi MarySusan – Welcome back! I know what you mean by the winds of change! The ability to be with our hopes and fears without “falling in” is such a fabulous power to have with us for times of change… Blessings!
Dearest Ann
I appreciate so much your videos and guidance. I also appreciate everybody’s shared experiences.
I am going through very moving experiences and it is the time when I most need to be in touch with my inner self in a loving and caring way.
THANK YOU from all parts of my self
Hi Dora — I am so grateful that you are finding support and community here. How good that you are answering the inner call to be in touch with your inner self in a loving way! Blessings…
Hello Ann
I am going through a transition in my life and I was pleased to hear you say you needed to sit with the something more for months! I want to not rush this part of my life. My body is helping me to not rush with more time to just be for now. During the brief practice my voices said you can’t teach focusing alone! You’re not Ann Weiser Cornell!! Turning towards that critical fearful part while keeping space for the strong part is something I plan to practice in relation to wanting to pass on the amazing message of focusing as a way of being. I remain open to the big dream in tandem with what the world in which I live needs.
I am doing the David Rome Focusing and Mindfulness course on-line which is really helping me – thank you for expanding the world of Focusing.
Hi Marie – Great to hear from you – So good to hear that you are going to practice turning toward the fearful critical part. That is what it needs! Lovely that you are carrying forward to bring Focusing to the world!
Timely, in a convoluted way, and always grateful. This year, life took a twist: due to a looming health issue and reduced finances (how the two go hand in hand too often!) I made a major change to living arrangements. Motivating this was the belief that I would have more peace and time to work with some difficult felt senses which I felt were holding me down.
Well, where I thought this new situation would be beneficial and help me move forward (i.e., less expenses, a family environment), it has turned about. In their own negative way however, the actions of others reflect (and, alas) magnify these very felt “hold back” senses. And along came this video. With this video, it wasn’t so much learning to hold the felt sense with empathy but gaining that “Ah, ha!” moment, peeling myself away from the outside environment. I could now coax some felt senses out of the fog they seemed to want to remain behind because now I could understand, sit and sympathise with them. Previous therapies have helped me distance myself somewhat from the external “drama” but this new information helped create a good distancing. Now with the external “stuff” tagged and bagged (but still having to be endured), it’s as if we (felt sense and I) look at each other and go: “Huh! So that’s what we’re making an effort over?” Still a lot of work to do but good insights and assurances to work with.
Now for the convoluted timeliness, or would it just be serendipity (which I like to think of as my favourite muse, despite not having a classical mythological origin). My mouse slipped at the end of the video and started up a video of you doing a focusing over your sister’s death. As I’ve not had the chance to take a full focusing course, I glean as much as I can out of the freebies! And at first, I thought this might not be entirely helpful… until you began talking about living in your family “like a ghost.” Wow, the hum that your personal reflections set off in me. It was like a bunch of felt senses rushed forward, just as when I used to do story times as a librarian and pulled out the picture book, kids would race to sit in front of me. That hum was a great turning point. At least, I feel it is. So, I know (and felt senses know), there’s still the daily drama around BUT, thanks to a slip of the hand and to you sharing, it’s as if a big bully has dropped trousers and fallen flat on their face.
Hi Daniel – Your post made me smile, I really enjoyed the image of you and the felt sense looking at each other! And how your mouse slipped and you found yourself watching me Focusing on my sister’s death. And a bunch of felt senses rushed forward like kids at library story time! I know those times so well… thank you so much for posting.
Thank you Ann for this great video! I am brand new to focusing, I completed your 5 Day Intro Course and have been watching some of your videos, my favorite one was the Urge to Indulge!
At this point in my life, I am not really sure what my dream is…so for me it is not about feeling fear about accomplishing my dream, it is more about not knowing what it is, and I am unsure what that part of me is trying to tell me. But there is definitely a part of me that feels pressured to have it figured out! So something in me (as you would say) is uncertain and the other is pressured…so this is were I am today.
Thank you for providing me with a space to learn more about myself! Looking forward to your next video 🙂
Isabella, welcome to the world of Focusing! There is so much richness in YOU waiting to be explored. And you are already able to recognize the part that feels pressured to figure it out and the part that is impatient… well done!
Thank you again Ann. As always your exercises are very profound and the answers are never what I expect them to be. Something in me was very worried – worried that I could not do things I had never done before. It was a surprise and a relief to know that that was there. A huge shift was experienced and what came was the understanding that everything I had ever done was to try to fulfill the want of being loved. That is something I now need to be with.
24 Comments
Good morning Ann, what a helpful video.. I think my wish is similar to yours.. about sharing what we have received that has transformed our lives.. the words came ‘I know where to start’. About how to ‘make it happen’!
