Focusing Tip #837 – “How do I trust that I can hold all the feelings that may come?”

Might getting in touch with feelings be too much for you? Read on…

A Reader writes:

When we are journeying internally to bring to surface feelings that have been packed away for many years, how do we trust that we can hold all that will surface?

Dear Reader:

That’s exactly the question that Barbara McGavin and I set out to answer when we created Inner Relationship Focusing.

That inner environment is something we call “Self-in-Presence.”

Self-in-Presence is the ability to be with whatever we feel, the ability to feel ourselves as calm, spacious, and fundamentally OK, even when feelings are strong. Here’s a link to a past tip that answers the question “What is Self-in-Presence anyway?”

In our courses, we teach how Self-in-Presence can be cultivated and developed. As your ability to be Self-in-Presence grows, your worry about getting knocked over by overwhelming feelings fades away.

Probably there was a time, when you were younger, when your strong feelings were too much for you. If you didn’t have the environment at the time that would help you contain and be present for them, you would have found work-arounds, like suppressing and exiling those feelings.

That in turn would lead to the fear that the feelings will be too much for you now.

But when you cultivate Self-in-Presence as a way to be with feelings, it’s a new situation. It’s not how it was back then. And the truth is: Having feelings is natural. Having feelings is part of being alive.

When you can have your feelings and be OK as yourself, life is so much sweeter!