Is it hard for you to sense anything in your body? Read on…
Nadia writes:
What should I do if I don’t sense anything when trying to tune into my body throughout the process?
Dear Nadia:
When I first tried to learn Focusing — a long time ago now! — I thought I was sensing nothing. I was frustrated and I also felt like I was the one dumb person in the room.
But later, looking back on those times, I realize I was feeling a lot! I felt frustrated. I felt stupid. Those are feelings!
Actually, I was in a fairly typical misunderstanding about what is meant by “in the body.” I thought that meant I was supposed to feel something as obvious as a stomachache or a sore throat.
But in Focusing terms, “in the body” isn’t the same as if you’re talking medically.
The body includes emotions (like frustration), thoughts (like “I can’t do this”), and images (like seeing everyone turning their back on me), as well as subtle feelings that are hard to describe. For me, learning Focusing meant learning to include all of these experiences. They were real; they counted.
And as Barbara McGavin and I developed the Untangling method that’s an application of Focusing to “impossibly stuck” areas of life, we found out that Focusing could even include parts or aspects that aren’t yet felt… but that we recognize by their effects. For example, if I’m feeling criticized and no one else is around, there’s surely an inner critic in me somewhere!
Being patient and accepting of whatever experiences you do have will open the door to being aware of more and more… and like me, you’ll find that when you think you’re feeling nothing, you’re actually feeling a lot!