For years I ran groups with a well used structure & great teaching, as well as my own experience & enthusiasm, foe it feels as if the old structures are not sufficient, its about Being… Not ‘DoI have enough?’, but ‘Am I Enough?’ Enough full or empty.. but being & then what!
Looking forward to your next video, this has brough5 someth8ng to clearer sight.
Lots of love
Hajah
HI Heather… Great to hear from you… What an important insight, that “Am I enough?” is the key for you. And that it’s about Being!
So that part of you that doubts and questions whether you are enough for your own dream… for the unique dream that is generated out of who you are… that needs compassionate company for what it is really worried will happen if you allow yourself to feel your enough-ness…
I’m one of those people who were brave/stupid enough to actually go after their big dream. Let me tell you how that worked out.
5+ years ago I left my “normal career” for a “creative career”. I had doubts, of course, but I felt like I found my calling, my big dream, and that if I just “take a leap”, then it will somehow work out. I was young and naive, and I guess I listened too much to all those “life coaches” and “inspirational speakers” who make money telling you that you can achieve anything, that “the Universe will support you”, etc.
Well, apparently, the Universe has no desire to support me, because 5+ years on I still haven’t made any money from this “creative career”. And, frankly, I haven’t really achieved much, despite having the talent and trying hard.
It looks like I better cut my losses and get back to the “normal career” while I still can. If I wait a few more years, no one will want to hire me at all.
The thought of going back doesn’t make me feel happy, but at least I will be able to support myself financially again. It’s better than nothing.
So no, it’s not about the doubting voices.
It’s about the fact, that it just didn’t work.
Why didn’t it work for me? It still feels like something I want. But I don’t think I will ever achieve it.
Hi Dreamer – Thanks for sharing your story, I so understand the discouragement. We need our full intelligence to make wise choices, weighing all the factors. It sounds like you’re doing that.
As you’ve learned, “The Universe will support me” is just as much from a “part” as “I don’t deserve to follow my dream.” Neither one should be the one making our life choices.
In my view, something is missing whenever we feel like we have an either-or choice. There is a process for stepping back from what seems to be the either-or… like “I can either earn a living, or I can be creative, but not both.” Each side has something it wants for you… and you can listen to the wanting. It’s a “part” that has the belief that I can only get X by doing Y. I don’t know the answer! I just know that one can step back from the back and white choice and explore “what is wanted” from each side.
I am grateful for listening to this. I am making a big shift in 7 months, a life changing shift and a lot of fear is coming up for me. Listening to this really helped me get in touch with the fear. It was great to understand that that part of me is trying to keep me safe and know to speak to it in a way that respects it but doesn’t let it take me over. Thank you!!
Melanie, I’m so glad it helped! It makes sense to have a part that is around such a big step. Be sure to say “No wonder!” to that fearful part of you, as you give it compassion… and YOU make wise choices.
I meant to say “to have a part that is fearful…”
Thank you so much, Ann! I am a newcomer in the focusing world and so happy to have found you! I am on day 3 of your 5 day Intro Course
and your website is a wonderful resource as I make my way through your 1st book (The power of focusing). This video clears up so much regarding
the fearful and shameful voices that are part of me as I pursue the process of writing my first book.
“Who do you think you are, writing a book?”
” There are enough books out there, why would anyone need yours?”
“You don’t have the skills, much less the contacts to market a book.”
Now I know those are just parts of me trying to protect me, and a much larger part knows that putting this book out into the world is the purpose
I was born for. I can say “Hello”, put my hand on the part they are speaking from, and thank them for protecting me. Maybe even take them by the hand and ask them to sit close by and warn me if dangers I am unaware of, come lurking!!!
Thank you Ann! In less than 10 minutes you have cleared up an issue that I have been struggling with for a long time…
I hope to thank you in person someday!
Warmly,
Ariane
Ariane, I am thrilled to know that something from me has been so helpful to you in moving forward with your book!! And so happy to picture you being kind to those worried protective voices that don’t really want to hold you back…
Thank you
hi Ann,
I am Maja and I just finished Level 2 with your school. As Level 3, suitable for Europeans (time wise) will start only in May, I am thinking about taking this program – the year of a big shift – depends a bit on a budget though. I would love to receive more info.
Thank you, Maja
Hello Ann,
I have been away from Focusing for a few years. Thank you for this short video to remind me of the power of Focusing. That Compassion of saying Hello to the ‘something in me’ is so essential. I feel a sense of comfort and ease just beginning again.
I’ve been happily working a part time job in health care that allows me to use and develop my gifts, yet the winds of change are in the air, and it might be time to be independent again, as scary as that sounds. – no, wait – something in me is sensing it would be scary. Rumbling in my belly, tightness. Hello, I hear your concern for my safety.
