Ian writes:
“I wanted to ask if you had any thoughts about using Focusing for helping with suffering from panic attacks. I have a friend who’s just confided in me that he suffers from them, and I don’t know whether or not to recommend Focusing – I don’t want him to feel that it’ll make him even more acutely aware of his panicky feelings.
Dear Ian,
It’s true that one of the biggest things people fear, when they’re panicking, is the panic itself. I’ve been told that it’s as if the “adrenalin pedal” gets stuck, like the gas pedal in a car. Noticing how fast one’s heart is beating, for example, can be scary in itself. So I understand why you’re wondering.
However, it’s been my experience that an Inner Relationship Focusing process is wonderful for people experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and the related phobias like fear of public places. This is because having a panic attack is literally becoming merged with an emotional experience — and we know that practice in finding Presence can build a stronger and stronger sense of being able to give company to such experiences rather than being merged with them.
As I’ve worked with people experiencing panic, one of my favorite invitations is this one:
“You might put a gentle hand on the place where you’re feeling that right now.”
I think one reason this invitation is so powerful, and is so often experienced with relief by the panicking person, is that it allows the hand to embody Presence, the being-with self. “YOU might put a gentle hand…” There is a YOU there who is more than the panic.
Furthermore, it gives something to DO, it is an action, and it is a gentle and nurturing action that can be felt in the body as supportive.
A follow-up phrase to that one would be: “…as if with your hand you are saying to that place, Yes I’m with you. I’m here with you.”
Again, the YOU of the Focuser is emphasized as a nurturing Presence, being with “that place.” From there, we can go on to the rest of Focusing: sensing what IT feels like, checking with IT if that’s right, keeping IT company, sensing how IT feels emotionally from ITS point of view. Who is sensing those things? The “I” of Presence, the one who places the gentle hand.
Not just with panic but with anyone I’m working with, who is feeling something but doesn’t know how to be with it, I may offer this invitation to “let a gentle hand go to that place.” It’s amazing how often this practical and specific step allows the being-with to happen.
