“Did I forget anything?”
I travel for weeks at a time, four or five times a year. Of course I have a routine. I have a travel toiletry kit that stays packed. I store things in my suitcase that I only need when I travel. I have a master packing list that I can print out and consult each time.
But that’s not all I do. I also do Focusing. And sometimes Focusing is what saves me from forgetting something major.
Today I’m packing for the Focusing International Conference that starts tomorrow — a two and a half hour drive from where I live. Too far to run back to if I forgot something. I’m chairing the committee that is putting on the conference, which makes the list of things I’m remembering quite long.
I think I’ve got them all. But let’s see.
To bring Focusing in, I pause. (I’m doing that now.) It’s like I’m “turning toward” my body. If you were watching me, you wouldn’t see anything special from the outside, but inside, my attention is going to my support…the feel of resting on the chair…my breathing… mmm…and the inner sense of my body, how it feels now in my throat, chest, stomach…
And I can feel something in my stomach. So I’m pausing further, just to feel it.
What’s noteworthy right now is what I’m NOT doing. I’m not thinking, not figuring out, not analyzing. I’m not evaluating this feeling as good or bad, proper or improper. I’m just sensing it.
Words begin to come, words that I offer to it tentatively, to see if they fit. Excitement… uneasiness… Then an image, like I’m sitting at the edge of a cliff. I sit with that a while.
And then a memory: speakers. I was going to bring my little speakers, and I got caught up in something else. I’m going to look for them right now.
Focusing in the midst of life
OK, I’m back. I got up and looked for the speakers. I was not able to find them. After I had looked everywhere possible, I felt a sense of peace, of letting go. Someone else is bringing theirs, I thought, and we don’t really need two sets.
Getting up and looking for the speakers, not being able to find them, and then coming to peace about that, has completely changed the feeling in my body. No longer uneasy, it’s now relaxed and “at rest.”
I find that Focusing in the midst of life is like that. Sometimes I need to get up and do something. What happens next brings a change, and then I notice how that feels.
…
Now I’m at the conference, and apparently my packing process was successful. Nothing essential is missing. When I pause, my body gives me a sense of what’s next. It’s a kind of quiet, grounded anticipation. I have a lot of responsibilities this week, but instead of being stressed about it, I trust being in touch with myself in the moment. And I’m grateful…to Focusing.
