(Text from the images above)
It’s okay to take a moment in a stressful situation with another person. And, what you do with that moment really matters.
Here’s a relationship-positive way to take a break and regroup when tempers flare:
1. Notice. Right now, set your intention that the next time something triggers you into reactivity, you’ll notice. Without shame or blame. Just notice.
2. Press Pause. Here are some magical words that can help: “I need a moment.” If necessary, take your body out of the space for at least 5 minutes. Go for a walk down the hall. Go to the restroom.
3. Get Grounded. On your pause break, get grounded and breathe. Feel your body. You’ll likely feel “activated”: rapid heartbeat, increased tension in your muscles. Just notice that’s how it is right now.
4. I Am Sensing… Say this sentence: “I am sensing something in me having a reaction to ________, and I am saying Hello to that something in me.” You can even let a gentle hand go to the place where you feel it.
5. Listen: Take a moment to ask that part of you what is getting it so upset. Not the immediate cause, but the deeper one. “What’s really bothering you here?” And then listen.
Remember to Practice: Repeat this as often as you need. Really try to let it shift into your default mode of response to the other people in your life. If you do, you’ll notice a difference. And the people around you will notice too. You’ll get kudos from those close to you for being calmer (and probably a lot kinder too).
