“I feel heavy, dull, without energy and without motivation to to anything and sometimes even without motivation to live.”
A Reader writes:
I’m going through a very tough period at the moment where I feel heavy, dull, without energy and without motivation to to anything and sometimes even without motivation to live. It is very hard for me to get out of bed and everything I do is like a burden. It is very difficult to be with this feeling and not to see it as belonging to all of me, because that is exactly how it feels. It takes over my whole body and mind, in short my whole system! As it is coming over and over again, it is also very difficult for me to see it as something that is passing by and it is also difficult to see the good things in life at the moment. Something in me says that I should be thankful for what I’ve got and be happy or in peace with what is, but it is just not possible. The other part which takes over whole of me is much stronger and it even feels that it is ME. So what could you advise me to do? It is very hard to be in this state…
Dear Reader:
What I would advise you to do is acknowledge how hard it is.
It does sound very hard, and I’m sorry you’re having to go through it… but it’s not for no reason that it feels like this. This big something in you that is taking over your whole body and your whole system is doing that for a reason, probably because there is some kind of trauma or suffering from the past that needs your attention.
The part of you that tries to cheer you up by saying you should be thankful for what you have isn’t helping, clearly. Trying not to feel how we feel usually isn’t possible and doesn’t help.
And I do hear that this heavy, dull part of you feels stronger than you and feels like all of you.
But I suspect that if you give it a kind of unconditional attention that doesn’t try to change it, then it will start to notice and appreciate that you are actually there WITH it.
Be the one who is there to given interested attention, the one who is there is sense how it is. It can help to say the words, “I am here.” And to this big heavy part of you, “I am here with you now.”
Feel your body in contact and supported by what you are sitting on. Let a gentle hand move to the place in your body that is most suffering.
And then keep on sensing exactly how it feels. And describing that.I’m not saying this will be easy. I know it’s hard.
But if you are steady and persistent, then what I am suggesting will help, in time.
