“It sounds like that person was going through a real depression, and no one should go through that alone.”
A Reader writes:
Last week you had a letter from a person who is going through a very tough period where she feels “heavy, dull, without energy and without motivation to do anything and sometimes even without motivation to live.” I was wondering why you didn’t advise that person to see a therapist. It sounds to me like this person is going through a real depression, and no one should go through that alone.
Dear Reader:
I so agree with you! And thank you for writing, because this is such an important point.
Focusing isn’t meant to be something that takes the place of therapy, or of other helpful and supportive methods for emotional healing.
No one should have to go through anything hard, all alone.
And if that means seeking out a psychotherapist or a counselor, then yes, that is a very good idea.
Let’s also say that Focusing can occur in psychotherapy, and that there is a network of Focusing-oriented psychotherapists that can be found here.
If there isn’t a Focusing-oriented therapist near you, you can at least interview several people and take time after each meeting to ask your body sense some basic questions:
- Did I feel heard?
- Did I feel respected?
- Did I feel like I was seen as a basically OK person rather than as a diagnostic category?
- Did I end the session feeling hopeful?
There are many wonderful therapists out there. And if you already know Focusing, you can use your felt sense to guide you to the person who will be most compatible and supportive for you.
Sometimes making accurate diagnoses is critical for successful treatment!
For instance, persons struggling with bipolar disorders (as well as a number of others), not to diagnose condemns them to chaotic lives and life-long suffering. Interested readers may want to reference the brilliant work on bipolar disorders of Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Professor at John Hopkins University. In the classic book, An Unquiet Mind, she eloquently describes her personal struggles with a bipolar disorder and conviction that treatment involves both meds and competent therapy. And, competent therapy involves knowledge in the head!
Based on the research of psychotherapy, we know that a ‘theoretical persuasion’ such as ‘focusing-oriented therapist’ is not a a criterion for successful therapy. It has been found repeatedly that ‘good therapists’ across different theoretical persuasions are more alike than ‘good’ and ‘bad’ therapists of the same theoretical persuasion!
Space doesn’t allow for a discussion of what successful therapists share in common, however, competence, integrity, and honesty are probably minimal ingredients of successful therapy!