Are you in a struggle with feelings like anxiety or resistance but you don’t even notice that it’s happening?

By Ann Weiser Cornell on December 14, 2016 in Blog, Tips

Focusing Tip #539

“I have a very hard time getting identified with anxiety and resistance but don’t notice until after several days of struggling…”

Michelle writes:

I’m wondering if you can talk about any tips or suggestions for when we are identified with something? I have a very hard time with anxiety and resistance, and I think I often get identified with these feelings but don’t notice until after several days of struggling. Are there any tips for noticing when that is the case so that we can move towards that feeling of anxiety and/or resistance with loving presence?

Dear Michelle:

You know what to do when you do become aware that there is something in you that is anxious or something in you that is resisting. Move towards it with loving presence is right on!

But the dilemma, which you describe so well, is: How do I know I am identified with something? How do I become aware that this isn’t all of me, going around feeling anxious, or angry, or upset, or resisting… but something in me?

That’s the tricky part, isn’t it? If we don’t know we’re identified, we can’t do any of the other good things we know.

The first step is always to pause. Pausing means taking a bit of time to turn toward how you are feeling, how you are. If you get into the habit of doing this, then it doesn’t have to be triggered by any particular insight about your condition. Just pause… several times a day… and sense how you are.

At that point you can ask yourself, “Might I be caught up in something? Might I be identified with something? Might this unpleasant feeling or state be something I can say hello to?”

And whether or not you know the answer, try saying “Something in me is feeling _________.” Just try the words. See if they bring a sense of relief, or space, or curiosity.

And now you’re back on track to be able to be accepting Self-in-Presence with how you are feeling.

About the Author

Ann Weiser CornellView all posts by Ann Weiser Cornell


Add comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Our Newest Offering: Focusing in Daily Life

Join Ann Weiser Cornell for her brief, budget-friendly seminars for ways to help when you feel overtaken by anxiety, anger, or frustration when communicating with someone whose feelings run counter to your own.

Reaching Across Differences. Sign up here by June 28th.