Blessings my Friend,
MarySusan
Hi MarySusan – Welcome back! I know what you mean by the winds of change! The ability to be with our hopes and fears without “falling in” is such a fabulous power to have with us for times of change… Blessings!
Dearest Ann
I appreciate so much your videos and guidance. I also appreciate everybody’s shared experiences.
I am going through very moving experiences and it is the time when I most need to be in touch with my inner self in a loving and caring way.
THANK YOU from all parts of my self
Hi Dora — I am so grateful that you are finding support and community here. How good that you are answering the inner call to be in touch with your inner self in a loving way! Blessings…
Hello Ann
I am going through a transition in my life and I was pleased to hear you say you needed to sit with the something more for months! I want to not rush this part of my life. My body is helping me to not rush with more time to just be for now. During the brief practice my voices said you can’t teach focusing alone! You’re not Ann Weiser Cornell!! Turning towards that critical fearful part while keeping space for the strong part is something I plan to practice in relation to wanting to pass on the amazing message of focusing as a way of being. I remain open to the big dream in tandem with what the world in which I live needs.
I am doing the David Rome Focusing and Mindfulness course on-line which is really helping me – thank you for expanding the world of Focusing.
Hi Marie – Great to hear from you – So good to hear that you are going to practice turning toward the fearful critical part. That is what it needs! Lovely that you are carrying forward to bring Focusing to the world!
Timely, in a convoluted way, and always grateful. This year, life took a twist: due to a looming health issue and reduced finances (how the two go hand in hand too often!) I made a major change to living arrangements. Motivating this was the belief that I would have more peace and time to work with some difficult felt senses which I felt were holding me down.
Well, where I thought this new situation would be beneficial and help me move forward (i.e., less expenses, a family environment), it has turned about. In their own negative way however, the actions of others reflect (and, alas) magnify these very felt “hold back” senses. And along came this video. With this video, it wasn’t so much learning to hold the felt sense with empathy but gaining that “Ah, ha!” moment, peeling myself away from the outside environment. I could now coax some felt senses out of the fog they seemed to want to remain behind because now I could understand, sit and sympathise with them. Previous therapies have helped me distance myself somewhat from the external “drama” but this new information helped create a good distancing. Now with the external “stuff” tagged and bagged (but still having to be endured), it’s as if we (felt sense and I) look at each other and go: “Huh! So that’s what we’re making an effort over?” Still a lot of work to do but good insights and assurances to work with.
Now for the convoluted timeliness, or would it just be serendipity (which I like to think of as my favourite muse, despite not having a classical mythological origin). My mouse slipped at the end of the video and started up a video of you doing a focusing over your sister’s death. As I’ve not had the chance to take a full focusing course, I glean as much as I can out of the freebies! And at first, I thought this might not be entirely helpful… until you began talking about living in your family “like a ghost.” Wow, the hum that your personal reflections set off in me. It was like a bunch of felt senses rushed forward, just as when I used to do story times as a librarian and pulled out the picture book, kids would race to sit in front of me. That hum was a great turning point. At least, I feel it is. So, I know (and felt senses know), there’s still the daily drama around BUT, thanks to a slip of the hand and to you sharing, it’s as if a big bully has dropped trousers and fallen flat on their face.
Hi Daniel – Your post made me smile, I really enjoyed the image of you and the felt sense looking at each other! And how your mouse slipped and you found yourself watching me Focusing on my sister’s death. And a bunch of felt senses rushed forward like kids at library story time! I know those times so well… thank you so much for posting.
Thank you Ann for this great video! I am brand new to focusing, I completed your 5 Day Intro Course and have been watching some of your videos, my favorite one was the Urge to Indulge!
At this point in my life, I am not really sure what my dream is…so for me it is not about feeling fear about accomplishing my dream, it is more about not knowing what it is, and I am unsure what that part of me is trying to tell me. But there is definitely a part of me that feels pressured to have it figured out! So something in me (as you would say) is uncertain and the other is pressured…so this is were I am today.
Thank you for providing me with a space to learn more about myself! Looking forward to your next video 🙂
Isabella, welcome to the world of Focusing! There is so much richness in YOU waiting to be explored. And you are already able to recognize the part that feels pressured to figure it out and the part that is impatient… well done!
Thank you again Ann. As always your exercises are very profound and the answers are never what I expect them to be. Something in me was very worried – worried that I could not do things I had never done before. It was a surprise and a relief to know that that was there. A huge shift was experienced and what came was the understanding that everything I had ever done was to try to fulfill the want of being loved. That is something I now need to be with.
Tarryn – That sounds like a huge shift indeed! Isn’t Focusing great? So glad the exercise helped…
Focusing is indeed the best!