“You’re so disorganized! You’re hopeless about money! You’re a physical mess!”
Dear Readers of the Weekly Tips:
For those of you who, like me, celebrated the turning of the year last night, it’s a good time to look forward with hope and fresh intentions. What do you want to create in 2014? How do we want to collaborate and support each other?
It’s also a time to look back with appreciation and assessment. Did you live the life you wanted to live in 2013? Did you treat others and yourself with compassion and kindness? Did you bring more YOU into the world?
One thing I appreciate is how I have learned to change my life without using self-criticism and without feeling bad about myself. In the old days, around this time of year I would carry around a sour feeling and a harsh inner voice saying, “You’re so disorganized! You’re hopeless with money! You’re a physical mess!” Identified with the reaction to this voice, I would feel terrible and rarely take effective action.
The inner critic is really frightened
I’m so grateful that with the help of Barbara McGavin I developed a different way of responding to that kind of experience.
Now I understand that self-critical voices are from frightened parts of me. They are letting me know what they are worried about, and if I pause and listen, they will tell me what they are really worried about. Rather than being identified with a reactive part or a critical part, my sense of Self-in-Presence grows, and from there I make wise choices that are in balance.
Best of all: By now, after years of turning toward inner critics in this way, they just don’t come up any more. I can decide to change my life – cut down on salted foods for example – without beating myself up or feeling resentful at being told what to do. I love it!