“My partner said, ‘Something in you is feeling very tranquil and calm.'”
Eduardo writes:
I was Focusing with a Focusing partner, and she said something I wasn’t sure about. I want to check this with you because you teach us to say “something in you feels…” to a partner if that person has a feeling. At one point in the session I was feeling very good, and I said, “I feel very tranquil and calm.” My partner said, “Something in you is feeling very tranquil and calm.” I wasn’t sure, but that didn’t feel right somehow. What would you say?
Dear Eduardo:
I agree with you. There is something not quite right about “something in you is feeling very tranquil and calm.”
Why? Because enjoyable feelings belong to all of us, not just to part of us. It’s not a part of you that is tranquil and calm, it’s YOU.
And even if there is a part of you that isn’t calm, the feeling of calm still belongs to all of you.
“I am feeling calm, and I am sensing something in me that is anxious.”
When we speak this way, our language supports our identification with the resilient feelings of calm, balance, openness, confidence, and so on. This is who we really are!
The wonderful thing about this approach is that you can have enjoyable feelings as the whole self, AND also give company and support to the more stressful feelings like anxiety or anger. All are welcome.
And when you give strong support to enjoyable feelings, you are supporting the natural life energy of your body process, which brings healing and empowerment. Lovely!
