Could trying to do too much Focusing create resistance to change?
Bhavani writes:
If an issue seems stuck, how often should one do focusing on it: every day, several times a day, a few times a week or once a week? Is there something called too much or too little? Because I am wondering if doing too much is counterproductive, i.e. it will make those parts resistant to change, and if doing too little will result is not giving enough attention for the change to really happen.
Dear Bhavani:
I’m curious what you mean by “if an issue seems stuck.”
When the Focusing process doesn’t bring an opening or a shift the way we had been hoping, I doubt if the problem is not Focusing often enough. It could be that there is something else going on. Most likely, there is an unacknowledged part.
Some years ago, I noticed something interesting about the word “stuck.” It’s an opinion… offered from the point of view of wanting a change to happen.
The lid of the jar isn’t “stuck” until I want to get it open. Until then, it’s just closed.
So perhaps the part that is not being acknowledged is something in you that feels an urgency about change, and is trying to use the Focusing process to make that change happen.
It’s OK to want to change! But when you are identified with a part of you that is impatient for change, then the parts that have their own reasons to put the brakes on don’t feel safe enough to enter the conversation. Result: nothing happens.
If that’s the situation, then more Focusing won’t help. What’s needed, I would say, is to recognize and acknowledge “something in me that is impatient and feels urgent about change.” Then the process can go forward again.
