Untangling®
A Process to Transform What Feels Impossibly Stuck
For the parts of you that long to move forward, but don’t know how, Untangling® helps you meet inner conflicts with empathy to unlock deep, lasting transformation.
UNTANGLING®
A Process to Transform What Feels Impossibly Stuck
with
Ann Weiser Cornell & Barbara McGavin
For the parts of you that long to move forward, but don’t know how, Untangling® helps you meet inner conflicts with empathy to unlock deep, lasting transformation.
Are You Stuck in Patterns That Seem Unchangeable?
We’ve all faced moments where no matter how hard we try, certain issues in our lives remain stubbornly unchanged.
Whether it’s persistent self-doubt, recurring conflicts, or habits we can’t seem to break, these challenges can feel like tangled knots in our inner world.
Ann Weiser Cornell and Barbara McGavin understand this struggle intimately. Through their own journeys with depression, addiction, and self-criticism, they discovered that these seemingly insurmountable problems weren’t signs of failure but invitations to deeper understanding.
They developed the Untangling® method: a compassionate approach to transform “Tangles” into pathways for growth and healing.
What Is a “Tangle”?
A Tangle is more than just a problem; it’s a complex web of conflicting emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that keep you stuck.
It’s that inner turmoil where one part of you wants change, while another resists it.
Traditional methods like willpower or positive thinking often fall short because they don’t address the underlying emotional complexity.
What Is a “Tangle”?
A Tangle is more than just a problem; it’s a complex web of conflicting emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that keep you stuck.
It’s that inner turmoil where one part of you wants change, while another resists it.
Traditional methods like willpower or positive thinking often fall short because they don’t address the underlying emotional complexity.
The Untangling® Approach: Compassionate Transformation
Untangling® isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about understanding and compassionately engaging with the parts of you that are in conflict.
By creating an inner environment of acceptance and curiosity, you can begin to listen to these parts, understand their roles, and gently untangle what’s keeping you stuck.
The Untangling® Approach: Compassionate Transformation
Untangling® isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about understanding and compassionately engaging with the parts of you that are in conflict.
By creating an inner environment of acceptance and curiosity, you can begin to listen to these parts, understand their roles, and gently untangle what’s keeping you stuck.
Wherever there is something in your life that is impossible to think, feel, or do, you’re finding the exact spot where the next steps in your life are waiting to unfold.
– Ann Weiser cornell + Barbara mcGavin
“Wherever there is something in your life that is impossible to think, feel, or do, you’re finding the exact spot where the next steps in your life are waiting to unfold.“
– Ann Weiser Cornell + Barbara McGavin
How is Untangling® related to Inner Relationship Focusing?
Inner Relationship Focusing helps you get to know your inner world in a new way—especially the parts that are hurting, scared, or overwhelmed. It’s grounded in cultivating what we call Self-in-Presence: the ability to be with any part of yourself with compassion, curiosity, and acceptance. This gentle inner relationship is what allows real change to happen.
Untangling is an application of Inner Relationship Focusing to the places in life that feel deeply, persistently stuck. It builds on the foundation of IRF to help with Tangles: patterns that seem impossible to shift, no matter what you’ve tried.
Untangling gives you a structured yet flexible way to understand these dynamics and relate to each part with deep empathy, so what’s been stuck can finally begin to move.
Are you ready to experience how Untangling transforms what’s impossibly stuck?
Let’s get started!
Some Parts Want Change. Others Dig In. Let’s Untangle That.
If you’re ready to move beyond feeling stuck and start a journey of genuine transformation, the Untangling® method offers a way forward.
Through understanding, compassion, and presence, you can begin to untangle the knots within and discover a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Untangling
How You Can Transform What’s Impossibly Stuck
In their book, Untangling: How You Can Transform What’s Impossibly Stuck, Barbara and Ann share their personal stories and guide you through the process of identifying and transforming your own Tangles. They provide practical tools and insights to help you navigate your inner world with compassion and clarity.
In Untangling, you’ll learn:
Advanced Untangling Courses
To join us, you’ll need to have completed Your Path to Lasting Change or the equivalent.
Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
This year-long, live, online program with Ann and Barbara is for people who are ready for a committed journey into the heart of their Tangles.
What you can expect from the program:
Untangling Retreats
The Untangling® Retreats are six-day in-person retreats for Untangling your Tangles and turning your life around – so that what was impossible becomes possible.
What you can expect from the retreats:
How Untangling® is Changing Lives
The Untangling book
“Barbara McGavin and Ann Weiser Cornell help you feel powerful as you acknowledge your feelings with no judgment… As I read, I felt an immense amount of empathy and compassion from the authors.
Readers who are ready to look inward to solve hard issues and grow as individuals will benefit from reading Untangling.”
The Untangling book
“A beautiful, wise, useful, and important book. Imagine a world where we could all untangle the tangles! Untangling is an excellent place to begin.”
Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
“Before the Getting Free course, my biggest challenge was an awareness that I always felt like I was bad, wrong somehow, but I didn’t know really, what to do about it. And I knew I carried so much hurt and shame from an abusive childhood. It left me feeling defeated and hopeless.
I’d been trying to feel good about myself for decades, but nothing brought me the relief I was seeking. Getting Free taught me HOW to love myself. HOW to be with every Part of myself. And I’m now feeling so much more comfortable in my own skin — something I’d always longed for. The difference is like night and day! I feel so much more at peace and at home in the world. Like I belong here too, and that I’m okay.
Before the course, I was getting triggered constantly, throwing me back into the pain of the rejection I felt as a child. Now when I get triggered, I know I need to turn towards this Younger Me and give her the presence and company that she needs. And in my “outer” life I’m experiencing so much connection and closeness in my relationships – what I’ve always longed for but seemed impossible for me to ever have.
As I’ve been writing here I’m so aware of how different and much more free, comfortable, and joyful my life has become, and in such a short time! I so appreciate this class!”
Untangling Retreats
“In this course, I came in touch with those parts of me who are never allowed to be felt because they could be too painful. Being there and listening to what troubles them made it possible for me to draw a line when I feel overwhelmed by things in my life without being so scared. I am still scared, and I can feel how much pressure there is between ‘I need my own quiet space right now…’ and ‘You egoist! You can’t just withdraw and not care about others…’ It is good to feel that and to also feel that there is a possibility, a step ahead of me, that will be freed of that fear little by little.”
The Untangling book
“An insightful and compassionate guide for working with life’s most difficult challenges. Drawing on deeply personal and intimate experience, coupled with years of study and inquiry, Untangling offers insight and practical tools for anyone attempting to break free from their limitations and unhelpful patterns. This book is for anyone seeking to shift from ‘stuckness’ and move into a place of transformation and flow.”
The Untangling book
“A brilliantly supportive, generous, and life giving book. Ann and Barbara offer themselves and their work to support people on how to meet difficult and stuck places with a method that is filled with presence, love, and compassion. The stories, examples, and guidance bring life to this work, and the possibility of staying close to life’s own unfolding.”
Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
“Before Getting Free, I wondered if it was possible to feel comfortable in my own skin without feeling any regret. Now, I can be with myself with care, interest, empathy, and total acceptance. I feel very confident I can gently approach whatever shows up in me to be heard and felt. There’s an inner knowing of how to be with myself that was not there before. I’ve discovered how beautiful and gentle I am and I have a deeper sense of belonging. I keep finding treasures that are so nourishing and I feel like I’m making a difference in the world.”
Untangling Retreats
“My life has changed since the retreat. I no longer spend several hours a day playing games on my phone. What was once an irresistible siren call was shut off just like a water tap. My eating habits (my main tangle) are no longer a problem. My stomach is behaving as it should and I don’t fight off cravings or the desire to eat foods that don’t agree with me. Eating has become an easeful process for me, for the first time in my life.”
The Untangling book
“Ann and Barbara zero in on the stuck places and self-destructive thoughts and behaviors that seem impossible to change. Untangling provides a map to a freer and more interesting life that is brilliant, inviting, and amazingly practical. This book can change your life.”
