Mary Elizabeth writes:
When I do Focusing, my release is usually with tears. In other words: I cry. Sometimes I wonder am I blocking myself from going deeper by crying? I feel good after and definitely have had a shift.
Dear Mary Elizabeth:
On the one hand, you feel good after Focusing and you’ve definitely had a shift. That’s good news!On the other hand, you sense that maybe there is something more, a deeper place, that you could be getting to, and you wonder if crying gets in the way.
Crying is often an accompaniment to Focusing! The box of tissue is standard equipment for Focusing facilitators and Focusing partners. And not because Focusing can get us in touch with sad places (though it can), but much more because tears can come along with a release or a shift.
In fact, for many people tears are one way that the body signals: “This is true.” I’m not talking now about sobbing or even crying, but more what you might call “tearing up,” having tears come to the eyes.
But tears are not typically the end of a Focusing session. Mary Elizabeth, I get the impression that you stop with tears. There is a release, with crying, and then you end the Focusing session, noticing that you feel a shift.
What I would wonder though is, what about the place where the crying came from? How is it doing now? Might you perhaps check back with it, before stopping, whether it feels heard, or whether there is something more it wants to let you know?
Tears can come with a relief and a shift, but that doesn’t mean the process needs to end there.
So if you are curious whether a deeper process is possible for you, that is where I would suggest you go — back into the body even after the shift, to sense how it is doing and if there is more…