The Untangling book
“Studded with illuminating stories from the authors’ personal lives, Untangling offers stunning insights into the structure of our knottiest and most intractable inner conflicts, and shows readers the way out — by deeply listening with compassion to the hidden and exiled parts of the self that are waiting to be heard and understood. Untangling will be invaluable for psychotherapists and laypeople alike who are seeking a method for working through difficult and deep-seated emotional issues and blocks.”
Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
“The Getting Free course was a real life-changing experience. During this year, much of the drama in my personal life has transformed into more manageable and more substantial relationships, with my family, friends, and in the workplace. I can deal better with the events my life brings to me. And best of all, I wake up in the morning with a feeling of relaxed calm. And having a supportive community going forward is something I am deeply grateful for. Thank you, Ann and Barbara, for building a Focusing community!”
Untangling Retreats
“Before the Untangling Retreat, my biggest challenge was around being fully courageous. I sometimes felt weakness or anger because of this challenge. Now, I’m more confident. I have more trust in my parts and in my resources. My Focusing practice with clients has also improved. Ann and Barbara are amazing.”
The Untangling book
“Using this method, we can begin to heal our relationship to ourselves, in an embodied way, and can transform our connection to self, others, and our world. Untangling is a path well worth exploring.”
The Untangling book
“…one of the most inspirational self-help guides I’ve read all year.
Untangling offers practical tools and insights for self-reflection, which you can use to delve into the root causes of your problems and steer those parts (aspects) of yourself toward the path of healing and fulfillment.”
Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
“Before Getting Free, my tangle invaded every aspect of my life. I felt stuck and frustrated. This sometimes showed up in self-sabotaging ways that kept me from moving forward. During the course, I was finally able to complete a project that had been stalled for a long time. And I also increased my capacity to pause and recognize when aspects of my tangle are activated. That’s been enormously liberating for me. What a beautiful gift this course is…“
Untangling Retreats
“I was excited to do Focusing in person, but find groups difficult/scary. So going to a double retreat is like flying into the eye of the needle! The standard of teaching was excellent, as was the tranquility and beauty of the location. And after the retreat, my Focusing appears to be greatly enhanced. I can go deeper and am able to be with parts more. My understanding of ‘the big picture’ seems clearer.“
The Untangling book
“Barbara McGavin and Ann Weiser Cornell’s transformative self-help guide Untangling cuts to the heart of life’s most complex problems, providing concrete directions for addressing the internal knots that stop people from living their most authentic and expansive lives.”
The Untangling book
“McGavin and Cornell’s patient and methodical self-help manual offers both a comprehensive diagnosis of the problems that become the sticking points in people’s lives, and remedies to get unstuck. By “deliberately inviting a felt sense” of what keeps you stuck “and then spending time with it,” rather than ignoring or seeking to vanquish it, we can “untangle,” be happy, and be free. Through a mixture of powerful personal anecdotes, astute theoretical analysis, and concrete, easy-to-follow instructions, McGavin and Cornell have created an indispensable manifesto of personal healing.“
Getting Free: A Year of Untangling
“It used to feel like some invisible worry was drawing all my energy. Now there’s more energy for all the projects I want to do.
“The focusing technique is the only thing that has really helped me to change. I like how respectful the technique is — it doesn’t presume superior knowledge about the client — it uses the client’s own deep knowledge of their issues to gradually resolve them.”
The Untangling book
“My biggest challenge has been to be with states of pain and anxiety from my youth and early childhood. And also to be able to work with methods that help with that, because when they do function, my defense systems adapt to them, and the methods can be neutralized. This is a pattern in my life that made me feel despondent.
Coming across Ann and Barbara’s work not only gives me “hope” but also concrete demonstrably effective tools for moving forward, for opening up to what’s inside of me. I have been working with the new book, Untangling since the day it came out. Now, I’ve got a real method and the ability to apply it and experience Focusing-related shifts. Something deep down now knows this is going to work, to carry forward.”
An Invitation
You’ve heard how this work has touched others. Maybe something in you is feeling quietly hopeful—or curiously drawn.
Untangling isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about learning to be with what’s here, with compassion and presence, so that what’s been stuck can finally begin to shift.
If you’re ready to explore a new way of being with yourself…
we’re here to walk beside you.
